Tuesday, September 23, 2003

counting down one day to the end of my prelim, today is a math paper2, it was really difficult loh,hardly any chance of passing liao...... went to denise hse tody, brought heinz bean, gyoza, along..... we cook alot, eat a lot. kimchi soup, kimchi, fried noodle, bakebean with hotdog..... so damn full, and drank fruit tree apple with aloe vera, like the world was ours, tomorrow is bio chem MCQ paper, after that i wan to go shooping, to bugis to buy stationeries, noce jap one, o level in a month time, but still feel lke shopping, haha, wonder how i score for my prelim, any chance of going to JC? band schdule is forward, teacher die die oso wan to make me go band, only Sylvia manage to impress them, jealous is jealous, but what to do, my mind not as fast, not as pretty as her... haha, and anyway, she is close freind, nuttin to be jealous ofm
, only proud of,..
last sat went to church lantern festival, Maureen sing in the choir, the entire event was success, but the pastor toking part was well, gud but i must admit i was a bit impatient, seen sum case of people whu later believe in christianity. He was abit forcing kind, making people put up their hand if they chose to belev in christianity, i didn;t. haha, spoke to Reina, after so long, saw Yvonne;s baby, Joshua, he is so cute, looks like john alot...... the guy whu i noe as maureen ex schmate was cute, his frist time too
nuttin happen.,......... well. will update again,,,,,,,,,,,

Friday, September 19, 2003

today is a/c exam, this prelim has pin me down my schdule, a/c kind of mark the end of prelim, other is the MCQs. i am going to work hard for my o level comin soon. Happy to say, i have not thought of JeRk, more and more everyday, he just faded a mile, i dun have very gud memory, especially for faces, everyone else noes, haha, a gud cos i never have to keep thiniking of them after a while. Saw Ismail in the exam hall, haha, i hav absolutely no feeling liao, but i do realise his birthday is coming, dunno if i shd do sumthim about it. By the way, yesterday is Grace, today i brought cake to share with her, pikkuan, cynthia, sharon, denise. later ina while i am going to shopping with dear, long time since we hang out together, actually denise is coming along too, haha, but she got ballet, anyway its gud cos i can have sum time with my dear,... saw Chase (Zhi liang) on the bus, we chat , i was shock to learn that he took up syllabus b for chinese, cant blame him cos he and chinese never had fate haha, he told me about his compo with is full of english plus chinese, that fellow.... haha, but really funny lah.! if oly he had the determination to jia you, he say he is going home to study geography, me, on the other hand think i deserve a break, haha, but dun spend too much money kris............. haha

Friday, September 12, 2003

went to vivien hse todae, study a/c, in the morning, went jogging, acrually wanted mummy to join me, but she chose sleeping over jog. jogging in the morning is weird, the people are old, but the after feeling is great, ifeel so light, like a mission accomplish. i brought necklace to Vivien, it is for her birthday, dun think i can meet her on that dae cos i am having prelim, have to persevere now cos happiness comes later. check JeRk diary todae, i check everydae, he did not update, acc to him, he lent it to sum one else. have the urge to go shopping, to be free, but i assume now, studying and going to cuz place is satifying enough. i dun have the motivation, anyway the idea of jogging was to win Sharon. that day wheni wrote her a letter, we hug, i hug Denise to, oops, her hug is very comfortable, a kind of everything-is-fine feeling, definitely not a love kind of feeling, she is a girl mind you. i just feel her hug can ease me of my tense. As for Sharon, i do admit i dun have the similar feeling for her hug, but it was an assurance that our friendship is still strong, watch "BRING IT ON" vcd with cuz today, the show is nice, very realistic, and the ending was even realistic, no happy ending like they make it to the top, instead, they got second in the cheer compeition but is still happy, cos unity counts. During the national day cheering competition this year, our class was really lame at first, no one had the motivation to strive for a gud result, i dunno why i had the feeling to do so, it was about time to go to slp, and i had this feeling to bring hip hop into the cheer, i find the idea imply fresh and new. When the rehearsal starts, no one wan or attempt to start, i was mad at first, then i had this greater urge to make th first move, i let my heart boils while i ate my lunch. and the nxt thing u noe, i dash into the classroom and push table and chairs to create space for rehearsal, every one ont he classroom look at me as if i was sum kind of a freak, i couldn't careless, i keep doing it and i noe by then i had motivate sum somehow interested ones to join me, within a few min we did it, the guys( junming, huiquan, jianji and others) were playing cards, i mention nuttin and leave their space aside, making them feel weird themselve. i brought my music stand and place them in the front, i got Denise to write the cheer on a vanguard i brought, people ask me what to do, i ask them for opinion, i got Samuel to do the drumbeat with me, he rejected sum he find difficult, we decide on the MVP valentine theme song- Shining baby, drum beat. Sivan sang the rap, me and Samuel did the drumbeat, later we got YanWai , Denise (whu requested to enter), Eugene( help alot inthe poster) and Bruno (did the loudest and most mistakes) together we sat in the middle of the stage, the others sang cheer and dance, Sivan did the rap marvellously. slowly, we pass the audition, 4/9 whu at first did nto get in, Marcus/lawrence requested to get in and they did cos 5/1 gave up suddenly. 4/10 and 4/8 were feelign unfair, we were even determine to win them, the practice after audition pass is a torture, we quarrel, i cried because of the damn hui quan, me and cynthia (later yan wai and Cynthia) quarrel cos of disagreement, Cai yun was in it at first, later she ran away to help Vincent ( see! haiz......) sharon at that time supported Cynthia, i hated them, so do others....... Quarrels after quarrels, finally we cam up with the idea of Zhiiwei bringing them in as PAP member, shouting "Vote for 4/8, Vote for 4/8........." we then play the drumbeat on the table and Sivan the rapper. it was marvellous, in the end, 4/10 won, they had a bunch of flirty girls, doing pompom, most importanly, Mr Chia was up there too, a pity Mrs Ng did nto join us, eventually , 4/10 won, 4/8 was second, i was sad , but later realise winning was not important, unity was, hui quan is still a disappointment, but at least the other tried........... hehe

