Friday, November 13, 2009

Sigh!` Sigh!~

i tink i fail big time in this whole diet thingy i am doing with Sharon..

Sharon jia you Sharon jia you... den at the back i am breaking the rules, going against the diet.. and in short - puttin on weight... haha.. bb.. when u return and i have already turn into a bigger boobs yet bigger bigger ass, water-er tummy bag and triple chin.. will you still love me?

had a short chat with bb this morning, it was our morning routine, to chat when i woke up (which is also equilvalent to him going to bed).. i asked bb about his close friends over in Uk. There was the usual buddy Fendi as well as this Viet girl (which i had a fight with him about... ) . I ask bb if he will be hanging around with them this afternoon (friday) since they have no class. bb refuse me saying Fendi has friday mosque prayer so they will only be heading out after that...

As much as "viet" has cause a little misunderstanding between bb and me, i tot of askin him to hang out with her (otherwise poor bb's entire morning will be wasted doing nuttin in his 4 wall tiny room). However, bb told me it wasnt neccessary cos he din wan any chance of causing anotheer misunderstand btw me and him due to this matter. Needless to say, i was touched at his attempt to prevent any possible war, however, i also felt the pinch when he mentioned that.

Let me emphasize that bb is definitely not saying that out of sourness from the previous fight, but i felt a little affected.

"wasi being over-possesive toward bb? Had i deprive him of that little time he could possibly spent with his friend"

"had i been too harsh on him?"

"had i become the kind of gf i dun wan to be"

"does that means i dun trust bb"

the comforting thing is when i told bb about my concern, he put it in a way that signifies no matter how other sees us, if this is something i feel uncomfortable, he will make the effort to prevent me from feeling this way. It dawn upon me how he and i have been making the effort to do thing we can possibly do to prevent upsetting the other party.

one, for example, is how i refuse going to the club n drinking unneccessary, that was a strange amount of guilt initially cos i feel i was letting my friends down by refusing their invitation. However, the continual refusal makes me learn quite a few stuff. i din actually felt the need to be drinking myself crazily drunk or waking up with a terrible headache. On top of that, bb explanation was something that had me tinking. He was worried that i get drunk and he will not be around to take care of me.. or that i will end up taking care of others.

but there is s lee-way to everything, bb says i can drink if there is a reason to do so and when he is around..

i believe such compromisation that is accepted by both party willingly are usually the vital things in life that makes the relationship steady. Had bb be a heavy drinker himself, both of us will probably be wasted big time.

and in the most recent case, his attempt to prevent hanging out with the girl alone in order to prevent any misunderstanding was also a compromisation that both of us agree. You may call me selfish as a gf, but i had given the option to bb and he chose this, on top of that, he is comfortable hanging out with that girl as a group, so i dun see how much chance there will be for her to actually want to hang out with my boyfriend alone.

My advise for all the long distance relationship couple out there is simply to compromise to an extend that is acceptable for both party. This may not seem like an important thingg to particularly note, but trust me, (and my bf), it makes the relationship works..

bb.. is finally coming back soon.. tralaalalalalallalalal./!!~ wheeeeeee

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