Friday, October 31, 2008

i am going to sing this very very stupid song!! "i should be so lucky, lucky lucky, lucky!!"

my dearest most precious darling is finally comin back...

all those vomit blood times of missing him, just cant take another seconds.

yay yay yay

*dance and hop around the floor*

i am going to treat everyone i know with candy, like its the happiest day on earth!! Though it actually marks Halloween

my silly monster is back for Halloween!!~

Friday, October 24, 2008

All i can say is-

i miss you alot
Tomorrow is no TGIF. i am alone, am not in the mood to hang out with anyone.

7 days to your return, make that come quicker

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Stuck in whatever was left of my precious room,
my mind was flooded with funny images of you Sweets.
Our silly times spend at some random cafe doin practically nuttin,
those redundant walk from one end of the esplanade to another
You tickling the under of my tiny palm, and me getting pricked by ur stubby moustache
Though its only been less than 24 hrs since you left for Medan, i am missing you like crazy.
Thanks for the continous msg-es, and those warmth your family shown me.
But things are different, as soon as you are gone, everything changed.
Even a little setback at home will send me trembling with fears.
I need you Baby,
but i must be stronger, will love for my Baby to study abroad knowing someone dear is waiting at home.
i m feeling cold, cold with loneliness, the temperature at home was good, nuttin was really wrong,
but without you, everythng feels so wrong.
Sweets, you know wat? even your silly monster mask picture taken in Toy'R'Us makes me laugh now. i finally understnad why u got them develope.
so completely in love with you.. Good night Baby,

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Make my sweet upset today.
damn screwed, wicked me. I really hate myself.
i dunno how i can be this evil sometimes, and it always takes a tad too long to realise.. by then he would have been affected.
*so wanna bang my head against the wall, dig my lung out and tell him i am sorry*
i dunno how i can claim i cherish our times together and yet still have the cheek to make him upset. Failed!!!!~ i din push myself hard enough to make this thing works.
Its till Sweet msg me that he had this similar feeling of being ignored, that i realise he manage to pull through without affecting me and yet i totally drag him into this silly mess i have created.
How can i say sorry?
How can i rewind waht has been done?
Sweets is my everything, i dunno how i can be so evil to do this to him. i will never do that to my love one.
extremely sorry, never wanna lose you baby.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

As it seems like a decade and this current address and webbie was dedicated to the very special love one.

Had great fun today, i love Sweets family. Never felt so valued and so appreciated. The sincerity can be verified from those honest stares, those heartwarming glance, those thoughful invitation to eat, the feeling of being loved. Just like those truly appreciated love i received from Sweets.

We made our way down to Orchard Hotel today to get Sweet's uni registration done. Silly Sweet was as thoughtful as usual to hail a cab instead on saving on the transport fees in order not to get me drench in the rain. While at Orchard Hotel, i try to make myself useful by suggesting question Sweets could consult from the assistants there. I could tell he was a always-on-the-go person, honest and down-to-earth. The question he has shows how he was prepared for his future, and this in turns gives me the security i never thought i could feel.

Sweet was always putting me before himself. I had been immersing myself into this world that was slightly more wonderful than a fairy land. The setback now had only been those time when he accidentely blurt out his real feelings. Though according to him he is enjoying himself "sacrificing" himself and "sufferring" for me. Deep down inside anyone will realise such "enjoyment" are temporarily. In no time as a relationship tks another step, things will take a wrong turn and he might in turn regret all these sacrification he takes or all those sufferring he has been undergoing. I dun belive in one gaining while another suffering. i was us to enjoy and suffer together Sweets.

For you i change this blog address which has never change since i first started blogging back in 2003. i wan us as a whole new relationship, i wan it just btw u and me. I;ve learnt things do not need others' acknowledgement. In you i see that light that had never shone on me.

All in all, i am more than glad he chose me. The journey ahead is gonna be tough, i wanna undergo this transformation now that prepares me to commit in this relationship cos i swear to God he is the first guy i finally wanted and decided i wanna spend my life with.

Such a irony i dated the Man for 2 whole years, and 5 years ago we tried dating for 3 months, and all this time i had never ever let my mind wonder off to our future. Dad had preach into me how to keep a relationship strong, how i shud give in when the Man's dad doubted my intention in the relationship. I had always question myself when i hear Cuz talking abt her future with Squidhead.

i can feel it now, how your mind wander into the bright future when u are assured of your spouse. It such a wonderfully light feeling to let ur mind go astray, imagining those future 2 person can share. Sometimes i will reminise abt those awkward moments we had, those clumsy things we do, and some "secrets" we share.

unlike any other times, this time i wanna hold his hand, stronger, and work double hard to keep him around me.