Monday, December 15, 2003

back from cruise and camp mumbo
back from work
back from all my hardship
today is tiring, i dunhave much on my mind.
Cruise is fn, shopping is even fun, spending so much money, many of the things i bought i felt worth and valuable, especially since it is so cheap
i bought Ralph Lauren perfume, prob my most preciuous procession this time.realli nuttin to sae, maybe i think of JeRk alot lately
crazy kristal

Sunday, December 07, 2003

i'll leaving singapore to cruise at 3, today is fine, suppose to meet my darling cuz to jog, but that silly gal slept real late yesterday. the feeling of getting back and meeting all my friend is so cool!~ me and cuz ate long john together last nite and we chatted. then at nite me went for band meeting at the usual oid deck 424, suddenly i felt my usefulness there last nite, i saw Sylvia, ghee, kind of miss her abit, well, we still joke, and tease, what else can you find in us, we are just the us since sec 1, everyone grow up, i do not feel the passion for any nonsence reagrding luv nowadays, perhaps a person interest does change.However, my interest for Hello Kitty does not change, yesterday my cuz gave me her stuff, those her dad gave her , Hello Kitty imported from japan, mummy say it was nuttin cos it was second-hand, however, i knew i could feel the luv within, my cuz, she kept thinking i was mad ather, but no i was not, my aim was to get even cl;oser to her, and towards Ah girl Jie Jie, cos i kinda think i owe her sumthin, sum times i blame myself cos i still make such stupid mistake at this age.
Working is fine, all of a sudden, JeRk and i kept in touch again, BoBO keep wanting to kno if we could remain the way we are in the past, seem so near yet so far, i never even wanna thin of it, Ismail came to find me that day, it was plan but i dun think i was looking forward to this days, he say he wanna tok, i sae i was busy, he refuse to tell me what it was regarding, i just left, i couldn't stand the way he put his sulking face, i think it makes me boil.To think i was so concern in the past, now when i think back, i amsure i only had his laughter in my heart, never his sorrow face, i dun evn think i like him anymore, to think i would be doing all this. i think if i really MUST have a feeling, perhaps it Jerk, but i dun think we can ever make it, just wanna concentrate on sumthin else, perhaps to slim down before my 17 birthdae

Thursday, December 04, 2003

today is the sixth day of my working life at john's place, there definitely days which i noe i can break down and cry, but despite so that i did, i did it in my heart, working life is selfish, everyone hardly do anything, we sit on chair and get fat, i am starting to worry about my butt, haha, bigjoke sia, i fear sitting too long on the com will worsen my vision and flatten my butt, i'm gonna look like a old haggard. Went out with :Pat, sui lan, gale and yiling yesterday, the day could be describe as fabulous, we chit chat, we revealed, TOTALLY revealed all about us these damn four years apart, i could sense Suilan trying hard to recall about our conversation, i coukd also feel that she is not as happy as we are, i do hope that she will in the next outing, we ate at fish & co, it was deicious, but the bill is even 'delicious', $76.55!!!!!!!~
we estimate the bill and brought only the required amount, whu would have know the service charge and GST add up to ten buck, a hole in the pocket. i had to run to nearest ATM machine to draw money, to my horror, i had less than 70 bucks inside, so i put 50 buck out, luckily, they had all fork out money to about 52, now that i recall, i think Sui lan didnot pay for the drink we share, but that;s definitely fine, the eating period is fun, the extra cash is all worth it. then we took pic, really a lot of pic, they brought me to the hotel i thought i cukd neva enter- Fullerton hotel, i always thout we cant enter, it look so high class, when we reach, one skool was havung their prom, their dress is nice, i totally drench and detest the thiought that our skool prom is in the skool hal, worst! we might not even have one!~
then we took pic at boat quay, we walk along clark quay and guess what, sum girls actually wanted us to enter the pub, all of a sudden i feel ever so adultish. we walk along the bridge near VCH, everything was fun, i look for ward to another of these outin.
i wrote jerk a e-mail in regards to his diary entry, now then he wanna get close to me, i dunno how i feel.
bobo keep pestering me, if only he is a nice guy, i would want to be the lucky one!~
as for ismail, he call me up unexpectedly, and he wanted to meet me tomorrow, i think he wan to pass me back all my stuff, dunno lah, i still recall the happy times together, and i seriously consider him my ex-boyfriend, only one is precise
well then , i look forward to catching movie with JeRk, to go out with Vivien and Sharon, i hope they do forgive mefor my sudden disappearance, i miss them too

