Thursday, December 31, 2009

This is mad chio, super norm, a trend that had started some time back, and lotsa others are doing the same, but who cares.


not much explanation needed, i knew nuts shit about Canon 450D anyway, but bbbbbbb promise to be patient and guide me step by step till i am a average photographer.

He has been on a few training over the years, had a portfolio date 1996, loads and loads of his huge ass grandfather-old lens and chrome, i saw this funny looking case with loads of photographers nonsence stuck at a corner of his room, den it brought back fond memories of those times he was so enthusiastic about photography, and before you can tell him more, WE ARE GETTING A CANON450D

It was a good deal and we are collecting it tmr, i promise to be fragile with it, take aimless photos, (swap with Pauline for her polaroid pic) and let bbbbb tk it back with him for 6 months, den join him in UK for more pic!!~
so pray God tht ICBS and BHP survive so we can cut down a load of $$$ on studios rental (not an issue with BHP since Benny has a great camera)

i cant wait!!~ bbbb and i are going shopping in town and here are our busy schedule till the day he flies.

oh did i mention i enjoy bumpping around his house, lazing on his sofa, chit-chatting with his mum and sisters and just disturbing him all day long?

bbbbb's gouty is long and he looks like a streetwalker, shall uploads pic and show u guys soon enuff~~


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

I am on cloud 9!!!~

If it were not for the half day work today i probably wouldnt be blogging, bbbbb and i are spending REAL quality time together, and thanks to the tiny surprise we r now ore comfortable to spend a tad more moolahs to make december a really good month.

my colleagues were right about calling me "sticky", i could very well acknowledge myself as "super glue" now. Happy happy happy, i am so delighted, so fond of him all over again.

i begin to see LDR in a different light, i reckon if bbbbb and i had to experience LDR a few more times, it would be like dating a new guy all over again.

Let me now bring u back to the moment he step out of the arrival hall, as well as the bloopers that comes along.

so finally comes 22nd Dec 2009, the midpoint between desperation and happiness, bbbbb was finally returning for the period and i just couldnt pick myself up well enuff to uphold that dignity i had inside to put on a smile, give me a tight hug and proceed.

That night, Dad was surprisely excited, he had reminded me times and times agian to set off early so i wont miss the flight. I had checked on for the flight information and was aware of the flight delay due to the transition. Then came the call from his Buddy about his stalled car along the highway, all wasnt going well and i was in tears.

Dad offfered to send me to the airport and send bbbb back home but i decline, cos we all know how difficult it is for me and him to express our fondness in front of our parents.

Grab my luggage ( i was staying over at his place throughout his extend in Singapore) and a heavy laptop and tugging with all might to brisk walk to the nearest Station, finally board the train and fell into a deep sleep cos i was so exhausted from all the anxiety today. Regret to say bbbb flight arrive before i could make it, but that kind lad shop around the terminal and waited for me to arrive to do our formal meetup.

i finally reached the arrival hall and caught a glimpse of his back, waiting for his luggage and belonging, we chat a little on the phone and he turn his back, den i saw his frail body, lost so much weight, and his white teethy smile, sorry if any of you are disgusting by this post, but i stare at his smile for a while and my mind wander back to the times we just got together, he is definitely cuter now.

When we finally meet, i let go of my belonging and hugged him super tight, we spend the next 5 min of so talking while i was in his arms, he was finally back and no amount of embarressing can stop me from kissin him in public and saying stuff i was so restricted to say, bbbbbbbbb i miss you soooo much.... welcome back.

bbbbbb took out a very big teddy and passed it to me, Bertie (the name that was given to our teddy) had a passport SIMILAR to that in UK, he had a proper DOB, place of origin as well as some minor details, the bear was born the date bbbbb and i got together=)

bbbbbb also bought some gift for my friends who took care of me, the bottomline is i had ALOT of present, bbbb 's mummy bought me lots of stuff on her recent trip to Hong Kong too,.. i was a super happy girl. Towards the night bbbb finally pass me my BBB8520, fully protected with a "girly-pink" phone cover, it was also loaded with lotsa of my favourite music, some of the video i had commented was good to keep, some mp3 and a customise desktop background. bbbb had done up all things nice about the phone so all i really had to do was to use them!!!~

i felt this mad rush to stop work today and see bbbbbb at the entrance again, he had fetch me to work this morning, ran in the rain to get me Mac breakfast, we shall be heading for our rendevouz (haha.. more like a chalet abd BBQ) with the rest of his mates later, after bbbb collect his "earnings", we will also be heading down to town and bbbb shall finally visit ION orchard, 313 building, Orchard Central, Kallang Leisure Park, Marina Barrage and all things nice that he had miss this 6 months.

Till then, more updates with pic, love you all, and love my bbbbbb the most =)


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

You make bunny cry!!~

Yeah you did, you totally did..

-one night of unrest

-7 hrs of anxiety

-182 days of misses

-16 months of love

ranting ranting, i got this feeling if i become older i might as well sit on a rocking chair and blog, the IT savvy Granny in da hse..

scream, shout, ran around town naked! i feel all this is better than waiting...........


