Monday, November 28, 2011

a thing call love

Last week was supposedly awesome, for some magically wonderful reason bbbbb and i fell in love all over again (IKR, the umpteeth times i said this.. but the feeling is so refreshingly new each time i had to add in "all over again"... like he's my new bf or something..awesome feeling... )

Its like we both woke up from a gloomy months back and just wanna redo everything we did when we first dated. We arrange to check out mall, get stuffs, go shopping tgr, the sort of things you do with your best friend and just staring at him whenever we werent seriously shopping was enough for my heart to skip twice as fast... i feel like a small girl, adoring someone unreachable from afar... and sometimes smiling to

Sunday didnt went as well as Saturday would, i fell aslp late into the night after catching the soccer match between Man-U VS Newscastle.... i struggled a little to stay awake, but he cover me in my blanket and stroke my hair, hush his buddy to lower their volume, cheer in whisper (hurhurhur...) when Man-U strike a goal..... and eventually i couldnt recall much except for waking up in the morning to see him still sleeping soundly like a baby, and slowly waking him up cos we were two happy kids that need our dosage of DOREMON every sunday 9.30-10am..... =P

We spent the afternoon checking our neighbourhood mall before i notice my Ez-link missing... it had been with me for a while and we had stick on a  picture of MR MEAN sticker tgr before he left for UK... so Mr Mean was gone, i was mad at the card holder for coming loose..... afterall i had used it for 3 years without a complain and the poor Daiso $2 card holder had given way... i lost the card value of $40, but more importantly, i miss Mr Mean. bbbbbbbb was mad at me for having lost the card, we had a tiny arguement over who was actually at fault (i think it was the card holder but he beg to differ)...... we finally snap out of it and spent some good time tgr....

Night fell and for some reason i had to meet a friend of mine urgently. Upon learning what had happen to her, i was too upset for words, i was angry at first, then i feel useless for not being able to offer my help, i sob like a baby, then we both wiped our tears and cheered each other up.... She is a very nice girl that does not deserve what has happen to her, and that makes me very very angry. i promise not to tell anyone what has happened but i feel so affected.    After we parted ways bbbbbbb send me off in a cab for home because he knew i need some time alone...... the journey back from Hougang till Chinese Garden wasnt too short.... i cried non-stop and felt soooo much emotions about being woman in general. i felt unjustified, i felt like we were the weak party when it comes to a relationship....

Thank God bbbbb stayed vigilance on the phone, he comfort me even thou he wasnt sure why i was so affected, he knew who i was angry at but he didnt ask why. He told me he will whallop anyone that makes me, or the people i care about, angry. He offer to keep me company if i needed one. Eventually i felt better..... but i was still really really affected.

Lying on the bed before bedtime last night, i wonder how many other girlfriends of mine are super fortunate yet they couldnt see it. I access a couple of other friends who had their share of broken relationship, i begin to think how alot of them shouldnt even be crying over a guy who wasnt worth it. i also thought about how i use to cry for months over Lester.... i felt stupid that i use to allow myself to be affect by this people that shouldnt matter.

If you truly love someone, will you bear to see them get hurt? i wouldnt, i would rather hurt myself than inflict this sort of pain on them. bbbbbbb once promise me, years ago, that my life will change forever as soon as he enters, over the years i've seen a lot of change in my life, but the one most thankful change he had brought into my life was to pick me, over the other thousand, million other girls outside. I felt like i am standing here today, helping other people and talking them into standing up after they have fallen, because the man who stood by me, proves that it is possible to be treated correctly, to be cherish like a precious gem by someone else.

i feel so emotionally strained from last night, this morning my eyes swell to the maximum (whats new seriously? i know the exact remedies to lessen the swelling by now )... i worn double thick eyeliner to work.. and here i am blogging over lunch time, reflecting on what has happen last night, and making sure this was mark down, so i can trace back on my lives, my friends lives, and see how all of us grow up gradually as time brings us through different phases.... undergoing several major "makeover" till we find our true identity...

i still believe in a thing call Love...... do you?