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

since the end of my o level, i guess i've just been lazing aroumd, had a chalet at arena few days back, cool its Xinyi birthdae, ton thru the whole nite, we (essey, Samuel Jian ji Jian chong, Xinyi, cynthia all chat loh) then later Zhiwei darren li juan got join us loh, we tok alot, about everthingthat happen all this while, about bitches, about crush, about my bad experience, about Sharon, about all thinsgs, i learbt alot of thing, Darren and Essey did not oppose me cos they are in the same class as Ismail, they were all friendly. We ate pizza, we sang karaeoke, we watch movie, we drank alcohol, beer... all this...... haha, so fun. so much seems to happen, i am so girly, went orchard today, boughtcute scostap, beads, chain, best if all, jap amulet. Me, Sharon, Sharon's god mei, Denise, we took pic, so cool. i am avoiding Bobo now, yuan lai he no a gud guy, lucky i clever enough to reject him the first time he propose. now i hear li juan sae he actually propose to Li juan before, Lijuan sae he can find beter gal, bobo say he will wait forever but he propose to another gal in less than a week. What a absolute jerk. he kept smsing me this days, i feel that he is such a psycho, better avoid. Samuel say he actually F.F Victoria, that simply puts me off, i feel so disgusted....... what a man.his ex stead in clude Priscellia. target include Kai XIn Li Juan all this....... hehe
kRistal neva meant to meet a real true guy one lah.
Zihao start toking online, at least now that i told him i dun lyke him too......... hehe, its really fun to reject sum one
btw, Jodie tok to me that day at her house party , seem likes i am goin on the right track...... lookin forward to success.
Vivien and i had sum trouble, seem like she told her mum sum thin she shouldn't have and got me and my mum in to trouble, our reputation is totally ruin, i feel so sorry for mummy. i dun blame Vivien , end of year liao, camp Mumbo around the corner, this year i just join halfway, what a blessing! i am gonna get involve in the OLIP alone, Sharon will be at Malaysia. haiz, see loh, than after which i going to band camp loh, i dun wanna get too involve in the band, my commitment are not too ful haha

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

its been a really long itme since i put my buttock down and concetrate on writing my heart out........ so much had happen, frankly, the only person i miss so badly will have to be Vivien, i miss cuz and i really wana see her soon, not that i am lesbain or sumthing, just that i always feels better with her around.
O level is a tedious thing, its the self controlling thing we have to contain within ourselves, long time since i check up mails, saw sum that JeRK wrote, of which 1 refers to the fact that he no longer feel the same for me. i, in fact , surprising, dun feel a thing, perhaps they were all riite about me falling in and out of this luv thingy far too easily, well........ but whu really cares? what do i have to hold back the person i wan.
every year, a few guys came across my life, lesser and lesser each time, i noe i am becoming uglier and fatter. i dun even hold that luv position in my heart that high any more, i guess people do grow fast.
i realise too that my cpncern are now place highly on my family, cousin and of course my ever flowong friends. SHaron and i hardly quarrl this days, i guess we are alll trying our very to see each other that much nowadays, we alll noe that life after o level is gonna beso much diferent than before. we'll all go our ways, i noe i will miss them....... Bobo, a guy i knew from Jannity, he was at first a guy, to me, rather cool and has his chavinism( sorry ah...... spelling very bad- okok i use egolistic) but since he start msg me too much,...... i feel rather frastuated, probably because i am neva use to have so much sms a day, and i dun enjoy repkying sms, call me a moey minded, i jus dun enjoy wasting my parents money on sms, he mind me a lot.he is a really gud guy, the kind that is very caring for everyone, a good brother to me and i guess thats all......... i dunno how i may feel in near future, but rite now, i pray for damn gud result for me os......

