Thursday, December 31, 2009

This is mad chio, super norm, a trend that had started some time back, and lotsa others are doing the same, but who cares.


not much explanation needed, i knew nuts shit about Canon 450D anyway, but bbbbbbb promise to be patient and guide me step by step till i am a average photographer.

He has been on a few training over the years, had a portfolio date 1996, loads and loads of his huge ass grandfather-old lens and chrome, i saw this funny looking case with loads of photographers nonsence stuck at a corner of his room, den it brought back fond memories of those times he was so enthusiastic about photography, and before you can tell him more, WE ARE GETTING A CANON450D

It was a good deal and we are collecting it tmr, i promise to be fragile with it, take aimless photos, (swap with Pauline for her polaroid pic) and let bbbbb tk it back with him for 6 months, den join him in UK for more pic!!~
so pray God tht ICBS and BHP survive so we can cut down a load of $$$ on studios rental (not an issue with BHP since Benny has a great camera)

i cant wait!!~ bbbb and i are going shopping in town and here are our busy schedule till the day he flies.

oh did i mention i enjoy bumpping around his house, lazing on his sofa, chit-chatting with his mum and sisters and just disturbing him all day long?

bbbbb's gouty is long and he looks like a streetwalker, shall uploads pic and show u guys soon enuff~~


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

I am on cloud 9!!!~

If it were not for the half day work today i probably wouldnt be blogging, bbbbb and i are spending REAL quality time together, and thanks to the tiny surprise we r now ore comfortable to spend a tad more moolahs to make december a really good month.

my colleagues were right about calling me "sticky", i could very well acknowledge myself as "super glue" now. Happy happy happy, i am so delighted, so fond of him all over again.

i begin to see LDR in a different light, i reckon if bbbbb and i had to experience LDR a few more times, it would be like dating a new guy all over again.

Let me now bring u back to the moment he step out of the arrival hall, as well as the bloopers that comes along.

so finally comes 22nd Dec 2009, the midpoint between desperation and happiness, bbbbb was finally returning for the period and i just couldnt pick myself up well enuff to uphold that dignity i had inside to put on a smile, give me a tight hug and proceed.

That night, Dad was surprisely excited, he had reminded me times and times agian to set off early so i wont miss the flight. I had checked on for the flight information and was aware of the flight delay due to the transition. Then came the call from his Buddy about his stalled car along the highway, all wasnt going well and i was in tears.

Dad offfered to send me to the airport and send bbbb back home but i decline, cos we all know how difficult it is for me and him to express our fondness in front of our parents.

Grab my luggage ( i was staying over at his place throughout his extend in Singapore) and a heavy laptop and tugging with all might to brisk walk to the nearest Station, finally board the train and fell into a deep sleep cos i was so exhausted from all the anxiety today. Regret to say bbbb flight arrive before i could make it, but that kind lad shop around the terminal and waited for me to arrive to do our formal meetup.

i finally reached the arrival hall and caught a glimpse of his back, waiting for his luggage and belonging, we chat a little on the phone and he turn his back, den i saw his frail body, lost so much weight, and his white teethy smile, sorry if any of you are disgusting by this post, but i stare at his smile for a while and my mind wander back to the times we just got together, he is definitely cuter now.

When we finally meet, i let go of my belonging and hugged him super tight, we spend the next 5 min of so talking while i was in his arms, he was finally back and no amount of embarressing can stop me from kissin him in public and saying stuff i was so restricted to say, bbbbbbbbb i miss you soooo much.... welcome back.

