Monday, July 24, 2017

Still week 36... or 37 if you like to see it that way

i just wanna documents that the weird feeling of pressure tugging below is increasing, and if i may interpret it correctly the baby is forcing its head in position.  I am also suppose to be on a lookout for the amniotic fluid leaking which is a sign of water bag bursting. So far i would have had 2 episodes of suspect leaking amniotic fluid, but because the signs to lookout for (suppose to be clearer than urine!? not suppose to smell like urine?) i cant really tell. 

The dry cough have been sustained for a while now, my colleagues are just impressed more than annoyed with the persistence (29 days counting from the day i first had my sore throat & went on an MC). My GM was away most time overseas, and even she cannot fanthom how she will return to work & i still sound like a seal. 

What's even more annoying is that i caught a flu bug the night before, accumulated by having a sick sister to stay over last week plus receiving my husband back from the Army, still down with cough & flu. Rodman says its the combintion of 2 flu virus that causes mine. And somehow, its a blessing in disguise as i found myself deeply asleep due to the flu med i've taken. Plus the flu created lotsa of mucus which clearly is a remedy for the throat that causes the dry cough. However, i should not jinx it by talking more, i do hope i fall asleep as well as i did the night before tonight. And by that i mean skipping my usual 3.45am pee +insomnia attack. *fingers crossed*

Today i've roughly decided on the full month celebration for Sonia, spoke to GM about my pending break from work (counting down 2 weeks).  It's high time to focus on nursing myself to bring Sonia safely out, but i fear the overthinking me might end up worrying about other unnecessary things. That' what i dislike about myself actually, hence i prefer to stay at work cos i dont overthink. 

i know i am not the only person who would say this, but i don't usually admit defeat to fear either... but pregnancy is a scary process, and if possible i will like to think less, and act more. i pray i wont let all the free time get into me & my hopelessly creative mind. 

Then in addition to all this, i am slightly stressed out by Rodman determine mind to celebrate his daughter full month plus open house warming at our new nest, just 30 days into my recovery. The thought of fake smiling & pretending to enjoy & immerse in the season is just too much for me at this point. I wont recover from my post-natal figure, i would have just figured how to treat that little human right, and i am still on the road to recovery & already i need to do all the other "social" stuff of entertaining our family & friends.. 've tried asking Rodman to push the party to the foyer downstairs but he says it defeat the purpose of house warming without getting into the house, moreover i cannot celebrate the baby's full month PAST her full month... sigh pie.. it sucks to be me at this point really. 

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