Wednesday, May 20, 2009

i dun need anything fanciful,

i dun need no money and cars,

i can use the bus i can walk miles and miles home,

all i ask for is to have u by my side, and nothing else ever matters.

i wanna hold those hand, all tough and vein,

i wanna loosen up those tight smile u've been faking all day

i wanna kiss ur forehead, tell u those unconditional words,

i wanna remind you how much i love you bb..

Each growing day marks one day down to having u away, i cant help but be reminded of those smile i will so missed,

yet i am never assured if u mean it, each time u look into my eye and smile and melt my heart.

i cant differentiate right from wrong, happy from sad, i cant tell if my bb has something to say yet absorb it all within himself for fear he will break my heart.

i tink this is hurting us both.. i really wish i was someone special to you, the one u make an exception and honestly shed those tear when u wan to and giggle when u see something funny.

i wanna tell u jokes, and if they aint funny, i wan u to tell me honestly.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

i gues i am going crazy loving someone..

wish i could give lesser.... to be jealous over even someone so dear makes myself puke at my own behaviour...

its just a pain in the ass knowing all the things u have done for him, and while u are at life toughest stages where u are losing everything, losing sleep, losing faith, losing appetite... it irks u to know how much the person u so wish had gone through this with you is shopping with his friend, his cousin.

its not who he ends up going out with, its him going out that sets u off like a mad old hag.

Its not who he ends up going out with, its how he always got himself busy with so many other things except to sit down and go through everything with you.

My sympton of pressure has been showing, i wish i had not put so much reliance on him, cos right now that load weighing me down double..


Thursday, May 07, 2009

This is a story of a girl who lives up the hill
this girl once dream of leaving the small town to find a man of her dream

Then one day the girl found, a precious rare find,
he was a guy from down the hill, a hunter well defined
he hunt his way up the forest every fortnightly,
till one day he saw her, her long skirt sashaying,
he offer his help and they became friend
what started out as friend eventually turned romance

one day the buy confess, his feelings for her,
he did so by curving the initial of that girl
the girl would never know, cos the feelings never show.
the guy din admit it, just more than friends or so

many years to come, one day the boy stop showing
the girl waited under the tree, same time, pondering
she din know why, yet she din want to ask
for reality was cruel, something just dun last.

and then i stop composing... some story comes with a sad ending, i learnt today some things aint always how fantasy turns out to be, something are made the way it is as it creates that illusion and encourage us to grow up.

yet when we do grow up, reality sink in, many things are done against our free will, irregardless of our feelings.

we begin to socialise into the human being we were made to be, conform to the values and norms that is attached to a group or role in which we participate in ( this are straight out from my sociology paper taken hrs ago)

i feel like a selfish person whenever i do things that upset others, yet i feel so sorry for myself if i live in a misery that ultimately declare my life.

i know letting go now proves a better future, yet i am holding on to this thing so tight, and this thing is feelin suffocated.

gosh,, i m messing up even my own life.. i cant seem to follow what my heart is thinking, thus the garbage words u see here..

get a life Kristal

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

7.40 pm


geez... no idea how i can get so excited over catching lizard, perhaps its cos i cant sleep at night tinking about them crawling all over me?

Cuz hse is like living in a jingle, except worst ( buts its super comfy u cant help it)

i had this awful video of both of us screaming and shouting at the GECKO we were meant to kill, seriously!~?~ Gecko, not lizard but GECKO.. that freakier kind of lizard that hops around and jump.. Which lizard jumps? Gecko lor..

Grrrrr. i m having goosebump all over tinking about the gecko.. its me alone at home now n i am waitin patiently for the cousin to bump her add back and struggle pushing the lizard trap back into the room i am bunking now.. cos i suspect there are more lizard there, except smarte..

The lizard at cuz room are dumb.. i deliberately place the trap there cos i saw the lizrd head peeking out earlier.. din knw it was as stupid as i tot.. it went straight on to the sticky pad..

so why isnt the gecko in my bunking room caught yet?

in any case i am thankful tonight sleep shall prove to be a better one cos its one enemy down.. though there are MORE to go..