bbbbbb took out a very big teddy and passed it to me, Bertie (the name that was given to our teddy) had a passport SIMILAR to that in UK, he had a proper DOB, place of origin as well as some minor details, the bear was born the date bbbbb and i got together=)

bbbbbb also bought some gift for my friends who took care of me, the bottomline is i had ALOT of present, bbbb 's mummy bought me lots of stuff on her recent trip to Hong Kong too,.. i was a super happy girl. Towards the night bbbb finally pass me my BBB8520, fully protected with a "girly-pink" phone cover, it was also loaded with lotsa of my favourite music, some of the video i had commented was good to keep, some mp3 and a customise desktop background. bbbb had done up all things nice about the phone so all i really had to do was to use them!!!~

i felt this mad rush to stop work today and see bbbbbb at the entrance again, he had fetch me to work this morning, ran in the rain to get me Mac breakfast, we shall be heading for our rendevouz (haha.. more like a chalet abd BBQ) with the rest of his mates later, after bbbb collect his "earnings", we will also be heading down to town and bbbb shall finally visit ION orchard, 313 building, Orchard Central, Kallang Leisure Park, Marina Barrage and all things nice that he had miss this 6 months.

Till then, more updates with pic, love you all, and love my bbbbbb the most =)


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

You make bunny cry!!~

Yeah you did, you totally did..

-one night of unrest

-7 hrs of anxiety

-182 days of misses

-16 months of love

ranting ranting, i got this feeling if i become older i might as well sit on a rocking chair and blog, the IT savvy Granny in da hse..

scream, shout, ran around town naked! i feel all this is better than waiting...........


Monday, December 21, 2009

I am in a serious dilemma, that of joy, yet filled with fear.
The clock is tickling too slow, yet i cannot complain, cos in a couple of hrs, i will be wishing it would tick slower.

My heart is beating twice as fast, yes i admit- i am scared.
I might sound so confident, but afterall, this is the first i can touch this imaginary image stuck on my mind for the past 6 month.

Running those finger through his stubby face, planting a sweet and soft kiss.
My mind is running wild, no sexual tots, so all of you please behave!~

We are gonna spend so much time together, making a closure to year 2009 a fruitful one, we will leave footprints on places in Singapore that we, as singaporean probably wont touch. He has requested i treat him like a tourist, so we will be camping out in the wild, alongside doing things i dreamt of doing since so long ago.

It is at this point that my senses woke up, alerting me times and times again the usual scent is returning, the homely scent he had on his collar bone. The same pair of hand that once took mine and since, never let go..

i m going on like a horror novel from King Stephen, but no,
this is a mix anxiety i had inside, the danger of him returning back too soon freak me out big time. As of now, i dun wish to carry too high hopes, cos afterall he will only be around for 2 weeks and i shouldnt be selfish and share this piece of delicious cake to those who wants it


Friday, December 18, 2009

Thursday, December 17, 2009

So there was this day where Besties and i were hopping around town and off we went to ION Orchard, i can now profoundly annouce New Look is the best place to try on clothes, snap picture of each other and still feel good about it. These pictures were taken EONs ago but i was too lazy to blog about them. Sigh!!~ Looking at this pic makes me miss my side parting sooooooooo much, gimme back!!~

Here's Sharon all grown up, our 9th year of friendship and she is growing taller, skinnier and fairer... Most irritating of all, she cant seem to stop loving heels, so i feel like a dwarf each time i am out with her

Here's my hot favourite piece from New Look. Am loving Gems and glittery details on dress, especially spreading around the cheat area. The typical "V" shape form on the dress gives the body a slimmer contour, so despite the dress being balloon-bottom whatsoever, the empahsis remains on how glamourous once look.

If you may notce, i have brilliantly match this glittery top with my current beau- a Diamante gold pump from Pretty Fit. And i got it at a huge discount *CONTENTED*

i want those fringeless days to come back sooner..!!~

--------------------- ANOTHER DAY AT ION ORCHARD---------------------
A day out with Jann to pass her the clothes she bought from BlackHairpins as well we get some inspiration together for wat to wear this joyous Season.

First stop is Ion Orchard New Look, the new favourite of mine since the staff are superbly friendly and the changing room are so spacious.

Both of us chose things we usually wear, and do a swop. It more like exchanging clothes and style tips. i learnt that day denim shirt makes very good casual outfit. And to think of it carefully, denim shirt are probably the only stuff one could wear without attracting the HR's attention in terms of dress code.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

i am not updating my entries, backdated several events that i wanna mark it down, yet it seems blogging just isnt the top on my priority.

I wanna earn enough money to spare some for CNY clothing. i wanna pay school fees and get it over and done with, i need to work harder on BlackHairpins and claim my share of profit now that we have some to spare Phyllis.

As for itchyybackside, the cake is now share among a few of us, good things is that Pau can get all the extra help she so needs, and she can do it at her free time, any time.

I wanna disappear from everyone who knows me during this period, enjoy a very short holiday with bbbbbbb............. no disturbance, nothing in mind. Den when he fly off, i wanna spend the last 6 months of being independant doing something fruitful.

I wanna move out of the house and settle down in a quiet place to prepare for the exam soon, i wanna score and not regret paying so much $$ for nuttin.

I wan to be known, in the money market, to assist people with what little knowledge about fashion i have, and seek their support to help me through this tough time in life.

There are soo many things i wan in life, and i am breaking them down slowly, disgesting them, applying them, making them happen....

bbbbbbbb says i change during this time he went away, its like the same Kristal with some added essence, i agree with him... i am the new Kristal = the same old Kristal with added essence..

i am not taking in details that prove useless in life, such comment that means sarcasm, are not taken seriously, although many times it irks me so much i wanna slap the person who said them cos they dunno how much it irritates me.

i can feel a transition i am undergoing again, the last time this feelings comes i went from a emo girl into a chirpy one.. lets pray hard this time its way better.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Bro's Solemnisation

One wedding dinner down, it was a super great night and yup, we have an official member now, Mrs Chng... Welcome..

I enjoyed the night, feel the importance, felt bro's joy, and needless to say this responsiblilty is mine now to take over.

Bro and sister-in-law talk to me about bbbbb tooo... most of my conversatio with everyone, i try to include him into the discussion, and invited bro to join me on my expedition to find bbbb during his graduation in 2010.

But my relationship is a complicated one and bbb never tot of marriage yet.
The bouquet was thrown, i deliberately refuse to accept the handover, cos this is a responsible too big to handle and i m not in the correct position to tk it yet.

I wish Bro and my new sister-in-law a happy marriage, and we look forward to having you with the family.

Bro says he is saving a place for his official wedding dinner for bbbbb, i hope he felt the joy too and realise how much he matters to me.. but not adding too much pressure to what he says i have already added on to him...

feeling down, could be the alcohol i drown myself into.... better log off...


Monday, December 07, 2009

Who is Pauline Kang?

Who is Pauline Kang?

i adopted SiAhPau 2 years back, even though she was already her mum's most precious, it was solely a temporary responsibility that later escalate into a friendship so close.
Pau has seen me through some failed relationship and with her we talk like no others, there were lots of times we stay up through the night, talking and gigglingg at funny tales we have heard. There were also tears, i put up at Pau's hse the first night bb went to uk, i cried through the night and Pau was there to keep me company.
The first time Pau experience a bad breakup, it wasnt me who was there for her, but thereafter, i make sure she had someone taking turn to keep her company. We went for a jog around her neighbourhood, den smuggle alcohol up her hse, hid it in one corner, den giggle and drink and repeat the process.
Though Pau can be really really hard-headed at times, she bothers to absorb wat was said, so i make sure i nag and nag till she realise wat to do...
I wont say i m that noble cos there are loads of times i require Pau's help too.
this entry is getting boring, just wanna conclude that she is part of the Kwa/Chng/Ding/Kang team now and we welcome her..


Sunday, December 06, 2009

Friday, December 04, 2009

Blog for 6 years now

6 years have past since i started blogging, with the help of "JeRk" whom first tot me how to login.

JeRk and i are now good friends that update each other on our lives every yearly.
I cant believe how self-infactuated i am back when i was 16, reading the entries, i could have luff my ass off ay my own silliness and also feel really embarress.
embarress i could actually assume i was that attractive and note down each and every time a guy was staring into me. I had entries that beg God to make me lose weight, and entries of how i wasnt able to wear that pair of size XL beach shorts. I was a very plump butch than, the kind that acts like a man but actually wanted to be pretty like her best friends.

it has since been a history, and i did eventually lose weight, even though not alot.

There was also entries on my desparation to escape May, which was the month i hated Read the entry here

i realise that guilt and anger hasnt actually subside.. but Grandma would have been less worried about me now, cos i have bb... and i
actually brought him to visit Grandma's tomb few months into our relationship..

i know reading those entries only reminds me wat a bad person i use to be, but one shoud always look forward, its from all this mistake that i learnt.

and i still miss you Grandma

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Unjustified unjustified...

i am feeling so make use of.
This feeling sucks, sometimes i wonder, why go through all this trouble where all i got in the end was a mere sum of money that, after paying school fees, does not allow room for lunch and dinner.

At that point, when i was being point finger at, the blame was on me, why hadnt i speak up? How could i? I was just a temporary, one who gets utilised to the fullest for the tiniest sum of salary.

I knew the blame was on me and i accepted that, steadily, but what really hurts was how this had all attribute to a blame solely on my part. While i had to do my job scope, the 3 most important person i was assign to, was not there.

One was on holiday, one was too sick to attend and the last one, left me alone to bleed. She did nuttin to offer her help, i did ask for help, i really did. But there wasnt enough going that had make it all smooth.

I admit i was really strong last week, stronger that i had tot, i was down with a fever, sore throat, i was coughing so much it hurts, i was "suppose" to be on medical leave, yet i was here, to make end meets.

I wanted to devote the time to doing my own stuff, really, if i could, it would has to be me above all else, but there wasnt a chance, i came, and along came all the otheer responsiblity that was threw on me, and i was to figure a way out for myself, lost and deillusionised.

the usual hours that permits me to finish my stuff was 9, yet i stayed on after that just to complete my stuff. Days after days i stayed longer and longer, even pending tots of skipping lecture, which i later put off cos each lesson cos me enough to work here for 2 days.

i finish it all in the end, but someone has to come up with new decision to alter watever was already fixed, and in the end, i had to re-do them all.. just cos i wasnt doing it for myself, i was doing it for them all.

Now that things are back to normal and it was time to submit the report. Fingers started pointing and they seems like arrow, pintpoint straight at me, i had done this i forget to do that. Everything voice down to an error on my part.

i wonder if they had stop to tink for once, that while they choose to rest at home, eat good food, i was struggle to make ends meet, to produce something with as little information as i was given. Do they also realise, if i had been given all the other task to do on top of wat was rightfully my duty, i would be able to resume work as per normal, get the meagre pay i was offer, and just allow me to rest at home and nest my fever. Den maybe nuttin would have happen, i would recover within days and not carry this bad cough with me for 4 weeks and counting.

if only, i had taken the advice and consult a doctor to get my medical certificate, i wouldnt have to take this responsibility, and get blame for something which i had done wrongly, but could have been avoided if i wasnt left alone to do other stuff instead of my stuff.

unjustified, yet i couldnt raise my opinion, i could only nod in silence while they tell me my mistake, but i know them all, i really do, just that the situation din allow me to do them correct. This is not a mistake, it was a misfortune.

Funnily, the job i had been looking forward to has now loses its appeal, cos i somehow the name "scapegoat" seems to come along with it.

hate it.... really down now.... unjustified


Sunday, November 29, 2009

Ok here are some official picture out for BlackHairpins Photo.
The overal picture turns out well so Phyl & i are super excited for the launch of this collection now.

I remember we made our way to town early that morning, stopping by a coffee house for some breakfast. MY fever hasnt quite subside but the meal tasted equally well..