Friday, October 17, 2003

what the heck? whtat exactly is wrong with me? i wonder where my sense of urgency is, i just cant concentrate, i need to ask questions, but in class, i jus wanna go home, what s things lidat? i realli wanna go SAJC, haiz, i can feel my hopes and determination constantly decreasing and leaving me. this few dyas just seems fun however, on 15/10 which is my o level practical, haha, what a big joke, i dun think i can score or rather depend on it to score, my so call manageable bio prac turn out to be so screw up! benedict, biuret, argh!
big joke! but the nite was reallyfun, it was Cynthia's birthday and she organise the KTV party at Arena country club, everything under my name, i neva felt and important, i sign and handle everything all by myself, haha, i feel so important, perhaps this is what i always like, to feel proud and cofident of myself in all my actions, if only i felt the same way liyke this to me o. we sing, the guy were the same, the ever on-going poker cards game.i think i can name all of them. lets see, kristal, sharon, Cynthis, Denise (a pretty reluctant invitation), Pekkee, Xinyi, jia hui, Lijuan(sick that day), Caiyun(in that shoe i was craving for, pink shirt and 3/4 pants, nice combination), constance, Mabel (poor thing, glad she enjoy herself, Adawiyah (cool top with shawl on neck, 3/4 jean, belly shown nd esp cool with her snow cap and that india thingy on her head!), jun min, Jian ji, Bruno, Weeleong, Teck chee, Jackson, Eugene, Jain chong, Yong kang, Zhiwei. i an remember all this so far. Denise worn the white spaghet which is nice, but spoil it with her 3/4 pant, which look a it to not-hipster, me and dear worn our MAMbo tee, Ada was so jealous and we worn beach pants. Cynthis was in her two piece spaghet, Pekkee esp beauty in her belly shown op and long pants. We played true or daere, i was sabotage tp tk pic with teck chee in our dance pose, worst of all, i slip thru my mouth and out of nuttin, i admit i lyke Xavier, a gal. haha
the day ended real fun, now everyone wanna book the room.
i chatted with Bobo this days, at first thought he fall for me, lucky he reveal he had a gal, i dun really wanna get involve in all this thingy noe. JeRk smstoo, asking me how i am, we sms chat a while, i thinki will updtae again, till then..

Friday, October 10, 2003

haha...... its been a long time since i have updated this thingy, the thot of JeRk makes me feel sick day by day, jus another jerk in my life, haha, that is definitely not a prob, i got 23 L1r5 and 17 L1R4, it was bad, i have lose the chance to go for my precious three months course, haiz, but i do encourage myself very well. i Wana make it to SAJC (st andrew junior college)
went for NYJC tok in orchard that day, it was damn boring at first, not too bad later.....
today is the last day of school, we chatted alot, took many pix and sign names everywhere,i am gonna miz this pigs haha!
chatted with Wee leong yesterday, now that everyone kind of think me and him together..... haha what a joke, i do not denied the fact that i do have a crush on him, perhaps justa small one...... hehe
Sharon has make me feel kinda irritated this days, i told her just now that she shd jus voice out if she isn't happy about aything, anyway thats what i wanted
be frank and we'll all change
jian chong and Christine together, what a damn lousy match! Christine is such flirty bitch and jain chong is sucha desperado
haha........... whu cares? let them play and get hurt then they know how to regret....... Weeleong wanted to tell Kexin he like her, but i advice him not to cos o level is round the corner
teck chee like Hui Jie, he finally makes his first move, sumtimes guys can be so slow! haha, i guess that bookworm finally gotta achievement yah?
Yilong send a dedication over on 98.7 fm to Chong Yao long, that ex fellow, i do not denied that fact that he is good lokking , but too bad another playboy. Yiling is dying for him, and she got rejected as she requested for a patch.
they are all worried abt me, me hadn't gotta any attraction, haha, what's wrong? haha dun worry ..... me dun think i can be a butch one........
well...... i guess thats all for now
short and sweet...... lub kris