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

today is bio remedial and band, Matt Cocky is in Singapore until this sat, the commitee must stay back during the week from 1-3 tull he goes back to Australia, we learnt American basic marching, me and Sylvia tok, i told her what happen, that Sharon and Cynthia split, Denise is back and the'three' of us are together agian, i dun liek the feeling,i began to hate Shron, First she compared her breast against mine, now her friends, Even Cynthia agree that she cannot be trusted, i dun understand why she always wants to compare with me, though i told her that i enjoy competition, i dun mean things u cannot change like my breast, is she really jealous or sumthin, i can tell she is trying very hard to outwit me, i feel terrible, i just wanna be happy, i noe Denise has amotive for wanting to be with us, obviously she dump Xin Yi for us, i simply dun like it, i can tel the others feel the same, enough of them, i really feel sick and tired badmouthing them. Well, Cynthia sis went to ROM yesterday, she and her boyfriend finally got together and settle, i think it sounds so holy and happy. i wish them all the best here, a long realationship and a pretty stable one, i dunno about me, i dun think i have the luck to find one gud and everlasting one, even is there is, it is not for me, boys around are enough to make me lost hope! JeRk........... haha, i feel very bad each time i finish complaining to Sylvia, sum time i noe certain parts i simply exaggerated, i hope i can get rid of this prob, so that i do not lost friends. Ab ex deyian recently died, overdose of sleeping pills, they say. Mrs Chee ask me about it, i have no idea, he was Ismail friend, i think i saw him looking Ismail up o teachers day, he even visit deyi on teacher's day, people cum people go, one day we see themone day they are gone, we never learnt to appreciate them until we miss them, i really hope this lesson is a gud one to remind me and others around to be thankful for our each day, and to miss everyone like u cannot see them anymore........... and hopefully i will learnt not to badmouth too much and to study even better, i am studying now, sumwhat like wan to study even more than Sharon, she sound like she study everyday , all the time,it boils me, and oso 'motivates' me to study even harder, Jia you...............

Sunday, September 07, 2003

again..... a long time has gone since i last updat my entry, feel so weird, suddenly think of JeRk, i dunno why! i went into his diary entry, he did not update it the slightest, even if he did, there souldn't be anymore entries about me, i am like apat history to him, i knew it, i just cannot bring myself to admit to fact sumtimes, haiz, wonder why i am lidat? i think of contacting him, as usual as before, but i felt that its always me trying to do sumthin first, i am nto desperate for anything, i jus wan to improve my figure, hoping that may help me. I dunno, that JeRk, why do i think so much of him today, so many handsome guys outthere, why him! he is just out there to make me hate him. nobody understand nor knew what haooen or how i feel, i am just the usual strong girl i am. went shopping with Denise and Sharon today, finally, the D.K.S is back, but not anymore the best friend kind, i duneven regard sharon as one, i told her one day, noe why she is so close to me now? Cos Cynthia finally dump, i Knew the day will cum anyway, jus a matter of time, as usual, not more than a year, haha luckily this time i state my stand, a firm stand, i am not going to let her get me the way i use to allow her. Regarding Denise, she is jus out to badmouth Cynthis, anyway thats what Cynthia use to do anyway. I knew the fact of life, Sharon start buying CLEO jus after i told her she will never attempt to get a magazine. haha, Human! i wonder whu will one day read my entry? JeRK? i printed out all his diary entry regarding me, haiz, maybe that makes me feel better. JeRK-ZhiHao. Haiz! anyway, what a catch today, bought a shirt i never thought i would wan to buy! a shiny crystal kind of top, astonishing! i jus wonder if i am really going girly or jus for a period of time?i wonder, shoud be studying now but ain;t doin it. wanted to sing a song but not doin so. KrIsTal> prob i am dreaming now! haha. Jia you , after o level, everything is over, there are defintiley better guy out there

Bobvin calme today, haha..... i did not answer, he is so damn desperate, if he were to see me now, he would definitely regret doin all he is doing now, the past is the past, he is dawning over it, sum times, i think back of the past, the time i was so assured i wan him forever, that 3 month plus of relationship, prob the sweetest, the CD he gave upon hearing my idol, the movie we watch, the night in the park, the movie we watch with Jovin and his stead back then. haha, and all the sorrow, the beijing trip, the waiting for 4 hrs for a movie, the mother scolding, the everything, i still dunno what to expect, still young back then.....

went to pub that day with mummy and Kristi, drank hooch-blackcurrant, my first ever alcohol all to myself, the guy that serve, look so much like Bobvin, his mother owns a pub too, was it him i saw? i dun think so later, he caught my eye a few time, just that look, it was just that day,the other day i went, becos i did not look attractive probably, i didn't bother to notice him, he prob notice me cos i was like the youngest, or he may just see a young girl amongst all aunties. i forge father's drum beat, standing cos i feel better that way, when he saw me, we caught eyes again, he went somewhere and brought me a chair, i feel so graceful, i thank him and accept the seat, that nite i left without looking back, prob becos i did not like him as much..... Stupid JeRk