Maybe i am superficial, but there are some areas i tend to notice while hanging out with male friends that makes me cringe.
It could be that they see me as another one of those female friends or perhaps the lack of emphasis on etiquette is a common problem among along of SG mens.
Gladfully, the man i married has no problem with etiquette, all the more reason why the effect on the men when they didnt do such things is amplified.
Take for example, opening doors for women
we are not feminist & just because a small proportion of our species decided they are done allowing mens the chance to prove their gentlemen-ness, does not mean the men can slack & walk ahead slamming the door in our face.
This, i said with a heavy heart because even friends that i meet on "daily" (work together, stay nearby..etc) have this issues.
And to top it off, because i see myself as less of an importance to this guys because i.e i am married, they have a steady partners, i make the effort to open the doors for them, holding it open while they walk past me without even a "thank-you"
Men, do you really think this is the era you can slap on some lip balms, wear pink/purple tee from Abercrombie & declare it your favorite shades of fashion & then struts your assets carrying bags on your arm after anyone (men & women) who keeps the door open for you, hold the lift till you enter, holds the food tong in the buffet line till you are done selecting the biggest lobsters before moving onwards to next dish? I dont get it, a simple "thank you" is all it takes for you to be a gentlemen, or have you took the meaning of gentlemen as being men that are generally too "gentle"?
Apart from this "problem" that seems to exit with the guys i befriended, i also notice mens are way past the stage of sharing, in this sense the sharing of food. i enjoy buying an extra set of breakfast for a friend if we are meeting for the rest of the day because, lo & behold, i cannot have you staring or salivating at my food without offering to share them with you then minding the fact that i have smear them good food with my own saliva. but this guys, really, this guy, he takes the breakfast like it was a matter of fact - then every full brown moon offers to buy breakfast in return. Only the moon does not turn brown for God knows how long so with that schedule on the Calendar, i also did not enjoy the fruit of sharing after offering him breakfast for months. I can count the no. of times he decided to treat us a round of drinks but reminded us, like a cranky old radio on repeat, that he has paid off his "debt" with this treat.
It's a pain, really, to keep my mouth shut trying not to "remind" him in return to take into account all the food we have share with him for this God-sent cup of free drink. Nevertheless, when this happens i can only put the blame on myself for expecting kindness to beget kindness but God forbid mankind to think this way. Some people need to be push by pressure, and only if the society comes together to act unanimously like a gentlemen can we expect him to do the same.
Of course there are always the flip side of the coin for every form of argument, and i accept not every men thinks it was "worthy" (seriously, you need to find worth to appear a nice guy.. really?) to be gentlemen since i am of no value to them. Some men may also find standing on the side of the road that has first contact with the traffic when walking with a woman as unneccessary. Some men told me it is a form of training for when the woman is alone without a man to help, and all the other form of reason i find acceptable....
Which still brings me back the point, do you really need to find the worth for being a gentlemen? Literally? Because otherwise, we will definitely see you the way you want to be seen - as a man who expects everything in return. .. and of course, if that is the way you want to be recognise, then i'm sorry to think of you otherwise...
man.. you need to be start acting like a man.. period.