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

counting down one day to the end of my prelim, today is a math paper2, it was really difficult loh,hardly any chance of passing liao...... went to denise hse tody, brought heinz bean, gyoza, along..... we cook alot, eat a lot. kimchi soup, kimchi, fried noodle, bakebean with hotdog..... so damn full, and drank fruit tree apple with aloe vera, like the world was ours, tomorrow is bio chem MCQ paper, after that i wan to go shooping, to bugis to buy stationeries, noce jap one, o level in a month time, but still feel lke shopping, haha, wonder how i score for my prelim, any chance of going to JC? band schdule is forward, teacher die die oso wan to make me go band, only Sylvia manage to impress them, jealous is jealous, but what to do, my mind not as fast, not as pretty as her... haha, and anyway, she is close freind, nuttin to be jealous ofm
, only proud of,..
last sat went to church lantern festival, Maureen sing in the choir, the entire event was success, but the pastor toking part was well, gud but i must admit i was a bit impatient, seen sum case of people whu later believe in christianity. He was abit forcing kind, making people put up their hand if they chose to belev in christianity, i didn;t. haha, spoke to Reina, after so long, saw Yvonne;s baby, Joshua, he is so cute, looks like john alot...... the guy whu i noe as maureen ex schmate was cute, his frist time too
nuttin happen.,......... well. will update again,,,,,,,,,,,

Friday, September 19, 2003

today is a/c exam, this prelim has pin me down my schdule, a/c kind of mark the end of prelim, other is the MCQs. i am going to work hard for my o level comin soon. Happy to say, i have not thought of JeRk, more and more everyday, he just faded a mile, i dun have very gud memory, especially for faces, everyone else noes, haha, a gud cos i never have to keep thiniking of them after a while. Saw Ismail in the exam hall, haha, i hav absolutely no feeling liao, but i do realise his birthday is coming, dunno if i shd do sumthim about it. By the way, yesterday is Grace, today i brought cake to share with her, pikkuan, cynthia, sharon, denise. later ina while i am going to shopping with dear, long time since we hang out together, actually denise is coming along too, haha, but she got ballet, anyway its gud cos i can have sum time with my dear,... saw Chase (Zhi liang) on the bus, we chat , i was shock to learn that he took up syllabus b for chinese, cant blame him cos he and chinese never had fate haha, he told me about his compo with is full of english plus chinese, that fellow.... haha, but really funny lah.! if oly he had the determination to jia you, he say he is going home to study geography, me, on the other hand think i deserve a break, haha, but dun spend too much money kris............. haha

Friday, September 12, 2003

went to vivien hse todae, study a/c, in the morning, went jogging, acrually wanted mummy to join me, but she chose sleeping over jog. jogging in the morning is weird, the people are old, but the after feeling is great, ifeel so light, like a mission accomplish. i brought necklace to Vivien, it is for her birthday, dun think i can meet her on that dae cos i am having prelim, have to persevere now cos happiness comes later. check JeRk diary todae, i check everydae, he did not update, acc to him, he lent it to sum one else. have the urge to go shopping, to be free, but i assume now, studying and going to cuz place is satifying enough. i dun have the motivation, anyway the idea of jogging was to win Sharon. that day wheni wrote her a letter, we hug, i hug Denise to, oops, her hug is very comfortable, a kind of everything-is-fine feeling, definitely not a love kind of feeling, she is a girl mind you. i just feel her hug can ease me of my tense. As for Sharon, i do admit i dun have the similar feeling for her hug, but it was an assurance that our friendship is still strong, watch "BRING IT ON" vcd with cuz today, the show is nice, very realistic, and the ending was even realistic, no happy ending like they make it to the top, instead, they got second in the cheer compeition but is still happy, cos unity counts. During the national day cheering competition this year, our class was really lame at first, no one had the motivation to strive for a gud result, i dunno why i had the feeling to do so, it was about time to go to slp, and i had this feeling to bring hip hop into the cheer, i find the idea imply fresh and new. When the rehearsal starts, no one wan or attempt to start, i was mad at first, then i had this greater urge to make th first move, i let my heart boils while i ate my lunch. and the nxt thing u noe, i dash into the classroom and push table and chairs to create space for rehearsal, every one ont he classroom look at me as if i was sum kind of a freak, i couldn't careless, i keep doing it and i noe by then i had motivate sum somehow interested ones to join me, within a few min we did it, the guys( junming, huiquan, jianji and others) were playing cards, i mention nuttin and leave their space aside, making them feel weird themselve. i brought my music stand and place them in the front, i got Denise to write the cheer on a vanguard i brought, people ask me what to do, i ask them for opinion, i got Samuel to do the drumbeat with me, he rejected sum he find difficult, we decide on the MVP valentine theme song- Shining baby, drum beat. Sivan sang the rap, me and Samuel did the drumbeat, later we got YanWai , Denise (whu requested to enter), Eugene( help alot inthe poster) and Bruno (did the loudest and most mistakes) together we sat in the middle of the stage, the others sang cheer and dance, Sivan did the rap marvellously. slowly, we pass the audition, 4/9 whu at first did nto get in, Marcus/lawrence requested to get in and they did cos 5/1 gave up suddenly. 4/10 and 4/8 were feelign unfair, we were even determine to win them, the practice after audition pass is a torture, we quarrel, i cried because of the damn hui quan, me and cynthia (later yan wai and Cynthia) quarrel cos of disagreement, Cai yun was in it at first, later she ran away to help Vincent ( see! haiz......) sharon at that time supported Cynthia, i hated them, so do others....... Quarrels after quarrels, finally we cam up with the idea of Zhiiwei bringing them in as PAP member, shouting "Vote for 4/8, Vote for 4/8........." we then play the drumbeat on the table and Sivan the rapper. it was marvellous, in the end, 4/10 won, they had a bunch of flirty girls, doing pompom, most importanly, Mr Chia was up there too, a pity Mrs Ng did nto join us, eventually , 4/10 won, 4/8 was second, i was sad , but later realise winning was not important, unity was, hui quan is still a disappointment, but at least the other tried........... hehe