Saturday, November 19, 2011

i love you bbbbbbbbbb

Something unexpected happens today... ok.. maybe yesterday// bleahz

ok... so i was all hyped and confident that not staying over bbbbbbbbbbb on friday will be an awesome idea since we need some space apart... but i failed that mission cos he was being so sweet to accompany me for dinner at chinese garden and spent some time with me watching TV at my place... and den we went off - together- back to his.. hahah...
But i din COMPLETELY failed my plan.... we spent sat as plan... like a fresh young couple dating in town, holding hands, accompany each other (HIM - uniqlo, Goal! stadium, Burberry and Braun Buffel, HER-forever21, Prada, Daiso, far east plaza)... catching a movie (we watched The Three Musketeers)... and talk about just anything!
Then just seconds ago i saw a book lying on his study room and there was a strange aura that lure me into pulling it off the shelf (sorry Charmine! i should have asked you permission).... and den i saw this--------------->  

It felt strange for me to be actually checking out know-all books since i am usually a HUGE fan of fictional novels but could never complete 20% of "who moved my cheese)

I didnt start from the first page, i flip immediately to my horoscope and was amused by the findings.... 

(Kristal's)Aquarius + Scorpio(Rodman's)
 like the book suggested, we are two very unique individual with powerful characteristic, alot of the relationship depends on how to compromise to make the relationship works?

i'll represent my star sign using myself and his using himself. The book distinctively differentiate our characteristics with me being honest & straightforward while he is deeply secretive and emotional. My star sign is not usually connected to emotions - thou i am someone who tends to express my emotion in the most obvious way i.e. happy = laugh, sad=sob, and this is one of the major reason that had drawn me to him.... 

One of his strong feature (in my opinion, i had agreed with the book almost 100%) is determination, and this can apply to the area he will like to have things done in his own way, the likelihood of him giving up on anything halfway is impossible. 

With similar traits found in myself, very often the point of quarrel tend to be during activities that were being carried out together. When the both of us work on a project together, we would be likely to compete against each other and complete it, this is also how we support each other in the MOST practical way.

I can vividly remember helping him clear his room just a week ago.... bbbbb gets emotional when he had to throw stuff he is attached to away, and this "stuff" includes empty shoe boxes, postcards, air tickets, hotel room access cards and bags. There are items, in my opinion - impractical, useless and space-occupier.... we couldnt agree on which one was to be kept and which to be thrown.... he experience maximum shock when i dumps his harddisk drive, floppy disk reader and CPU fan away but i couldnt understand how these "treasures" will benefit any of us in the current era... despite them being fantastic brands like logitech.... In the end we agreed that i will clean up and arrange the new space he has cleared while he work on clearing other spaces, throwing away his "treasure".. THAT IS THE PRACTICAL WAY OF US COMPROMISING TO EACH OTHER!
The book suggest that even if things shall not blossom between us, we will learn to place a high level of respect towards each other after we part. i couldnt agree more! bbbbbbbbbb has taught me alot of things in life that i could never set interest on... and instead of letting me be, he will held on to the same stuff, reminding me about them every single chance he found a connection to. It usually take me no more than 3 reminders to shoot him with a "i've heard this twice before, from you!

After which he will smile and continue talking about it and that is the point it drill.... right into my mind... and stays.... 

While bbbbbbbb and i are great communicators, we express our message different. What brought me to a enlighenment was that the book had identify his star sign to be a non-verbal commicator - which was one of his characteristics that almost had me leaving him many times... 

After having read this book, i admit i was in the wrong to expect him to express himself clearly like i had done to him.... i should have understand him beneath the sound he make, learn his body gesture and study his eye when he talks. Scorpio are EXPERTS at non-verbal communicator. His communication of ideas goes beyond expression via feelings, it extends to his desire to intimacy. 

In short, the relationship shall be complex and challenging, this combination is the classic case of the immovable object VS irresistible force.... in epic terms... think of  Muhammad moves the mountain.
One important thing that all scorpio dating Aquarius should take note!!!~

Page 180 of the book is CRUCIAL -->  Aquarius born 21-31 January are quite restless individual (this part of the book.. is so scarily true... )  THEY ARE LIKELY TO CHANGE THEIR OPINION AS OFTEN AS THE WIND CHANGES, also,  they can be rather explosive. This means it will be hard for the both of you to see eye to eye.. .

Crazily accurate readings.. and i cannot wait to read this out loud to bbbbbbbbb... i know i have a rare temperature... and i now know this will affect our relationship... but nevertheless, i;ve learn just how i can go about making our relationship works! i wanna appreciate bbbbbbbbbbbbbb's expression of ideas in a non-verbal way...

if i may express it one more time.... in the most Aquarius-way ever - i love you bbbbbbbbbbb!!!! As direct as that!!!