Monday, December 21, 2009

I am in a serious dilemma, that of joy, yet filled with fear.
The clock is tickling too slow, yet i cannot complain, cos in a couple of hrs, i will be wishing it would tick slower.

My heart is beating twice as fast, yes i admit- i am scared.
I might sound so confident, but afterall, this is the first i can touch this imaginary image stuck on my mind for the past 6 month.

Running those finger through his stubby face, planting a sweet and soft kiss.
My mind is running wild, no sexual tots, so all of you please behave!~

We are gonna spend so much time together, making a closure to year 2009 a fruitful one, we will leave footprints on places in Singapore that we, as singaporean probably wont touch. He has requested i treat him like a tourist, so we will be camping out in the wild, alongside doing things i dreamt of doing since so long ago.

It is at this point that my senses woke up, alerting me times and times again the usual scent is returning, the homely scent he had on his collar bone. The same pair of hand that once took mine and since, never let go..

i m going on like a horror novel from King Stephen, but no,
this is a mix anxiety i had inside, the danger of him returning back too soon freak me out big time. As of now, i dun wish to carry too high hopes, cos afterall he will only be around for 2 weeks and i shouldnt be selfish and share this piece of delicious cake to those who wants it


Friday, December 18, 2009

Thursday, December 17, 2009

So there was this day where Besties and i were hopping around town and off we went to ION Orchard, i can now profoundly annouce New Look is the best place to try on clothes, snap picture of each other and still feel good about it. These pictures were taken EONs ago but i was too lazy to blog about them. Sigh!!~ Looking at this pic makes me miss my side parting sooooooooo much, gimme back!!~

Here's Sharon all grown up, our 9th year of friendship and she is growing taller, skinnier and fairer... Most irritating of all, she cant seem to stop loving heels, so i feel like a dwarf each time i am out with her

Here's my hot favourite piece from New Look. Am loving Gems and glittery details on dress, especially spreading around the cheat area. The typical "V" shape form on the dress gives the body a slimmer contour, so despite the dress being balloon-bottom whatsoever, the empahsis remains on how glamourous once look.

If you may notce, i have brilliantly match this glittery top with my current beau- a Diamante gold pump from Pretty Fit. And i got it at a huge discount *CONTENTED*

i want those fringeless days to come back sooner..!!~

--------------------- ANOTHER DAY AT ION ORCHARD---------------------
A day out with Jann to pass her the clothes she bought from BlackHairpins as well we get some inspiration together for wat to wear this joyous Season.

First stop is Ion Orchard New Look, the new favourite of mine since the staff are superbly friendly and the changing room are so spacious.

Both of us chose things we usually wear, and do a swop. It more like exchanging clothes and style tips. i learnt that day denim shirt makes very good casual outfit. And to think of it carefully, denim shirt are probably the only stuff one could wear without attracting the HR's attention in terms of dress code.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

i am not updating my entries, backdated several events that i wanna mark it down, yet it seems blogging just isnt the top on my priority.

I wanna earn enough money to spare some for CNY clothing. i wanna pay school fees and get it over and done with, i need to work harder on BlackHairpins and claim my share of profit now that we have some to spare Phyllis.

As for itchyybackside, the cake is now share among a few of us, good things is that Pau can get all the extra help she so needs, and she can do it at her free time, any time.

I wanna disappear from everyone who knows me during this period, enjoy a very short holiday with bbbbbbb............. no disturbance, nothing in mind. Den when he fly off, i wanna spend the last 6 months of being independant doing something fruitful.

I wanna move out of the house and settle down in a quiet place to prepare for the exam soon, i wanna score and not regret paying so much $$ for nuttin.

I wan to be known, in the money market, to assist people with what little knowledge about fashion i have, and seek their support to help me through this tough time in life.

There are soo many things i wan in life, and i am breaking them down slowly, disgesting them, applying them, making them happen....

bbbbbbbb says i change during this time he went away, its like the same Kristal with some added essence, i agree with him... i am the new Kristal = the same old Kristal with added essence..

i am not taking in details that prove useless in life, such comment that means sarcasm, are not taken seriously, although many times it irks me so much i wanna slap the person who said them cos they dunno how much it irritates me.

i can feel a transition i am undergoing again, the last time this feelings comes i went from a emo girl into a chirpy one.. lets pray hard this time its way better.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Bro's Solemnisation

One wedding dinner down, it was a super great night and yup, we have an official member now, Mrs Chng... Welcome..

I enjoyed the night, feel the importance, felt bro's joy, and needless to say this responsiblilty is mine now to take over.

Bro and sister-in-law talk to me about bbbbb tooo... most of my conversatio with everyone, i try to include him into the discussion, and invited bro to join me on my expedition to find bbbb during his graduation in 2010.

But my relationship is a complicated one and bbb never tot of marriage yet.
The bouquet was thrown, i deliberately refuse to accept the handover, cos this is a responsible too big to handle and i m not in the correct position to tk it yet.

I wish Bro and my new sister-in-law a happy marriage, and we look forward to having you with the family.