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

today is bio remedial and band, Matt Cocky is in Singapore until this sat, the commitee must stay back during the week from 1-3 tull he goes back to Australia, we learnt American basic marching, me and Sylvia tok, i told her what happen, that Sharon and Cynthia split, Denise is back and the'three' of us are together agian, i dun liek the feeling,i began to hate Shron, First she compared her breast against mine, now her friends, Even Cynthia agree that she cannot be trusted, i dun understand why she always wants to compare with me, though i told her that i enjoy competition, i dun mean things u cannot change like my breast, is she really jealous or sumthin, i can tell she is trying very hard to outwit me, i feel terrible, i just wanna be happy, i noe Denise has amotive for wanting to be with us, obviously she dump Xin Yi for us, i simply dun like it, i can tel the others feel the same, enough of them, i really feel sick and tired badmouthing them. Well, Cynthia sis went to ROM yesterday, she and her boyfriend finally got together and settle, i think it sounds so holy and happy. i wish them all the best here, a long realationship and a pretty stable one, i dunno about me, i dun think i have the luck to find one gud and everlasting one, even is there is, it is not for me, boys around are enough to make me lost hope! JeRk........... haha, i feel very bad each time i finish complaining to Sylvia, sum time i noe certain parts i simply exaggerated, i hope i can get rid of this prob, so that i do not lost friends. Ab ex deyian recently died, overdose of sleeping pills, they say. Mrs Chee ask me about it, i have no idea, he was Ismail friend, i think i saw him looking Ismail up o teachers day, he even visit deyi on teacher's day, people cum people go, one day we see themone day they are gone, we never learnt to appreciate them until we miss them, i really hope this lesson is a gud one to remind me and others around to be thankful for our each day, and to miss everyone like u cannot see them anymore........... and hopefully i will learnt not to badmouth too much and to study even better, i am studying now, sumwhat like wan to study even more than Sharon, she sound like she study everyday , all the time,it boils me, and oso 'motivates' me to study even harder, Jia you...............

