Thursday, June 17, 2010

Lately, i found reading others' blogs more and more unbearable. I find the comment they receive from warm wishing friends too much to handle. I found the lives they have created for themselves more interesting than my entire life.

Yet i cant complain, and i contnue to envy them in silence over their luck, being their diehard reader and hopefully feel the joy they had while typing their entries. Maybe its really me, i cant make my life as colourful as theirs. For some reason everything that is happening now are just part of my life - and not part of the life i hope to have.

i do wish i find joy in everything that is happening around me or is going to happen, but there are bound to be walls filtering my joy and mixing it with bits of mixed emotions.

I am somehow grateful to surprises, i see joy in being slap with things that never knew was going to happen, but it seems people around me tend to be upmost honest when it comes to the itinery. As such, i've to actually request for most of them not to tell me wat is going to happen.

Why does it seems when life is too straight forward you want some complication

Leaving singapore in a couple of days, not in much mood to pack, not in much mood to listen to instruction..... not in much mood to follow orders. i do wish i feel that bit of anticipation i had earlier... bt as it's nearing, i cant help but dread it..

Spoke to PaperStop this morning, i am frustrated and stress- stress over knowing what is to come ahead. i am scared, scared of everything that i knew was going to happen. Somethings are not dependable on fate. this time i had to built it with my bare hands... but i am losing the momentum, i am not motivated to want to built something out of this situation.

if only i had that sort of emotions on those blog that i read, i do wish i could count my blessing at this time - but this sort of blessing that are financially dependable are not to be taken seriously,

human are selfish and jealous creature - they see the need to make others jealous, but they fail to realise one fine day,.. their partner will be jealous of others tooo

p/p/p/p/p/s: do not raise this post to me.. thanks..


No comments: