Tonight after 11.59pm my phone will most definitely remind me that i have official embark on the journey towards third/final trimester. It has been a whirlwind of events leading up to this and while i am glad to be counting down till the end of it all, i am not sure if i will miss this feeling of being pregnant.
I know its my second pregnancy so for so many of my friends/family, there is no excitement to this. We planned for this baby, we worked for it, embarresse to share how we #ttc but it has alot to do with monitor your fertility chart, taking temperature, stocking up on pregnancy test kit & ovulation kit.
#ttc is not a fun journey, despite how we "reminded" ourselves to take it easy and let nature takes its course. you know deep down roughly just weeks since your last menses that its time to babydance. All in all, its a no excitement journey leading to the successful 2 lines on the test stripes, and once you finally embark on the pregnancy journey, you look back and wonder had it been done more momentarily, would it then spell fun?
Anyhow, why am i complaining right? i have #ttc for almost 11 months especially as soon as the lunar calendar started for a piglet baby. God knows but the thought just came to me - i have always had a thing for piglet, always associating them with being abundantly blessed with luck without as much as lifting a finger. Rodman - on the other hand - never really had a definite thought on this matter. He was always game to expand the family, and we were both not that sort of person who worries too much about getting on in age and wanting to get the deal over and done soon. HEck, we were immersing in the joy of seeing Sonia grow into such a fine young lady that it never really did occur to us that we will get the same sort of luck if another baby comes along.
There were many things i had done repeatedly with both pregnancy, with the intention to be "blessed" with the baby spell again . One thing in particular will remain a mystery to you and me - as much as it did to those who learnt of this encounter while i am in it. Back in November 2016 when i discover i was pregnant on the pregnancy kit, it was a month after Rodman& i planned a major major oversea trip that encompasses both our families to Taiwan.
It was a 12 days long trip that really really give us zero change to babydance, i had suffer a miscarriage just 2 months back, due to a medical condition that render me unfit for pregnancy. Nevertheless, Rodman intention for the trip was to bond both families since we have dated and been married for a while. Whereas for me, it was a trip to cleanse myself off the evil luck that shall lurk around me since my operation/ miscarriage. During this trip, the driver/tour guide brought us into a 妈祖 temple that was really just a practice any local will do when they have visitors from oversea.
You see, i - like any other singapore citizen- am a huge fan of Taiwan variety show. My family and i are particular fans of strange encounter/ghost story sharing shows that are usually aired on TV near midnight and when the setting is so right you get very very affected by the encounter the star share. It is during watching shows like this that i gain all the knowledge i have of the different deities around the world that locals worship. In this case, i was very familiar with 妈祖娘娘 by the time i made this trip to Taiwan, knew of her presence & her strong influence in Taiwan. Not paying too much attention, and just watching how my parents & parents-in-law did their prayers, i played along and made a small contribution. It really wasnt big of a deal because the rest of the trip remain as it is and we all made it back to singapore and live happily ever after.
By november 2016, after we tried really hard on #ttc and suffer the miscarriage, i was really no longer keen to be harping on this baby matter. i was darn focus on leading a healthy life after finally removing the tumor that has been bugging me since 2012, then we were greeted by surprise with the news of Sonia's arrival. Strangely, ever since that day whenever something happen (be it during my pregnancy or when Sonia is a baby/toddler), something deep down inside me found a deep guilt towards that particular visit to that particular temple in Taiwan. I wouldnt say i am not a devotee to local deities and i most certainly pray and worship like every Singaporean would do - it just really puzzle me that inkling feeling of NEEDING to head back to that temple doesnt really go away.
Fast forward to 2019, when the opportunity strikes again to visit Taiwan thanks to work, i didnt hesitate one bit to propose to Rodman to join me alongside this trip post-meeting so i can make a visit to THAT temple. by this point, my parents would have heard of my very determine intention to revisit that temple and supported & back my decision. Mum even hinted since i was back to trying for a 2nd baby, this trip might just be God- sent.
and it was, becuase like you all know now i am finally expecting another baby this November, which works out just like it did the very first time - i got conceived AS SOON AS we return from that Taiwan trip, my heart was darn sure it a positive before the line even show up on the strip, 2 day BEFORE my menses was due. It ain't no miracle, but i was darn sure i will be planning for a trip back to Taiwan when 2nd baby is old enough to travel.
If by now you are thinking that i might have "ask for it" on both occasions - i did not. My heart cannot lie for sure, but as i was praying i never once did straight out mention i was hoping to get conceived. I guess we can all agree that God knows what we want without even specifying it, so i can tell you now you dont need to state your address and name & DOB while praying because them Deities know it already hahhaa.
This post has drag from sharing my last 2nd trimester to marking down this strange encounter that i have experience both pregnancy, i guess i just want to mark it down that alot of things in life are not based on our own luck, but sincerity does move mountain and things might change when you dont realize it.
Here's onward to final trimester let's go!
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