Sunday, September 07, 2003

again..... a long time has gone since i last updat my entry, feel so weird, suddenly think of JeRk, i dunno why! i went into his diary entry, he did not update it the slightest, even if he did, there souldn't be anymore entries about me, i am like apat history to him, i knew it, i just cannot bring myself to admit to fact sumtimes, haiz, wonder why i am lidat? i think of contacting him, as usual as before, but i felt that its always me trying to do sumthin first, i am nto desperate for anything, i jus wan to improve my figure, hoping that may help me. I dunno, that JeRk, why do i think so much of him today, so many handsome guys outthere, why him! he is just out there to make me hate him. nobody understand nor knew what haooen or how i feel, i am just the usual strong girl i am. went shopping with Denise and Sharon today, finally, the D.K.S is back, but not anymore the best friend kind, i duneven regard sharon as one, i told her one day, noe why she is so close to me now? Cos Cynthia finally dump, i Knew the day will cum anyway, jus a matter of time, as usual, not more than a year, haha luckily this time i state my stand, a firm stand, i am not going to let her get me the way i use to allow her. Regarding Denise, she is jus out to badmouth Cynthis, anyway thats what Cynthia use to do anyway. I knew the fact of life, Sharon start buying CLEO jus after i told her she will never attempt to get a magazine. haha, Human! i wonder whu will one day read my entry? JeRK? i printed out all his diary entry regarding me, haiz, maybe that makes me feel better. JeRK-ZhiHao. Haiz! anyway, what a catch today, bought a shirt i never thought i would wan to buy! a shiny crystal kind of top, astonishing! i jus wonder if i am really going girly or jus for a period of time?i wonder, shoud be studying now but ain;t doin it. wanted to sing a song but not doin so. KrIsTal> prob i am dreaming now! haha. Jia you , after o level, everything is over, there are defintiley better guy out there

Bobvin calme today, haha..... i did not answer, he is so damn desperate, if he were to see me now, he would definitely regret doin all he is doing now, the past is the past, he is dawning over it, sum times, i think back of the past, the time i was so assured i wan him forever, that 3 month plus of relationship, prob the sweetest, the CD he gave upon hearing my idol, the movie we watch, the night in the park, the movie we watch with Jovin and his stead back then. haha, and all the sorrow, the beijing trip, the waiting for 4 hrs for a movie, the mother scolding, the everything, i still dunno what to expect, still young back then.....

went to pub that day with mummy and Kristi, drank hooch-blackcurrant, my first ever alcohol all to myself, the guy that serve, look so much like Bobvin, his mother owns a pub too, was it him i saw? i dun think so later, he caught my eye a few time, just that look, it was just that day,the other day i went, becos i did not look attractive probably, i didn't bother to notice him, he prob notice me cos i was like the youngest, or he may just see a young girl amongst all aunties. i forge father's drum beat, standing cos i feel better that way, when he saw me, we caught eyes again, he went somewhere and brought me a chair, i feel so graceful, i thank him and accept the seat, that nite i left without looking back, prob becos i did not like him as much..... Stupid JeRk