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

tonight's gonna be a different night in comparison to the usual head-home-after-work-night for a couple of my cousins and Pau are gonna meetup to celebrate BabycuzRaymond's birthday.

sobx*** he was only 21.... haha/ but that was already 2 years back.

And back then, everyone else looks equally silly//

.... thank God we've moved on.... tsk tsk tsk///

some of us actually looks younger now than then

Gonna post a bit more pictures taken 2 years ago before updating the latest batch we are gonna take tonight..

Whats even better was this year..... bbbbbb's coming along with me!

you cannot always tell my excitement especially since he isnt the sort of person that would want to accompany me to just anywhere. He usually plays the role of a perfect bf that fetches me when i am done with my entertainment=)

So bbbb and i had met with some issues in our relationship that kept us quarrelling for a while, but we've since decided to take our relationship a step back, and instead of the usual stayover over the weekend, this week i am staying put at my own place and meeting him for a proper date in town this saturday, after which he would fetch me home before leaving for his, just like how relationship started so sweet and all.. i am very excited about dressing up to impress... and it dawn upon me how much we took it for granted to dress up for outing since we had spend the night before together and it was just the usual "spend time out in the afternoon".

BAck then, it was so much different..

the first 6 month into our relationship, i was pulling my hair by the side into a ponytail and volumize it up with some hair products.

i also brought my shades out, to match my bag and i bother to put on a bangle.. ( which was a rare deal cos i always pack light)

infact i can hardly remember when was the last time i specially bought a dress to wear on a special occasion with him....

sometimes i felt like i dress like a pregnant lady

Bottom line is that i hope all this will change if we work on seeing the good side/past of each other and put a little more effort to impress each other..  =)

i know how random my blog can get at times.. so this time is no difference... i am signing off.. abruptly.. bye


Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Happy birthday bbbb

bbbbb turn 26 some weeks back, i knew him since i was 14, so logically speaking we have known each other for more than 10 years.

i hadnt actually knew him that well enuff to know his family back then, we were mutual friends, both chubby and from different schools, it was only till i hit 21 (haha... ) and invited him to my 21st birthday party (by chance) that things blossom <3

i think bbbbb is really blessed to come from a family of very lively people - not like mine are stale and dull haha...  what i really meant was how each and every family member has a different character they play in the house and manytimes it makes the atmosphere extremely active and participative

Rodman - a.k.a bbbbb, has 3 other siblings but unlike me, he is the third child of the family. In his house, the siblings set up an bank account (thanks to his sister who is a banker) that allows them to fund their dinner every fornight or so.

Ever so often, they held group chat to discuss the next step of action for what was about to come (let's say the halloween, his sister ROM, his mum's medical advances, someone's birthday.. etc... ) The most current one would be his sister's ROM. But slightly before that, they had arrange to celebrate bb's birthday over dinner, followed by ice-cream....

Dinner was Ah Orh Seafood located near Sim Ming road but i was not to disclose the address cos the food taste really good and we wouldnt want to share too much info for fear we might have to wait quite a while in time to come.... We had cold crab and stuff.. chatted over dinner.. and it was during this time that bbbb's sis fiance had to be vegetarian for a while so we had some really good vege dishes as well.

After dinner, we set off in 3 car (bbbb's sis, his bro, and his bro''s gf's) and off we went to Udders at gardens, which bbbbbb couldnt couldnt stop raving since the previous time we went with his lilsis. All of us tried the MaoShanWang ice-cream... and i must say, it could very well be one of the best durian ice cream i;ve ever eaten/

bbbbb's lilsis ordered the waffle cone ice cream and all of us wanted a taste of it.. haha

my very fat fingers.... -.-" can you see how big the cone was? 
 The birthday boy too engross with his MaoShanWang to care about posing for a picture
 stop to offer a bite......
 can you see how PURE the durian was? it was literally scoop out from the durian and iced!
 his usual frown, back to the ice cream, back to ignoring me... heehee
and the overall result from 9 of us eating ice cream........

