Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Hi Sam!!! Hi Sam....... hello? Sam!~? SAMANTHA CHUA XING FANG?!~ okok... just wanna tell you i LOVE you...... and if no one wants you, u know i'll still be around........ I Love YOu!!!!! Lubba Lubba Lubba My SammIe!

Kyunwoo!!! kyuwoo... erm.... Jerk?!~ have been attentive enuff this days to still read my blog? hmm...... leave me a comment k pal? Dun let ur life sulk, cos when you do, the others around you will sulk as well......

My Dear Sharon, Exam is finally over y 1st April ya? k the "saddest" things is that my exam only STARTs on 6 April... so happy waiting just like the way i wait for you

My CUzzie...... hmm...... really miss you.......
it's like life without without water and days without the sun
like campbell soup without the mushroom and tennis without the ball
like Old GranDma without their favourite Big Panty and cheerleaders without their pong pong
get what i mean? that's HOW MUCH i MISS you.......

My Princess..... hmm..... we are the luckiest....... meet during work, tok, joke,,,,,, see each others... what more?

my boyfriend and i are doing great...but my exam is pulling me away.. so i kind of threw my temper all the time., and he kind of give in most of the time....... win-win situation!!! haha

okok...... i miss you all so much...... Esp Cuz

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Like they always say - Sunshine comes after the rain

i guess i've been too paranoid these days... toking about nonsensical stuff... and guess what ...? i find it totally stupid now.. haha

ok.. for a few updates now...... let's see.. erm,. oh ya... my Mail had a BBQ with his friends last night and i tagged along. hehe...... it was pretty fun./.. reached pretty early.. but it begin with my temper-as usual.
-Greeted his mum, he was teasing me - couldn't care less...
-Help him brought his stuff down, he stare at me, COS i was wearing my best, actually my ONLY spag, haha- i couldn't care less too.....
- den Johan went to buy stuff.. he tok to me, askin me what happen - did not reply

That's it...... he REALISE i was mad.....
ok i could not come with a reason why i was feelin that way..... he den kinda joke to cheer me up... i was laughing inside// but i act cool-as usual
Dumb Fellow finally give up..... just walk with me in silence... ok ... i think i just WIN.. haha

so i crack a damn cow-and-chic joke..... so we started toking again..... haha. he apologise... but seriously, i still dun understand what he has done to make me feel that way...... i think i am SO spoilt.

Start the fire... couldn;t help much,.... so i stand by a side.... then we sneak off to get ice......
then we sneak off again to pick Chin Han... and again to get fire starter........ haha..... fun man.......

then the BBQ start....... boring
called up his sister... ask her to come down join me... she did... we tok and the day ended,,,,, went home...... he brought me safely home... haha..... further elaboration to be continued

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

that night..... second day to Grandma hospitalisation./// was in a upset mood..... still have to work

he came to fetch me home, with Darren....... they both waited for me to finish my stuff... went together to find Denise, she had to go home with her pri friend.......

took a train home..... we went to hang out at the park as usual.......
was chitchatting when we turn our topic to the moon...... it was almost full........ a nice night to chill together./.. i rest on him....... and stared at the moon............. suddenly he kind of exclaim:" eh!"

then we both look into the sky........ a VERY nice shooting star happen to "shoot" near the moon...... whis reaching burst into 5 parts.. forming the shape of a very nice star...... OmG!
We woke up from the shock and immediately make our wishes... it was the first time i caught a shooting star. and i cannot bring to word how nice it was/...... it was such a romantic night....... he is beside me... and i guess you could have prob guess it..... yah..... we make full use of the chance to kiss.............. yum yum! haha. oops
<( ^ O ^ )>

somehow or rather..... i feel that the stars says it all.,... That God had seen me, that he will blessed my grandma..... that those nights of stress and stuff is over......... i immediatel feel light...... so much lighter.....it like God sent me a Angel...... and she will Now ensure things are well............ i feel happy...... and Mail was by my side...... i feel even better....... hmm

i began to open up,..... i guess so, and XinYI and SiJia and i seems to be on pretty good terms with lotsa of new characters..... Celina, Wei Zhe, and i began to talk more to Xue Shan and Jamie... actually if we do learn to view things at another view, situation can always get better.......

but i cannot deny the fact i miss my Dear and Princess...... we seems to lost ourselve for a while...... i think they are pretty busy with their stuff... so am i...

and Cousin...... OMG! i think she is SO obsess with Rem's galfriend... haha..... not that i am jealous or what... i miss you cousin!

and i miss tennis....... really miss tennis........................

alright. i am in my skool lab now,.. waiting for powerpoint presentation,. in my formal wear today....