Hopping around in Ah Pins Road!!! Bb's new attempt to cheer me up!!!! i am so in love!!!!

haha.. he will be sending me my dinner, specially delivered to my doorstep and i dun have to pay some more.. !! even monkey is happy.!!!

75.58 min into the game, Fletcher kena a red card and was out, V.Persie got a free kick and that was how Arsenal score 1 point... loser.... -.-"

My idol Giggs tried to talk referee (Roberto) into lighting the sentence but the referee says no..

77.29 into the game.. V.Persie got slap in the face and is bleeding from the mouth. He was replace by Vela...

Adebayor kick carrick in the leg, suppose to be a red card but never.... (referee Ka-you)

85,40 into the game, Park kena push and got a chance to score, Ronaldo kick the ball but it "almost" went in only.

87.28 into the game, Ronaldo kena kick in the chest, gets a chance to score, but it was super far from the goal post.

Game ends.. Man u 3- 1 Arsenal...

Final is Chelsea and Barcelona? (or at least that was what i heard)....
i wonder why i always end up being the bad person

L.T.A Rodman:
its my fault

L.T.A Rodman just sent you a nudge.

Selling top in the display pic and looking for part timers, please PM me. says:
i told u i understand le
u talking to ur bro
i neever say anything else what
u wan i just let u talk to him la
why say until like i am angry cos u are busy

L.T.A Rodman says:
cause u say ur cousin is back and tell me go telk to him
this sound like u are angry

Selling top in the display pic and looking for part timers, please PM me. says:
i admit i was a little
afterall u finish ur soccer till then we din have a chance to talk
u are either stuck with this or have that
i dunno how to stay uunderstanding

L.T.A Rodman says:
there is only one me

Selling top in the display pic and looking for part timers, please PM me. says:
i know/
i know there is only one u
just seem like u dun appreciate me
me accompany u to soccwer
ask u go to socce
watch man u
u got Ot we dun meet
all that and i m still me
everything is abt u
only one u
i wish i can split u up too
i wish u can split me up so in my life i dun revolve only around u
i wish i can leave u behind and play thing such as soccer too
its just tat
i only have u
yet u have many other people
i feel like i only owe that small part of u

L.T.A Rodman says:
once I have free time I call u
if can I go meet u
everything I did also for u
u dun like me to go soccer
I told u I can quit
I can dun plat
whatever u wan, I will try my very best to make it the best

Selling top in the display pic and looking for part timers, please PM me. says:
... .. u make me feel like a selfish person again

L.T.A Rodman says:
whenever we are together

Selling top in the display pic and looking for part timers, please PM me. says:
its ok
stop saying anything now
i dun wan to argue
i am sorry its all my falt

L.T.A Rodman says:
I try to make u happy always

Selling top in the display pic and looking for part timers, please PM me. says:
good nigh.. i am loggin off

L.T.A Rodman says:
u are not selfish
I know u wan to spend time with me!
I also wan

Selling top in the display pic and looking for part timers, please PM me. says:
i guess its better that i dun

L.T.A Rodman says:
dun say till I dun appreciate u
cause the fact is I DO

Selling top in the display pic and looking for part timers, please PM me. says:
i dun wan to argue anymore
u do

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I Blog is a mean-pok, Bb would have agree with me to give it "2-pinkie" slap.

The pictures above are taken when Pau, clar join me and we became the "pon-pon girls" for the night.. In the picture we are short of Macho, then u'll be able to tell who was "matched" to who.
Above all, that night was still memorable... glad the girls make perfect company, it was hell of a way to destress myself.. feeling way cool..

Today was a full day of anger.. however, i am really glad Bb has seen worst and was the kindest thing on earth to understand me. Unlike the past quarrel we had, nowadays we choose to forget things that will upset us. Bb did you realise that after the last time you chooses to give up cos of my temper, i have changed alot?

I am still adapting to this new me, which was agood change cos at times i feel less heavy. Perhaps i really dun wan to go through the same procedure twice and perhaps i just cannot afford to lose my Bb.. i am trying my best to stay alive and be that "some thing just aint worth being angry about" atitude.

Studying.. studying.. studying..

pretending to be studying... pretending to be studying...