Saturday, August 30, 2003

it's been a long time, prob too busy. JeRk stop contacting me, neither do i want to talk him into it anymore, i did tellhim more than once that i dun wanna be the one whu always start a conversation. ANyway, no boys shd cum into my life, it only make me proud, which is definitely not a gud thing. Yesterday is teacher's day celebartion. i sent a card to MRs Nai, aferall, whu worth more than her in my heart i gave Mrs Ng a soap scupture, i think she has done more than how much she thought she would wan to give. There is a Netball match between the teachers and the students, at that instant, i really wan to join in the match, haha..... anyway it was Kat and her bf-vincent, Lijuan's- Wee seng played too. Other than that, therest of the famous guys were inside too. Bruno took part and i can see the teacher almost fallen for him, his swift act and fight against Mr lee, te ever best athletic, whu would have thought he would be that pervert a guy as to initiate a kiss against Cynthiaz , never judge a book by its cover. Bobvin kept calling me this few days, one nite i finally answer his call, and he was so desperate i can tell, i make sarcastic remark of how his brother was so much more handsome than him. Haha, these kind of handsome guy like Bob is definitely not a good bargain, he is too desperate. oh yah, Jek Sheng, Xue Fen, meg xuan and sili met yesterday, it seems that they were the only few pple whu bothered,\ to go back to peiying, Jek sheng ask if the reason i did not turn up was to avoid him, i immediately told him no, i feel so helpless, it seem so difficult a day alone. I turn down a bball game with Wei Jie, Sharon and (teck young...... dunno whu lah) i dun wanna see Wei jie again, neither do i wan him to see me, to make him regret a million times that the girl he use to fall for had turn into a ...... frog,,,,,, i did not break my promise to fanny, i went jogging and pick Kristi up from her streaming, then we walk cum jog home, i worn my tennis necklace this days, i really like it thoughti am aware yiling has a similar one.did nuttin whole day, was on the tv all day, and i mean whole day, i shd be studying, but i didn't haha, what had happen to me? haha, then in the afternoon Mrs Nair call me, she thank me for the card, her voice ever so sweet, i wanted instantly to hug her and tell her how much i wanted to turn back time, she ask how i was don in my excellent drama skill, i told her how much my talent was not being discover here in Deyi, she admitted it was a loss, she even said she recall those days where Mr Ong praise me for my leadership quality of all my achievement in school back then. i ate alot these days, prob becos i am not in sch, however in the afternoon, for lunch, i couldn'tforce much food into my mouth, i am jus use to eating little for lunh, then they cook mee fordinner, i jus drank the soup, i hate mee! Actually wanted to meet Cousin for studying, but we were both worn out, in the end i really stick my buttock on the sofa all day. Jannity told me yesterday that she saw Ismail and Shahidah hanging out together, i ws fuming, i dunno why, it was definitely not becos i still like Ismail, afterall, the Three years together is enough. I jus didn't like the idea of hearingthem together, and i tild SHahidah how much i hated Ismail, to think they were studying together and touching the hair and starign at each other, i feel rather betray, however, i mustn't be selfish since i actually fallen for JeRk a while ago, ahah..... teenage islidat i guess, we all do foolish things, and one more thing_Ismail definitely SUX man , fat and ugly. I know i was so crazy over him for the past years, i wonder whyi did that, he was jus so-the-one in the past, and now, i wanna puke upon seeing him, izzit becos i still like him thus care so much for him......... i guess not, its jus a KPO atitude, ok, prelim comin soon, i must work harder............. GeeK!~

Saturday, August 23, 2003

so..... there are people out older than me that is uding this diary thingy too, haiz, this few days i didn;t realy think of guys much, maybe i am not that desperate afteral, went out to orcahrd with Cynthis and Sharon to Orchard to buy things for Vanessa, her birthday is coming. 30/8. Sharon cousin, Lijuan birthday over not too long ago, so she is buying too loh, i bought a V necklace for her and a tennis oendant for myself, i eye that for so long liao loh, mummy say it will darken after sum time, but why not buy it for a period of time, owning sumthin too long may sound not too good after all. We tok alot and i was happy, i tok about Bobvin, shaorn tok about Weeleong and nick, and Cynthia about Eric. now Msn with Zihao, Weeleong, and ming Fui. Tok to ming fui about the letters we use to wrie, sound so idiotic

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

it has been reallly long since i wrte, i mean a day lah. Hehe, today hav geog test, neva study, but last min got read thru, hope to score well, anyway all the topic are previosly tested already, mop the floor today, did pretty ok for a/c today. i Have a bad feeking, that everyone in 4/6 seem to hate me, it matters a lot this afternoon, but i felt much better now, prob because my family are with me. laze around doin nuttin all day. Feel so fat, still eat alot, today my classmates saw my photos when i was young, newest was in sec 2. Back then i still look pretty slim. Haiz, they all agree, i juz suddenly bloat, too much i didn;t realise till today i guess, i agreed i use to be very beautiful, that was why i got into so much relationship(childish) prob. Now even if i wan to go back to the past me, it seem almost impossible. I really duno what to do, it seem like using the gel seem useless, it work while i was using it, now since i stop for a while, i grew badly back
anyway, i didn;t much appresiate those little fat loss. i really hope to get past to the me in the past, what a very stupid thought. if only i could control myself the way Joilin tsai do. Haiz, nonsence. Today i saw JeRk online, i did not initiate a conversation, neither did him, all of a sudden, i think i dun lyke him, he sound so timid to me. i am lyke a gorilla infront of the mouse. Haiz, why am i so un girly? maybe God giv me a task, to be a strong one. but i really wish to look litle angel i use to be. Fat hope Kris....... thats all for now, exam drawing near. haiz...........