His entire family (from left to right) --> sis's fiance, sis, lil sis, me, bbbb, his dad, his mum, bro's gf, bro

bbbbb's mum, the funniest lady who would do silly stuff  with bbbbb at his command... ahha

after Udder's we were all full... but bbbb still has his birthday cake.. so it was back to his place at the usual spot (i've witness this birthday singing session at the same spot for 3 years now =)

the number of candles on the cake makes me sad... and touched/./

you might notice the smoke from the cake... the "kids" (bbbb and his bro) were playing with dry ice

making his wishes...

and another round of ice-cream (the cake is malt flavored ice cream cake form Ice-Cube, gardens)

and there you have... the same man i;ve spend mostly every single other second apart from school/work/with friends with...

and despite all the silly fights we might have once in a while, the usual ranting, i love him more than anything in my life (he's actually on the same rank as my parents and grandparents.. )

my bbbbb's older now... can think much maturelly- i hope. And in time to come one fine day we might not end up together but life has been good this three years with him,,, and i am not complaining =)

If we are more affirm with each other, who knows this might be the other half i am spending my life with.... but we shall let time tell...

in any note, Happy birthday bbbb.... i hope i get to sit on the front passenger seat for the longest time when you are the driver... =)

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Life's little rantings

i know this wouldnt come as a huge news... but----- bbb and i are going to Malaysia -AGAIN.

i know how you hear that from me ALL THE TIME, but this time the trip's gonna be for NO reason.. haha.. as simple as that....

bbbb's mum and dad's gonna head back to their Malacca's pad and i need to grab a good pair of cutie flip flops from the night Market and so, off we arrange...

i can imagine all the junk food i am gonna gobble down... and how bbbbb and i can legally pluck off all the mangoes outside his house... and if i am lucky *finger crossed, i might be able to lay my hands behind the wheel and work on some much-needed practical driving training (its been EONS since i got my PDL but i havent done much thereafter)

Yesterday marks a major occasion to the Goh family as bbbbbb's sister tied the knot with her beau of 12 awesome years, the preparation running before the actual day was tiresome, nevertheless, it all went pretty well (minus the Iphone music that was airing tooooooo silently and bbbbbbbb's bro random speech)

I would really wanna blog a post based solely on the preparation into the actual day.... bbbbbb, his mum and i source the entire Singapore (we made trip-S to Spotlight, Chinatown, arab street, Daiso, Jurong IMM...etc) weeks after weeks jsut to get all the material, i sews the stuff, while his mum build (literally hammer the nails and saw the woods) the platform to get all the stuff ready. It was a MAJOR combine projects and i'm glad it's now over.

i've since develope a STRONG linking to celebration preparation, so for those of you looking hiring a planner for any event and half the cost off a Pte Ltd ones, do keep me in mind *wink

In another news, i've discuss with bbbbb and we both felt it was high time i bring my blogshop skills back ontrack. After having complete some projects (fashion shows,,,, i felt i have reached the stage i could get on my feet to get my own .com going. Afterall, the only knowledge i TRULY gain from my diploma in BIT was perhaps the HTML coding to building a website, and with the help of my very-talented lilbro (who is a web designer that charges thousands per projects btw) this thing should works.

i've marked in mind some very pretty friends of mine to engage in this project, and bbbbb's very nicely volunteer to pump in cash, its in the planning and i hope i'll bring some good news soon =)

Work's been fine, minus all the stress i've been bringing onto myself, everyone's complaining about how i've been losing weight, but some of bbbbbb's relatives and close friends say this was positive, especially this aunty of his whom i feel very very nice, mentioned she never really take a close look of me till yesterday (during the solemnization) and she felt i look much much better than before (with my now sharper features)

i wont be lying to tell you the truth that i've been seeking help with my diet.... such as diet pills... my bf is aware of this matter but i;ve stopped the medication during the period when i was down with my 2011 fever (my once-a-year major fever that usually last for months) which was about 2 months ago, and the weight had been steadily going down, which is a good sign, i;ve also taken an approach to pack food from home (which i enjoy doing since it saves me a lot of trouble and $$$) and sometimes the same food from yesterday bored me so much i completelly skipped lunch.

I'm currently weighing between 50-52Kg which is still consider overweight according to the secondary school TAF club requirement, so please dont ask me to stop cos i've got a long way to go. Also, with regards to Timmy (the living thing inside my stomach, a.k.a Tummy ) i might engage some REAL help from doctors cos we now suspect its not fats, but fibroids. Should i remove this non-cancerous tumour off my body, i hope to one day announce to all of you my succeed in dieting...

and i will celebrate that joyous occasion with a once-in-a-lifetime photoshoot... dunno where and how i should make it special thou.

sooooo much for ranting whatever came into my mind.... i'll blog soon as i return from Malacca (OR during tomorrow's lunch who knows). Till then, take care my Mainlands mates (a terms now commonly term by friends and family who learnt that i am permanently working in Pioneer road and off-SG... haha