Friday, March 07, 2014

I think i really shouldnt eat beef, the mental guilt it has ridden on me plus all the negativity i attracted thereafter is just not worth it. 
I've been attempting get the refund $ from the Vendor since February but to no avail, 
the guilt from owing all my colleagues this money is haunting me
i lost sleep last night, and this whole morning i've replaying the  scene in my mind till i forget i hadn't plug in my earphone the whole of my traing journey to work
this is equivalent to an hour &n a half of silence on the surface
but images flashback in the mind, i am defeated

It's like i have 4 major setback in a single day, 
after eating beef when i am not suppose to, 
i even commented to bbb during our dinner that i hope i am not gettting into trouble for this beef treat, 
i started avoiding beef after being told by the fortune teller 
Then i continue to avoid beef because prior to my operation
i invited a deity to watch over me & to look upon her like a GodMother, but followship of this religion surround her means we have to give beef a miss. 

they say not knowing is a blessing, the fact that i knew i was downing beef when i took those turkish meatball had been living in guilt for a good few minutes, and now i am just associating all that had happened last night to this!

i wish i could cleanse myself off this guilt, and i am crossing my finger i can get through today with ease. Please let me get the refund back for my colleagues, or i cannot move on from this mistake of trusting a vendor that we previuosly worked pretty well with. 


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