-=reply: Darlin. my exam will not be here till 6 april........ right now. i ACTUALLY ask him to join us for dinner. omg. i think i am way too paranoid.. belive me. i have no idea why i am in this KINd mood this days/./// i am SO proud of myself..... haha.

*SPECIAL BLOG*
this is the day i wana a tell you all what happen. so happy sia. like it was all meant be.,... haha. dunno what i am toking?
that day he came to send me home, we were toking at the park as usual. and GUES what happen?

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Today's Chapter: Missing Someone So badly..... it Hurts

-it's been almost a week plus since me and Mail met..... we miss us very much..... i miss him.. but sometimes i forget to miss him, then in the night when i think about it... and i feel so guilty.
-Then comes those times when we arrange to meet and have to cancel it last min cos i have something on...
-Then those times i knew we can meet but i dun wanna diversify my concentration cos right then Project was more important...... i feel like a JERK
-Then those times when i am doing my project and my mind is flooded with Project, and there he was missing me and i just couldn;t find the time to call him back....... i am such a loser
-Then comes those times i am SO tired, and we still make the effort to call each other every other night, but when we really tok, all he did was listen to me complaining about my project, and how unhappy i was these days...... he had no complain
-The nights i was too stress at the same time upset over tiniest matter, i cried like a Baby, he was upset... and loss for words
-Those night that he just misses me so much, he admit there'll almost tears

ya right..... as if i was pretty , i had no idea why i feel the way i felt. Bet i wasn;t trying enuff. but when i think about it, i knew many of my steps were just wrong. He's always so supportive and stuff. And all i can do is to upset him...... to think it brighten up his days just by my laughter. why am i behaving like a bimbo? like a dumb ass?

More on the cheerful side now- went to town with Xin Yi and Wei Zhe yesterday.... we also met up with Si Jia and her sis. The funniest part? Wei zje came by my house to wait for me while i bath and change into something fresh. It was quite weird, a guy friend dropping by my house while i change up./ .." if Mail hear about it...... haha........... he sure flare....... but i am gonna be honest to him...... let's see.

to be continue........ sleepy la

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

-=you know whu you are...... you SUCK and there' NO doubt about it=-
TAN JUN LIN!!!!!!!!! you suck.. you suck..... you are a bastard......you are just an asshole...... ur life is cursed...... i hate you and cant wait to see you dead...... you'll be sorry for what you say......... cos God will never forgive you...... so do i....... you are a TRUE BASTARD>.......

never knew Krissie was that violent? well, get a life then...... i may be easy going, may be the monkey you all think i behave like.. but i swear if you dare provoke me you shall get it.....

-= i cannot stop you from thinking i am ugly....... but i can allow myself to HATE you=-

just receive a msg from him....... -91188850 "yoz...yoz... think u are quite piss e whole day. n i like e source of it, hope there's way i can smoothen it. sorry yeah..."

here's my reply........"yoz...yoz... think u are quite piss e whole day. n i like e source of it, hope there's way i can smoothen it. sorry yeah...-- you like the source of it? i think you are a TRUE SICKO"

he reply" k lor. sicko sicko lo...... u happy whatsoever...... but i dun see no pt y you are angry"

i admit i am ugly....... i dun denied the fact..... but when a human is born,..... they do not come into this world to be insult by others........ a human be it fat or short, female or male, chinese or indian has their principle in life....... what's with people whu uses their butt to tok? whu use their butt to think before they speak...

i hate this month..... it;s like my worst month ever..... nuttin seems right?
God, if you bring me into this world, pls remember me.... dun leave me for a while.......