We got lost at first but ended up at the right place eventually, thank God.

All i can say is the whole photoshoot was suppose to be a rush, but towards the end all of us shake off the urgency a little and started playing with the camera. Benny, who is also Phyl's bf, was a good photographer. He could calligraph our pose pretty well and there was always ample encouragement after each shoot, which helps alot =)
So its lucky you! Phyl...

Anyway i look closer at my pictures and couldnt take my eyes off the big patch of bald on my forehead. Consulted Phyl on this and we both decided to have my fringe chop off so the weight wouldnt encourage the balding further. You will all get to see my bangs pretty soon!!!!

We also had a few shots for the header of the blogskin, which i would revamp as soon as i get the time. There is much similarities between our feature, minus the difference in height, and now with my new Bangs, i can easily pose off as Phyl's twin, or Phyl's shorter version =)

Benny suggest both of us not to smile for a few shots,
turns out i am not as hostile looking as i assume i would be.

I love this pic, here's me looking at Phyl with lust! Deep down inside i had bb in mind!!!`

Finaly smiling, i know i am fat, but both Phyl & Benny are encouraging, so here's another reason to lose more weight, so the picture on BHP will turns out well.... Thanks to all those motivation, (Amanda inclusive=), thank you)
For all you people who wants a glimpse of whats coming up in BHP, do checkout some preview pic below, and feel free to tag me a comment if interested, cos i do pre-sale too~~! teehee...

xoxo, Kris


Sunday, November 22, 2009

To be Certain with ur choice.

i know how it feels like to be aimless and feel really doubtful about ur own future cos i've been in that shoe..

I always insist, reaffirming besties that i was never cut-out for a deskbound job, and that i love communication and meeting people... i had the slightest tot that i might end up being a store assistant the rest of my life

But then again, why was i muggin for a degree if it had already been fixed, why was i wanting a a degree to prove my capability? That could be more things in life, in my life, definitely

i had plans to be tied down by 27, to have a stable job by 24, the in between period will be use to strive harder to achieve a promotions by promotion.... i want to grow with a company steadily, married the correct guy, say a vow i could never turn back, buy a dream hse that snowball into a profit earning hse,.. get a economic car.. change a car so often..

i wasnt born for nuttin and neither was other people who are working hard...

no one is born ugly, nor normal looking, all of us dress up to look pretty.. if we dress like a confident young woman, den we will be a pretty young woman... if we look fat, we shed pounds..

Pretty girls are meant to end up with the man they can choose... i believe when u tink u look pretty and when u have options, den u shud choose carefully who u tink u will eventually end up with.. its like when u work so hard to look pretty, u would wan someone to find someone who really appreciate ur effort... if u can successfully work hard to look pretty, den u can successfully maintain a marriage that will become the envy of others..


Friday, November 20, 2009

Stomach wasnt feeling very well this morning, so i went to the ladies to let out a fart...

It was comical i tell u!~ The fart was let out as fast as it came... but what caught me giggling was how it sounded so much like an engine that wouldnt start....

I had that image of a really old mercedez and me trying to wind the engine but to no avail, and i totally tot the resemblance was a miracle.

Haha..... embarrassing facts aside, i am totally bulk up this week till my neck,

- Monday : it was a good day to run home early, after nights of partying for Ray's 21st birthday.. Heres to our Baby Cousin, a fully grown up man now!~

-Tues: i was down with a cold... a little sore on my throat. Boring MSM lecture as usual, there was meteor rain in my area that night, had intention to stay up and catch some stars, but the panadol blew me crazy, i concuss before i close my eye...

-Wednesday: Officially running a slight fever, din realise panadol make me drowsy, i stay fully awake till lecture starts, den fell in a nap so deep i was drooling.. woke up cos the lecturer was noisy, table was wet..... but i was satisfied..

-Thurs: its out with Sharon Besties as soon as work end, crazy day at work, my temperature was changing like a chameleon, it was hype one minute and slum the other... Sharon and i both bought a camisole that night, it was sexy yet vibrant.....

i am loving my leopard preeeeeennnnts camisole while Sharon Besties's camisole is so so so sweet.... (had noted to steal it from her someday)

Also bought a fur material bag that looks oh-so-posh, Sharon says its pretty too.. total Damage that night - a mere $27.... Thx Besties for the dinner.... i am champing my self-profess nickname as CHEAPO.... soon you will all learn, i can survive on $400 per month and still pamper myself and my bb..

-Friday: have promise SiAhPau i will go straight home after work today to chiong ICBS collection, its gonna be ready so ALL of you please stay tune for it... cos we look so pretty in those picture i NEED you to totally verify them (afterwhich you can accompany your tots with "Boomz" or "Shingz" )

-Saturday: it will be another photoshoot with BHP.. Phyl book a new studio and we cant wait to get the picture done up at BHP, $$$$$$$$$ i love $$$, more importantly, i love those customer that feedback how the top looks good on them, its like they appreciate how we done up the clothes and how it feels good on them just as it feels good on us....

-Sunday: Work... work.. work,.. my weekly 10hrs work at Far east plaza, companied by aimless nonsence from bf over Skype, a really good book i just bought on child abuse (Dear SiAhPau, i m finishing it.. so u have read it too!~) 7 days worth of The NewPaper ( thx to my pals at work who store them at one corner, i was able to update myself with 7 days worth of news).

Friday, November 13, 2009

Sigh!` Sigh!~

i tink i fail big time in this whole diet thingy i am doing with Sharon..

Sharon jia you Sharon jia you... den at the back i am breaking the rules, going against the diet.. and in short - puttin on weight... haha.. bb.. when u return and i have already turn into a bigger boobs yet bigger bigger ass, water-er tummy bag and triple chin.. will you still love me?

had a short chat with bb this morning, it was our morning routine, to chat when i woke up (which is also equilvalent to him going to bed).. i asked bb about his close friends over in Uk. There was the usual buddy Fendi as well as this Viet girl (which i had a fight with him about... ) . I ask bb if he will be hanging around with them this afternoon (friday) since they have no class. bb refuse me saying Fendi has friday mosque prayer so they will only be heading out after that...

As much as "viet" has cause a little misunderstanding between bb and me, i tot of askin him to hang out with her (otherwise poor bb's entire morning will be wasted doing nuttin in his 4 wall tiny room). However, bb told me it wasnt neccessary cos he din wan any chance of causing anotheer misunderstand btw me and him due to this matter. Needless to say, i was touched at his attempt to prevent any possible war, however, i also felt the pinch when he mentioned that.

Let me emphasize that bb is definitely not saying that out of sourness from the previous fight, but i felt a little affected.

"wasi being over-possesive toward bb? Had i deprive him of that little time he could possibly spent with his friend"

"had i been too harsh on him?"

"had i become the kind of gf i dun wan to be"

"does that means i dun trust bb"

the comforting thing is when i told bb about my concern, he put it in a way that signifies no matter how other sees us, if this is something i feel uncomfortable, he will make the effort to prevent me from feeling this way. It dawn upon me how he and i have been making the effort to do thing we can possibly do to prevent upsetting the other party.

one, for example, is how i refuse going to the club n drinking unneccessary, that was a strange amount of guilt initially cos i feel i was letting my friends down by refusing their invitation. However, the continual refusal makes me learn quite a few stuff. i din actually felt the need to be drinking myself crazily drunk or waking up with a terrible headache. On top of that, bb explanation was something that had me tinking. He was worried that i get drunk and he will not be around to take care of me.. or that i will end up taking care of others.

but there is s lee-way to everything, bb says i can drink if there is a reason to do so and when he is around..

i believe such compromisation that is accepted by both party willingly are usually the vital things in life that makes the relationship steady. Had bb be a heavy drinker himself, both of us will probably be wasted big time.

and in the most recent case, his attempt to prevent hanging out with the girl alone in order to prevent any misunderstanding was also a compromisation that both of us agree. You may call me selfish as a gf, but i had given the option to bb and he chose this, on top of that, he is comfortable hanging out with that girl as a group, so i dun see how much chance there will be for her to actually want to hang out with my boyfriend alone.

My advise for all the long distance relationship couple out there is simply to compromise to an extend that is acceptable for both party. This may not seem like an important thingg to particularly note, but trust me, (and my bf), it makes the relationship works..

bb.. is finally coming back soon.. tralaalalalalallalalal./!!~ wheeeeeee

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

did some self-pamperment when i bought this tint that had long caught my attention back when Benefit arrived in Singapore.

i had contemplate about getting it for a while now, it wasnt cheap at first consideration, almost S$40 for a mere tiny (nail polish) size bottle. However, this time it was different, i caught the same stuff at a travel size (about one lip gloss size) selling at 30% of the original price so i seize the opportunity to get it almost immediately.

"So whats the deal you ask me?" (Crap.. its the price la.. @#$@#$) but let me intro this "magic potion" to the ladies out there, this is one good thing you ought to consider if you are as lazy as me is that this is both a gloss as well as a blush. It is also recommended for those with sensitive skin, and the colour is rich yet natural on bare skin (i meant those without foundation base like me cos i am too lazy for it) In addition when u feel the sudden need to have a cheery lips u can simply apply the same tint on ur lip. The bottle is made to resemble a nail polish, which also meant there is a thin brush cap without a glass bottle.

To apply, simply dab or brush the liquid lightly on ur cheek before using ur fingers to run through your face, slowly massage ur face till you tink the solution has slowly dissolve into the skin, leaving it look blushed and healthy.

i pick this tint cos i am hardly a make up person, especially now that i even put a stop to my eyeliner.. i am giving my skin some time to breathe, but trust me when the bf returns i will tranform into a vain pot, with the inclusion of this new member in my collection, hopefuly those who see me by then has something positive to say. =)

omg omg omg.. cant wait!!~

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Lately there has been more of a wordy post than anything else.

I wasnt in a dressing mood and most pic were taken of others, which i will post, eventually... one fine day.

As of now, my ENTIRE life revolves around a tiny calendar, calculating day after day, hours after hours to his return. I image that period of his stay to be a fairy tale, with loads of fun, filled with love. 6 months of endurance, counting in pain.

At night, i spend hours staying online, reading our nonsensical conversation online, mostly talking about nothing, and sometime (okok... many times) professing our feelings to each other.

I will like to tell those couple who is separating for a while to consider long distance relationship as a major test of endurance. Although i admit i am not a winner in this test, i believe it is still worth the challenge cos ultimately, there are so much to learn from this experience and i can assure alot of u it wil benefit the relationship.

I use to wonder if it was worth the wait or if the wait will mean i have to stay with the same man forever. Now i know, waiting for him wasnt all about determining if this will mean the end of a wildful life, of chances to meet someone better. I wouldnt agree that this would mean if we ever break up one day, i have wasted one year of my life for nothing. Cos this wait was worthwhile, and this wait----- i build a kind of patient for the other half, the sort i never tot i could =)

Anyhow, half a year has gone and i am growing up, soon to be, i will nag about how i am officially an adult without much youth-gene. As of now, lets just said i should spend this time appreciating things around me that i have perhaps neglected while dating. I can also proudly says i mend some broken friendship, make some new friend, pick new hobbies, found new hangout, and sleep at different beds (for that i meant SiAhPau bed and Cuzzie's.. )

and BB, just come back soon, let me reintroduce the new world i have found, for u and me =)

Monday, November 02, 2009

life at this moment consist of confusion, inassurance, comtemplation and all nodes of "unsure" add together.

i can say alot of things are so unpredictable that the more you want it to happen, the least unlikely it will. I have chosen not to put too much effort into hoping, into reminding the other party how i will like to view things, rather, i will like to view things in their point of view, and adjust my mentality to that of the other.

this is not a sadist note of how terrible life is, this is also not something worth asking me about. Just note that from now even if i agree with u, it does not necessary meant i am supportive of you, its simply meant i will like to see you prove ur worthiness in my believing.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

excited!! Counting 40days plus plus plus to his return!

Haha... Not true la, let me rephrase - counting down 400 days to BB!!!!!

On a happier note, Dad is finally discharge this afternoon, the entire weekend of daze n hidden depressing moment will soon b over. Its time to appreciate the family n dad's contributions to the hse, probably spending more time in n out with the family n showering my nearly sister in law with some family ties... What a new resolution different frm my style

Sunday, October 25, 2009

My life is on a tumbling mess,

really thankful it's pick up whenever i feel i cant take it anymore,

will b back to post new entries as soon as i am up and kicking.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Lets get excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Here's the latest gift from bb, omg omg omg omg omg...

now dun ask me why i hadnt choose Iphone over Blackberry. i do know its cheaper to get Iphone over at UK but it excites me to know blackbery has this function where bb and i can do bb-msn, which is BB version of Msn. On top of that, since bb and i address each other by "bb", it makes sense that BB becomes our first choice of gift instead of the latter.

now it down to what i am getting for my bb for his birthday this sat. We have decided to officially shift his birthday for year 2009 to december when he returns. By then i promise a good celebration that leaves both of us missing each other more so when he returns to UK, it wont be long till he wants to see me again..!!

not going to announce what i had in mind, Pau, u better start planning with me..

Sunday, October 18, 2009

~i have always hated wearing bra, ever since puberty at age 10, i had to. When i was at her place, i refuse to sleep with a bra. That morning, she wakes me up and ask if i would want to go for a stroll with her, i reluctantly heads for her wardrobe and search for a bra, but then i change my mind.
That morning, we went for a stroll by the long-gang, with me in a sexy red spaghetti stripe i found in her wardrobe... and she was happy.

~i stand inside her red trolley, and smile to myself as she pushes the trolley. Then i will pause her and demand to come out of the trolley. We would flatten the trolley and with the handle in my left hand, and my tiny right hand in her wrinkle hand, we would walk to the market for grocery and to secretly indulge in her favourite "oyster-omelette" that the others wouldn't allow her to eat, including her doctor.

~she holds my hand and secretly tickles my palm, i would struggle and try to shake my tiny hand. She was strong, she smile at me while i scream and laugh and beg her to stop. Den she slowly stop her tickling, and we will continue to stroll hand in hand to her next appointment.

~she makes dumpling, every year, i wanted to help and beg her to allow me to contribute, she will be reluctant at first, den slowly give in to my crazy demand. She opens the drawer and took out a butter knife, that was how i started my culinary interest, chopping garlic and crying while peeling onion.

~i love to impress her, i hate to be at home, back then the letterbox was never locked, i would grab all the brochures from mummy before she throw them away. i would lay the colourful brochures on the table, carefully selecting those i tink will impress her. I will put it all in a blue envelope, the ones i force mummy to buy me. Den on a saturday, i will tk them all out and impress her, she would study them one by one, asking me how i came to my selection. i was proud of myself.

~she made wonderful blanket, and i wanted one just like my brother's. i demanded a pink one with ribbon, she did me one with minnie mouse, and another with satin cloth and pony. i haven use another blanket since.

~she heard me sing one day, and taught me to sing her favourite song in hokkien, i would sing it with her and we would dance together, back then we were never embarress.

~she flash her boob to me once, placing my tiny hand on her mechanical heart, she told me "never forgets my heartbeat" i never did

i want to join u, wherever u are now, it hurts, my heart hurts,