The benchmark for all guys of my era is to be rather thoughtful, thou playful but also very considerate. I thank their parents for their good upbringings and praise out loud when a person's actions are out of the ordinary gentlemently. The whole package of a man makes them attractive to girls, even to foreigners.. I have a foreign friends who googled online and found out that SG men were caring towards their partner. She had wanted to know if this was true and with one trip to SG she was affirmed. To some others who do not see the beauty of being a gentlemen, these guys were also given a negative names call the "hen-peck" but the way i see it, opening the doors, allowing the ladies to walk through the door first, grabbing an extra drink for your female is a gesture no girls can resist. And i am not even talking about choosing the right other halves.
My choice of close guy friends are very courteous towards all their female friends. Many of them hav girlfriends themselves and they treat all ladies nicely. I do not see why any special treatment for the ladies (who are often of a smaller build) are not deserving and should be return with a favor (i.e sex, or like gentlemen ONLY for the lady that the guy is attracted to).
Since most of my friends are of my age (with the exception to Steve, who's in his 30++ going on 40 and who use to be my boss) i sort of built on the impression that guys are very or should be gentlemen and this only gets better as they age, having met even more ladies in their lives. Recently however, i met a "special" male who is - i dont know how to put it ----- different??!?~. It is espccially an eye-sore since there are alot more gentlemen in the clique i was introduce to.
I wouldnt say i am a very weak girl who expect man to take on several task that they cannot do. When i was a small girl i had the thinking "if korkor/didi can do it why cant i?", so i took up running and played sports that my brothers did. i have a passion for fixing things and always beg my Dad to teach me hands-on techniques on carpentry.
Some examples are changing the electric plug of the iron when the fuse has burnt (checked!), removing/drilling screw onto wall for fixture (Checked!) , changing lightbulbs (checked!), install LED light fixture onto ceiling (checked!) assemble metal shelfing to hang clothes (checked!), opening CPU and changing the graphic Card (checked!)..... I also enjoy helping friends out with painting the wall, getting my hands dirty trying to fixture the bicycle chain when it came loose..... i do not think i am the fragile sort of girls who stands at a corner when she cannot fix her stuff.
But the "eyesore" becomes prominent because he:-
- likes to cut into the conversation when female are speaking with a "no..no..no.. YOU listen to me"
- sees you holding 3 bags full of stuff, caught in the rain and frantically searching for the entry-pass to open the door and all HE could manage was to stand right behind the glass door and smile. WITH NO INTENTION of opening the door for you simply by pressing the button that was inches away from his shoulder.
- talks with his mouth full of food, MANY times spitting food particals he was chewing onto the table in front of the both of you and then wiping it off with his sleeves.
Alot of times i keep myself out of his way, so as to avoid a conversation because i cannot imagine what other new "habits" i may discover. I dont think hate is the correct terms as to why i had to pick out this male specimen, out of all my other friends to talk about. He is very rare, very self-fufiling and very satisfied living in his own world. He is also extremely blinded by the hints everyone was dropping to him about his "habits".
When the thoughts starts running in, i then proceeded to imagine how its like dating a person like this. WHAT IF i throw in another criteria? HE is a successful businessman that is earning big and travels quite a bit, to say HE is a good catch may not be false. WHAT IF- you, married him in a moment of blindness ( like all you see was how HE had bothered to work very hard at work to get promoted) and HE treats you like a queen, is a gentlemen to you and ONLY you, but treats your maid, your classmates and his colleagues like miser (miser in terms of being a gentlemen lah). Will you be proud of him?
I DEFINITELY WON'T.
1. i think it im important that the man i date receives approval from my family, my friends and those who had engage in conversation with him. If he isn't popular among my friends, that is fine, what's most important is he WILL BE popular if he had attempt to befriend them.
2. If he dress in suit and looks prim and proper before work but comes home shag and stain with curry sauce, just how long will it take before i throw in the towel anyway?
3. If he opens the door for me when we head out shopping and immediately leave the door behind even as he knew there was another lady about to walk through, imagine how awkward it would be if everyone that hangs out with the two of you get that kind of treatment. i am certainty not impressed (mind you i open the door for my friends, both guys/girls so long as i am the first in line to walk through)
all in all, i had spent a couple of minutes jotting down the eye-sore un-gentlemenly behavior because i REALLY see him as out-of-the-norm-rude. I know it isnt right to expect every man in the world to give way to the ladies but even gays know how to behave if they are living in the correct society.
my conclusion is to this is due to a lack of EQ. This does not happen to alot of people and the lack of EQ does not stops or hinder your chance of getting a promotion (thus rich, thus travels alot), the lack of EQ also does not stops you from performing in your work or stops you from getting a fantastic wife.
- The lack of EQ, however, confirms the fact that you are unpopular and definitely not the correct person to approach for help.
- The lack of EQ also means its worthless for your few-left friends to share their emotions and thoughts to you because they can expect nothing in return.
- The lack of EQ means you are a jerk who dont know when you have piss "normal" people off when you do not open the door for them or volunteer your car to send your friends off in a rain.
- The lack of EQ means you would never want to be vulnerable because when that time comes i am sure you wont find help from others since you never help anyway
- The lack of EQ means you will eventually dine alone (or ONLY with your family since they cannot get rid of you) because your constant talking will contaminate everyone else's food and nobody dares to eat what you have "mix"
- The lack of EQ means each time you begin to speak people secretly cannot wait to walk away because you will not allow them a chance to speak anyway
- The lact of EQ means its no point asking for your opinion even if you are an important person with relation to a matter. Because asking for your opinion = ONLY choosing your opinion as the solution, there is no other way out.
Einstein in a famous person because he has extremely rare IQ, nobody had been famously known for having EQ thy far.
BUT, everyone knows how infamous you shall be with a lack of EQ. So good luck to you, the ungentlemen