maybe God doesn't wans me anymore...... maybe i am too ugly

maybe he is right" i am NOT PRETTY"
i am a brainless depress gal..... thinking too much...... my brain juice and eyeballs, ear, and mouth are all in the wrong place
-=see no evil
-=hear no evil
-=touch no evil

Friday, March 11, 2005

this few days has been like hell. i finally wait till Ismail called me before i finally break down and cry.. too stress. nuttin seems to be on the right track.. even a single joke could end me up in a quarrel between me and my brother.... i felt so loss..
-God seems to have left me out for a while..-
and i was left on my own. i did not wanna approach anyone for fear of my temper.... i lost to Simon..... quarrel with my brother when Denise is around.......and just as i walk in front to see some stuff, girl approach Denise and Sharon to be models.... what else could get worst? i feel drained. like all my energy are quickly running out...... Mail tried to call me initially but i was already asleep.... the days are stressed and havoc.. night are dark and scary... i dun wanna live in this fear for long................ And than that day i finally squeeze some time out to talk to my Baby, i finally break down.. i could not take it anymore. i miss my Baby, i dun wan to be those da jie jie solving prob for my best friends or solving equations for my classmates anymore.... i just wan to be a little girl around Mail, i just wanna throw my temper and cry over dropped lollipop... i just wan to be free.. of all this nonsence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then Mail told me my Grandma would not wan to see me like this........ i cried.... so badly.... who else can i miss most but my grandma? the previous few cryings over 2 months are because of Grandma. i miss Grandma... i told Mail, he understand how i felt....... he just stood by me........ but that night when he finally told me Grandma would not want to see me like this..... i kind of woke up....... I REALLY MISS MY GRANDMA, the one that teach me knitting, sewing, cooking, cleaninf the house, and the one who encourage me to constantly win others and exercise... i miss Grandma...... that night Mail acc me on the phone while i cry my hearts out......

after a true cry, i smile..... a silent smile, cos i feel so light again, the feeling of letting out all this kept emotions in me are all out....... i giggle, then laugh, then laugh out loud, Mail knew the crisis was over,.......... he was happy, i was happy too...........

i know, i am highly emotional,......... but i cant blame myself....... a few task, projects to be done and then exam and all shall be fine., i saw Bro this afternoon, i said bye to him as i left the house, the first bye we ever exchange, it was pretty good....

-sometimes the simplest bye can mean alot, it can mean~ come back early, we are expecting you for dinner.-

so thats the end of my entry this time...... i bet Princess and Sharon are reading this, let not talk about this topic again........ i just wanna stay happy again./....

me and my empty brains. welcomes problems again/. hehe

Friday, March 04, 2005

time to update the bloggie........finally meet Mail today..... after a long wait of 4 days, suppose to be a long day....... then i got test.. then got tutorial.....the need to eat dinner,. so end up meeting only for about 2 hours,,,,,went to northpoint..... he eat Yoshinoya...... do nuttin much..... never spend much....... so ok ok la.. but still can see e/o..... so was pretty good la...... then i brought along my LOMo, so took 2 shots...... hopefully the film's not negative....... if not sure all the good moments with D n S will be wasted..... and not to forget the times with him........

test today was a killer,,,,,,,, chances of winning Simon is not there.///// but i think i kind of found mny people on my side,,,,, all aiming to win Simon...... so i can still put my faith with them..... lets all win that fellow!

D.K.S outing was so unforgetable...... still lingering on my mind............ we were all so close........ i feel like the world just stop revolving....... we no longer like last time...... had all the complain of the world, right now we are only concentrating on enjoying ourselves, its like we are all living in our small world....... i miss them all so soon...... like the feeling ofseeing them is here with me 24/7...... i guess thats how one should feel when they stablelise something that means so much to them...... be it a relationship or a friendship....... you will eventually feel the bonding and confidence........ so thats is what i am feeling now...........
My best friends are part of me........ and i treasure them so...... much...... its almost impossible to let go......