My Bb says i can tk a rest after all the studies today.. he is super nice and helps me plan my schedule well.. Thanks Love.. dunno what to do without you,.., muackz.

Everyone is cancelling their trip overseas., this is really scary, as much as i wanna go to Thailand, i am worried about the condition there at this time, especially at times like this where the chaotic riot over Thaksin has just been settle and here comes another big issues.. i sure hope BKK is coping with this well.. on the other hand, i am not sure if Singapore is coping it well enough for us to leave the country. In any case, the main thing tat really matters now is to spend ample quality time with Bb before he leaves for Uk..

i am counting days yet not lookng forward to it.. everyday is a scary day.. i wish Bb wont leave yet wish Bb will leave.. argh.. the confusion inside..

Bb discuss me today publicizing his blog again, and i am fully supportive of it. i reckon since Bb is leaving for Uk soon, it will be good to make use of the blog to keep in contact with his friends and family. Only setback is that we probably wont have the private msg we use to have (as in still have now la)

Bb also admit that he cant mushy talk me like how we use to openly do,.. but i guess its all down to e-mail now.. Just really hope in his heart i have a special place. Cos there is a selfish part of me beneath it all that refuses to share Bb with anyone else. That included EVERYONE that is important to him. Cos i wan some pat of him ALL to myself.. even if its just a little.

Oh sigh.. this entry is makingg me all emotional, thinking about how life will be without him.. shall stop here..

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Watch the bf played soccer today, what was different from the other days was that i was accompanied by my angels (Pau and Clar).

We were the pon pon girls today, each of us cheering for a guy (clar exception). Bb says he played pretty badly but i was actually impressed, at least for one thing i know, i see him drilling the ball pretty much, this was unlucky the case as usually the position he took are blocked from his opponent and many times of supporting him play i was actually impressed this time he was at the right position and the goalkeeper seize the chance to pass him the ball.

Pau and Clar keep me really companied, usually i would have spend the time revising my paper, but this time however it was hard especially since the match was pretty exciting. I am glad to say the coordination of Lao Zhang, Lao wang, Lao Choo, Macho and Bb were great, it was a good passing the ball from one teammate to another.

initially i had doubts if Macho will feel left out, i guess it was a good move to impress the guys with a heartwarming name like "Rich" to introduce him.. Afterall, what could one not mention about someone with a name call Rich. The girls and i went out for a while during the guys' important match, heard from Macho that Bb almost had a collision with this guy. I believe my bb is a man of patience, so it must have been the other opponent underlying means that pisses my bb off.. Well, in my opinion, he deserve it. No one pisses my bb that badly except me, but bb will never hit me.. He wouldnt even sacrifice biting me whenever i sink my teeth into his flesh, which is super often cos i really love biting my bb.

Had a great lunch at Bb's aunty's hse and we played nintendo Wii.. only setback was when his Aunty mention about asking Bb to leave for Uk earlier, that would also means me seeing lesser of him for a longer time. From the end of my paper till June 20th, that will makes me spending less than a month time with Bb before he leaves for UK. Although, like many other relationship, this was a short Long-distance one. But i had all the regrets in the world for not being able to spend the time with him.

Nowadays i get really emotional, cos time is passing by really quickly and on one hand i really wish for the exam to finish soon, on the other hand i am fearing each passing day marking one day down before my bb leaves for a long trip.

I have send enough request to my important friend about keeping me company when bb is gone, afterall, it's only for one year, 365 days, 12 months and almost 48 weeks before i see him again. So whether its 10 days lesser or more, that difference wouldnt mind.

Enough emotions about his departure. I shall count my blessing and be thankful for yet another day of bb being with me. We slept in the afternoon at his room with his sister and her bf.. it was a tired afternoon and his bed is super comfy. Bb arm was around me and it din take me very long before i fell into a deep sleep, i knew it was deep cause after all this years, this was the first time (after a long time) that i drool while sleeping, i woke up with saliva on Bb arm (hehe)..

we also spend aimless hours on bed after we woke up talking about stupid jokes and playin on the psp.. afterwhich he went off to send his parent back from the auntie place.. it was a worthwhile labour day spend with my bb.

i miss you already.... wanna take more picture of us..