Bro says he is saving a place for his official wedding dinner for bbbbb, i hope he felt the joy too and realise how much he matters to me.. but not adding too much pressure to what he says i have already added on to him...

feeling down, could be the alcohol i drown myself into.... better log off...


Monday, December 07, 2009

Who is Pauline Kang?

Who is Pauline Kang?

i adopted SiAhPau 2 years back, even though she was already her mum's most precious, it was solely a temporary responsibility that later escalate into a friendship so close.
Pau has seen me through some failed relationship and with her we talk like no others, there were lots of times we stay up through the night, talking and gigglingg at funny tales we have heard. There were also tears, i put up at Pau's hse the first night bb went to uk, i cried through the night and Pau was there to keep me company.
The first time Pau experience a bad breakup, it wasnt me who was there for her, but thereafter, i make sure she had someone taking turn to keep her company. We went for a jog around her neighbourhood, den smuggle alcohol up her hse, hid it in one corner, den giggle and drink and repeat the process.
Though Pau can be really really hard-headed at times, she bothers to absorb wat was said, so i make sure i nag and nag till she realise wat to do...
I wont say i m that noble cos there are loads of times i require Pau's help too.
this entry is getting boring, just wanna conclude that she is part of the Kwa/Chng/Ding/Kang team now and we welcome her..


Sunday, December 06, 2009

Friday, December 04, 2009

Blog for 6 years now

6 years have past since i started blogging, with the help of "JeRk" whom first tot me how to login.

JeRk and i are now good friends that update each other on our lives every yearly.
I cant believe how self-infactuated i am back when i was 16, reading the entries, i could have luff my ass off ay my own silliness and also feel really embarress.
embarress i could actually assume i was that attractive and note down each and every time a guy was staring into me. I had entries that beg God to make me lose weight, and entries of how i wasnt able to wear that pair of size XL beach shorts. I was a very plump butch than, the kind that acts like a man but actually wanted to be pretty like her best friends.

it has since been a history, and i did eventually lose weight, even though not alot.

There was also entries on my desparation to escape May, which was the month i hated Read the entry here

i realise that guilt and anger hasnt actually subside.. but Grandma would have been less worried about me now, cos i have bb... and i
actually brought him to visit Grandma's tomb few months into our relationship..

i know reading those entries only reminds me wat a bad person i use to be, but one shoud always look forward, its from all this mistake that i learnt.

and i still miss you Grandma

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Unjustified unjustified...

i am feeling so make use of.
This feeling sucks, sometimes i wonder, why go through all this trouble where all i got in the end was a mere sum of money that, after paying school fees, does not allow room for lunch and dinner.

At that point, when i was being point finger at, the blame was on me, why hadnt i speak up? How could i? I was just a temporary, one who gets utilised to the fullest for the tiniest sum of salary.

I knew the blame was on me and i accepted that, steadily, but what really hurts was how this had all attribute to a blame solely on my part. While i had to do my job scope, the 3 most important person i was assign to, was not there.

One was on holiday, one was too sick to attend and the last one, left me alone to bleed. She did nuttin to offer her help, i did ask for help, i really did. But there wasnt enough going that had make it all smooth.

I admit i was really strong last week, stronger that i had tot, i was down with a fever, sore throat, i was coughing so much it hurts, i was "suppose" to be on medical leave, yet i was here, to make end meets.

I wanted to devote the time to doing my own stuff, really, if i could, it would has to be me above all else, but there wasnt a chance, i came, and along came all the otheer responsiblity that was threw on me, and i was to figure a way out for myself, lost and deillusionised.

the usual hours that permits me to finish my stuff was 9, yet i stayed on after that just to complete my stuff. Days after days i stayed longer and longer, even pending tots of skipping lecture, which i later put off cos each lesson cos me enough to work here for 2 days.

i finish it all in the end, but someone has to come up with new decision to alter watever was already fixed, and in the end, i had to re-do them all.. just cos i wasnt doing it for myself, i was doing it for them all.

Now that things are back to normal and it was time to submit the report. Fingers started pointing and they seems like arrow, pintpoint straight at me, i had done this i forget to do that. Everything voice down to an error on my part.

i wonder if they had stop to tink for once, that while they choose to rest at home, eat good food, i was struggle to make ends meet, to produce something with as little information as i was given. Do they also realise, if i had been given all the other task to do on top of wat was rightfully my duty, i would be able to resume work as per normal, get the meagre pay i was offer, and just allow me to rest at home and nest my fever. Den maybe nuttin would have happen, i would recover within days and not carry this bad cough with me for 4 weeks and counting.

if only, i had taken the advice and consult a doctor to get my medical certificate, i wouldnt have to take this responsibility, and get blame for something which i had done wrongly, but could have been avoided if i wasnt left alone to do other stuff instead of my stuff.

unjustified, yet i couldnt raise my opinion, i could only nod in silence while they tell me my mistake, but i know them all, i really do, just that the situation din allow me to do them correct. This is not a mistake, it was a misfortune.

Funnily, the job i had been looking forward to has now loses its appeal, cos i somehow the name "scapegoat" seems to come along with it.

hate it.... really down now.... unjustified