Monday, January 28, 2013

turning older..

Dear Chngies,

today i woke up with a heavy heart, then the whatsapp msg came and it was a confirmation that the boyfriend is leaving to Indonesia, on the week i am turning a year older. =(

Though i am not complaining !!!~ (YIPPEY!!!~)  there are soo many dear friends out there lending me a hand that this year birthday is going to be exceptional different unlike the past 5 years..
  (note from director: "ok.. emo again from here") then again, i recall how this is the second birthday he would have missed ever since we dated - with the first in 2010 as he left behind most of his responsibility and took on a challenge to graduate within a year of education with a prestige degree in Mechanical Engineering - all with the promise that it was for the good of us both.... 

I guess i should have known earlier, how the start of that journey would be positive, yet tougher than if he hadnt leave, ever since the boyfriend's return, he has uphold his promise to us all, work on really really hard for a career path that he saw himself taking... he is mature man for his age if you ask me.      A couple of years ago, after a fit of temper, i demanded he jot down in black & white where he sees himself in (in the near future).. and believe it or not, till this point in our lives, the future matches his premonition...     My boyfriend loves his career and sees himself putting in double the effort.. Today, he was assigned a duty by his company to assist his superior to complete a task over in Indonesia, and so he left - also for the future of us both.. 

 So why am i complaining? i am enjoying the fruit of his labor too (heehee.. before i side track to my "benefits" i better watch my actions.. )     .. Instead of sitting at a corner hyping about my not-so-lonely birthday, i have decided to take on this challenge #LikeABoss..  and here are my plans.. (maybe only ONE for now.. )

I have decided to embrace the next 6 days like i have lost a very good boyfriend because i had not cherish him enough - not like i am admitting something here. I shared this with Clar now that her beloved boyfriend has return to the Germany while she stays behind for the next 3 weeks.

"Let's do a dry run on losing our boyfriend.. you know how you tend to regret something only when you lose it? Well, in order for that NOT to come, we should experience how hard life will be like if before it can happen.."

Clar says i am a odd ball and only i can think of something so negative and make them sound like a healthy & promising task. I have got to admit my insanity has gotten the better of me, but i am not cowarding to my weakness, and instead of allowing the negativity to engulf me i am going to embrace the negativity like its a form of good challenge. And with that note we started making plans on making our loneliness feels right - by meeting up the same evening, spending time acknowledging the importance of our better half =)

In addition, along with turner old (*sobx... reality MUST sink in now.. WHY*) i am also roping in the support of my closer friends, who have volunteer to be on guard duty keeping a close watch to making sure the "birthday" come and passed like a breeze.. i have an array of program lined up, and only too excited to execute them every day. It's gonna be good, but never the same without you Mr Goh. 

So you see how i appear like there are two Kristal talking right now ? Yeah, that's the odd germs i sometimes dispense, that can be rather fun if kept under controlled.

Tata for now, while i begin my "survival  of the loner" test.. i'll keep you posted!


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