How we were complaining about time moving so slowly, and all of a sudden, a year had passed.
Christmas seems to come too soon, so did National day, NYE and sadly... my birthday =(
i counted my blessing before the end of 2011, the later part of the year wasnt all that blessful but who am i to complain?
i am not usually a optimistic when it comes to family affair, thank God for the people around me to summarize details here and there about some events during the year that had make lives much much bearable. So here's a sincere Thank-you to you-know-who for playing such major roles in my life =)
Some major issues in 2011 include the end of my school terms, a forcefully strong impact, a very new feeling of breaking free, an sudden-enlightenment of growing up. A new found financial responsibility towards contributing to the family, a sudden surge of plans ahead that wouldnt allow to be "think/thought about" while being in Uni.
i found a new job, a good environment with relatively funny and nice people, work wasn't a chore, and thank God for this opportunity else i would be stuck looking out for the other options i had. I was offered:-
- a job by Charles & Keith - a position that allows me to fly around and work on creating branding,
- a job by Panasonic - a supply-chain managment exec that deals with customer from the start till the end of their order processing,
- a job in NOOCC - a marketing exec that pays well but really does nothing besides household labor and receive endless unreasonable request from the boss, whom i believe does not have what it takes to manage a business
- a job in The Learning Lab - nice people, good opportunity, but a silly decision by me to leave due to unfavorable long term goals of mine.
- a long term position in Takasago - the company i've served for the past few years and who had paid most of the school fees for me... i had to let go of these because i felt i hadnt experience the world outside and by commiting to this job, i would want to serve a lifetime there.
Apart from the job, in the year 2011, bbbbbbbbb and i took a more serious outlook towards creating a future together, i wouldnt say we have a concrete plans as of now, but i am glad he finally took this move, and i am glad my mind is pretty much set on the partner i foresee myself spending my life with <3. Is it really too early to tell or make such decision? i dunno how the other think, neither do i confirm if whatever's set in my mind now is a impromptu decision, but what i do know, is that this guy (Rodman, my boyfriend of 3~4 years) had been through so much with me, and that i've knew about his existence for almost 10 years now...... not much of the impression has changed..... perhaps something about him had already been deep set rooted in my mind, but if one day either one of us had to bid goodbye first, i am certain he will always held an important space in my heart.
in the year 2011 i lost a couple of friends - i guess i just wasnt so keen on trying too hard to win them. Some friends of mine proves to be heaven and earth for a portion of my teenagehood, then comes the times (in 2011) where i seriously thought about how they really stand as a friend - true friends? best friends? close-knitted friends? friends that waits for me to ask them out? friends that look for me when they need companion? Then those that had pops-in- and -out....i said Goodbye..... or more like, i waited to see when they will realize true friends stays.... if not the physical person then the soul,..... true friends are those you think about when you think of "friends"
in the year 2011, i came to realize friends like Clarinda...... cannot be missing, i dunno why it took me this long to realize she was the missing puzzle between Pau and i....... Pauline and i are not best friends, we are not the kind to stick around, hangout tgr, dress the same, or the sort to benchmark against each other... Pauline and i bonded really well, but with Clarinda, i realise it makes a complete picture... i dunno how we could all sit tgr and talk like nothing really matters... but i am glad that besides the special bond they share with each other, there is another portion of this friendship we 3 share that is different from the one they held tgr,... complicating.. IKR
in the year 2011, i texted my best friend Sharon and admitted how much i've missed her.... our friendship wasnt strong to withstand the obstacles in our lives. So this year, we strived tgr to make it works, infact, i sort of treat this affair like a man chasing a girl... both of us, we pursue to meetup, to bond and improve on the friendship.
Generally speaking, 2011 wasnt bad at all, i hadnt got much to complain cos i've been to worst. So for 2012, i wasnt very demanding, all i had hope for was for life to be better than 2011, afterall, i have my other half to accompanied me through, and without him i might have to deal with everything differently.
but i have him , dont i?
in 2012, here are a few things I need to note, (just to share):-
a exerpt from a description about me from one of my close friend reads:
"i think you put your partner above you, and you like to fuss over the needs of your partner. and by sharing your burdens and emotions w your partner to will him to help you and this bonds the two of you. and you will not speak bad of him no matter what, because you think and care for his image in front of others. you treat your man like arm candy, you will make him feel like your prized possession that you cant wait to bring him out and show hiim off to the world.
[3:31:24 PM] sgkristal: i think i am comparing myself to my pals too much.. when someone close has somthing ithat i love.. i talk myself out of thinking that way.. along the way my bf may say something that will triggered the memory and i'll blow out of proportion and gets emo..will immediately feel like life is not good.. i am too boring..oh.. and i am always afraid my bf will leaves me
yeah i think your "mood" changes very fast. and everything and anything can trigger something in you. its very hard to grasp what you want or need.and then you dont communicate it effectively... and then you will just like forget it, and try to keep it within yourself hoping it will go away or smthg.
so i guess that very day i learn something about myself.. my insecurity about life, my sudden loss in confidence and my running away from problem, all these seems to describe me perfectly well this 2011..... i dunno if its a good thing... but all this honest feedback from friends makes me wanna change again...
and so........ on top of wanting to change to be a better person.... i also .... chopped .. off,... my.... hair!
Whats a better way to start a new personality than to change your outlook first right?
i dun exactly love my hair now... but i feel different.. and being different is good....
friends who treasure friends starts chasing them back in the year 2012..... i will need to start by penning down some goals in life for the year 2012.... shall be back to note it down =)
and a heartfelt thank you to those who bothers to finish readng this long.. and draggy.... post...
you know how much it meant to me.... right?