My dear friends...... are you thinking of the next outing? i am... i feel so light. no longer stress by skool work or the urge to win simon....... i miss you gals....... ]
My dear cuz...... i miss you too....... i wan tennis, our teamwork is ever so fit together, imagine a puzzle... you can only put this piece and the matching one togther...... if you try others...... you know the pic wont turn out right.. thats is how i feel towards you

My Mail, hehe.....what else can i say... he is still so into us, for that i am so glad....... but i think we can sense abit wrong in the way things are happening now........ like last night he ask me if i ever wonder why he always keep quiet when i complain the slightest things about him,........ then i was like..... of course i do, i know he is giving in to me....... and i couldn;t bring myself to tell him i appreciate it..... so i hope he can feel that actually each time i throw my temper, he is doing me a extremely big favour by giving in....... thank you Mail, thou you cannot read this......... and his reason for keeping silence is, because he just can;t get word out of his mouth... so we are still a very weird couple, but still enjoying the way things are........ Mail, you spoil me the way no others can do, haha... i am so into you!!!

Waiting to do hair treatment with D.S.. we are gonna get our hair together....... hehe... and not to forget some one special 's birthday is coming......... ooo.........

Si Jia begin to open up. eveyone could tell...... she even tells XIn Yi and me jokes....... haha... i feel so proud of myself, no reason....... haha...... just feel that i have open them up. and i enjoy this friendship day by day.. more and more... they make me study, make me eat less...... see,,,,, it's a win win thingy..... i also make them openup... and they make me MORE lady like...... haha...... i guess i make the right friends,,,, and thank god i did not follow simon..... like those D**

love you................................. ('v')chic----x.X=Love=X.x---cow (moo!)

Thursday, March 03, 2005

today's is D.K.S anni....... we had the greatest of all...... i bet all of us had so much fun... bought a lot of stuff..... Denise had the greatest catch.. she spend like about a hundred bucks...... on skirt, halter, bag, stationeries..... haha.. like a total makeover.....for the whole body... haha...
Sharon dear......... bought a OP pants..... skirt too.....stationeries......
Krissie me........ bought a skirt... OP shorts...... stationeries............
we had so much fun....... eat at Fish and co....... the meal was ex...... and not at all delicious....... haha./. we took pic too...... before meal..... after meal....... in the train...... it's like a friendship understanding........we liek what we are doing........
okok
my boyfriend call..... i wanna concentrate on talkin to him...... hehe.......

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Baby..... i am so touch,.....
you light up my life
you give me hope to carry on
you light up my life and filled my days

This few days was fufil... had promise my dear Sharon to eat lesser,. turns out i am eating more........ hmm... had better reflect on my action and try my best to change for the better..... Dear Sharon can do it, so i mus do it better.......

O levels results are out, turns out the result were the oposite of what everyone was expecting....... hmm..... could tell Rem was not very happy...... My bro was like so proud of himself...... i am proud of him too lah... considering he was never really good at studies......

Baby and i seems to quarrel a lot this while....... not exactle quarrel cos we always tok it out calmly and apologise.... i guess i guess absence makes the hearts grew fonder we are like this real weird couplt that do things of both world but still enjoy being together........

Today Baby happen to use the handphone... n so we sms a lot..... then he finally let his secret out... haha..... he was goin to sign up Biking after class today....... hmm....... seems like i have a huge impact on him...... haha.. no wonder he always i am the only one who can make him shut up...... i guess i finally understand what this sentence means...... Baby promise not to skip lesson for work again..... and he really did, in fact he arrive so early in school that his friend were going like "what;s happening>?" haha..... only i know........

i make a card for Baby, our 3rd month anni is coming...... hehe....... cant wait.....

D,K,S updates-
the day after is D.k.S friendship day...... its so gonna be a huge occasion so much so that i have decided to skip lecture,. we'll chill out togther...... hehe..... gonna be fun...... i was telling XIn yi and Si jia, they wish me all the best......... D.K.S is so gonna bitch our ways fun

one more things, seems like i am losing out to Simon in test better buck up and win him.......... haha..... our class is holding a chalet in april and i have invited Baby, its gonna be an ovenight event....... so i cant wait to hang out with the classmates and with Baby thru the night........ Have rest assure and warn myself against doing anything stupid....... Mail and discuss about it too before, we WILL know our limits..... hehe....... so i can jolly rest assure things is gonna turn out fine..... gonna prove to mummy that i can be trusted and so can Mail......