Sunday, August 17, 2003

haha, today is a rather boring day. Tuition juz as usual, everything as usual, Gavin and his friends are here. during tuition, Jasmine update me about her and her newater guy, haha, they are goin really well, went on a movie and dinner yesterday. That guy paid 40 pluss for the meal, not so bad. Hope sumthin will bloosom out of them. Saw JeRk online now, but dunno how to start a conversation with him. it is always me starting a conversation, think i shld keep low a bit. Mummy say i could purchase my spec for 70 bucks today, i thot it was rather expensive, but on the second thot, not too bad. really feel i put on weight liao, see my clothes very Zi pei. haiz, really hope to look better loh. Today, didn't really think of JeRk, prob it was only a crush that last for a while. miss tennis today, so much stuff i could hav done with Vivien.
everyone is preparing for prelim, i better start too........ nuttin much today, jus another boring, may not hav time to write he nxt few days. till then, lub lub

Saturday, August 16, 2003

its me again, today is a rather unusual day, Sharon(dear) and me hang out at junction 8, she bought a short beach short and i bought a 3/4 beach short. haiz, so sad, the XL look so big on her while when i try it, i t was almost like any of my past beach short, almost pushing my fats out. At that instant, i wanted so much to shout, i am still that ugly girl i've always been, nuttin has change.When others praise me, i feel like butterfly, i guess it was all but a fat hope dream. Haiz, i hate myself, 3/4 of day i do. But the only benefits it seems to bring is that Gary and i can wear the stuff together as most of my clothes are u noe- boys'.Nvm, i think he look gud in it anyway. JeRk and i chatted yesterday online, today Sharon ask me if i like him, i dunno......... haha, i think it will be better to even be a butch, all this will definitely not come my way............... see many guys today, one was totally cool~ except for his height, look prob an 19, so cool~ lyke star, oh man, i was so crazy but lost sight of him in a while, as for Dear, she caught two guys, one really spiky fellow in white, pro 17, another red shirt sale fellow, really dilligent, pro 20. there was this very handsome guy whu caught dear and i sitting near to see the red fellow, bet he was jealous as he inform that guy and we had to hide, anyway, i was not into him but he certainly made a gud salesperson. Dear wanted to see him, in the end, we stay at 4th floor to allow her to catch him from above. what a day, iwas awfully tired. the white guy and his pals, went pass us and glee at each other, i find them not as gud compare to JeRK. the saying always goes "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder". he taught me how to write my second entry today, what a freak i am! he msg me asking bout my mock today. yesterday, his msn nick was "i really miz those time when i was depress and u were there for me, i am sorry for my mistakes" haha, i have no comment to that, prob confuse. btw, Sharon was telling me today what eric told her, that bob's friend told him i was looking pretty this days and he actually call me to pester me, haha....... some guys are juz jerk. last week, in northpoint , i saw Derry, not bad that fellow, looking well in gold fringe and standin tall. last week too i saw this guy use to be in peiying, short back then, but now really tall and fair and 'new'. when he saw me, he was staring, prob he remember me, Vivien said he was cool, i think he was staring to alert me, maybe to noe Vivien thru me. Whu noes, what matter most now is to score for my exam, that is definitely my main concern ~ Kris

Friday, August 15, 2003

haha, i am being a copycat myself. Never thot of trying out an online thingy lidat. highly influence by a friend- JeRk! i call him. i realise since no one is going to read it anyway,i might as well just pour my thots here instead of wasting my pen.
Name: ChNg KrIsTaL
BeSt FrieNd: ShaRon, LiYing, Vivien, Sylvia
Crush: JeRk
so much about what i think is essential in my further entries.
shall start abit about me today. FOr the first time in history (exaggerate.......!) mummy and i went shopping. Bought nuttin but bras. Haha, wanted to cut my hair short, but put off the idea. i realise many pple around me did things i neva thot i will do it, so felt really lucky myself. but recently got rejected or rather, turn down by a guy i neva thot i will fel for, he is too handsome, the catchy one in every one's eye. am i lucky, but too bad, there was no happy ending........ haha