RodKris

i Lost my Uncle on 4/8/2006

i haven been updating, sorry pals.

And Jerk, sorry i wont be joining you all at the special event on 8/8/2006 or 11/8/2006
but please, still ask Yi and 182 along. Dun miss out on this once a year event.

4/8/2006
i heard the phone rang at least thrice. Last night i spoke to B on the phone so i was the last to hold on to the cordless phone.
The first time it rang, i answer, Aunty sounded serious, but mummy answered the phone on the other side so i hang up first and doze off again.
The second time it rang, i pick up and hang up without hearing anything
So did the third time.

Then it was time to wake up, i bath and dressed up and suddenly Kristi ask me where mummy is? Both of us assume business had some problem so mummy and aunty were on the phone and she must have left to settle them.

No.

i called her and she answer, have stammering on things i couldn't understand. I was scared.
i shouted to Dad who say called mummy back.
We were too late.

Uncle has been the youngest son in the family. Mummy was the youngest daughter of the family. Mummy has always been dote (an obvious fact) by grandma and uncle.

Then within a year, she lost both uncle and grandma.
When we rush down to the hospital, we were led to a very very private room in the midst of all the other emergency ward.
There he was, lying peacfully on the hospital bed.
I din cry, cos i hated mummy side of the family. But he look like he has been through alot.
Imagine my uncle is only 43, even Dad is older than him, and so is many others in the family.
I stayed strong, very strong, kept my tears while all the others wept.

aunty had informed her son, who was in camp.
i rush out to fetch him from the cab, for the second time in my 19 years of life, Roger (20 years old) look so stern, he stomp his way to the ward, reached there and drop his bag.
Walk fiercely towards his dad, and scold him "you say you wanted to see me ORD, i just enter the army for less than 1 month, how could you leave me alone like this? "

That was it, i cried non-stop. For my cousin is as younger as me, he haven even turn 20.
For 19 years of his life, it was like he and his dad had a wall in between, it's an open fact that they cannot get along or chat heart-to-heart. So we cannot do anything, till that every day he enter the army, he finally grow up and decided to talk to dad.

WE ALL KNOW HOW HAPPY HIS DAD WAS, he even jokily say he can finally die without regret, for his son and him finally make good.

And he just left like that............ Why did God allow the good to go while make the bad stay?
the atmosphere suck, i hate it all, Uncle's feet was cold and white, and he was strip naked, both his hands and leg are tied with a string.

FUCKED I SWEAR THE SECOND TIME I SAW A BODY, IT REMINDED ME OF GRANDMA.
WHY ? WHY LET HER SON DIE SOON AFTER SHE DID?
MY FUCKING HEART STARTS TO FEEL THE PIERCING AGAIN.
THIS SHALL MARK THE THIRD TIME OF MY LIFE I FEEL THIS PAIN,
1ST IS GRANDMA'S DEATH
2ND IS WHEN LESTER LEFT WITHOUT A WORD
AND NOW 3RD

This suck, his daughter had just turn 21 and finally gotten her driving licence, and she din even had a chance to drive them out.

the body had to be transferred to SGH for examination.

we accompany Uncle as the nurse push him to the basement, along the long stretch of carpark and finally to the mortuary where he was left for a night before the transfer.
Then the nurse order us to speak to him, she held Roger's hand and put it on Uncle heart, then warn us for every single tear we drop, Uncle felt the pain once.
Roger was told to tell Uncle to rest well, for tomorrow there was a journey to walk.
Then they finally cover his head with the white cloth,
we cried like hell again/

i spend the rest of the day sewing the pocket of Uncle clothes, he cannot realise he dun have cash with him, so we have to sew it, we cannot cut the pockets off because we cannot allow him to realise he dun place to put his belonging.

5/8/2006
Dad woke us up and we had to wash up, dad drove to fetch Cousin Michelle and Mama, then went to fetch Aunty Lily (Uncle's wife) and Roger.

We head to the mortuary in SGH and await,
the atmosphere there sucks big time.
Everyone was crying non-stop, there were families after families arriving and weeping. There were policemen everywhere.
i dun like place like this, everyone is upset.

Strong big size guys are crying,
young women are crying
Old weak ladies are crying.

the whole room has sounds of weeping,
of phone calls made to other relatives to inform others about the death.


We waited 2 hours and soon manage to finally skip the examination part (which Uncle said before he was scared of )
We move to the back, one strange zone with 6 doors,
when each door open about 3 person will be bringing out a body.
Uncle came from door 4 i tink, we were told to go and identify the body,
we walk up the stairs, into room 4, and he was there, even white
everyone cried again, we confirm the body was Uncle's
the people brought him out, cover in white cloth, and put him into the white van, where the people send him to make up and inject for preservation.

We head back to his House, set up the wake and people starts coming in, eveyrone is upset.
then we did alot more stuff, call up the newspaper, set up the tables, sweep up the area,
Then the lorry arrive again, this time, with his body on the left coverd in white cloth and the coffin chosen on the right.

fear, scared, tremble, this was it!
i finally feel he is no longer with us.
The ceremony to bring him in was long, he was dressed,
his son and daughter were told to button his top for him.
then we had to face other direction while he was placed into the coffin.
Emily (Uncle's daughter) cried like hell, shouting like she was place into fierce fire, her scream make us all scared and more upset, Aunty was crying really badly, she can hardly breathe.

the whole process is unbearable.
but we had to move on in life.

6/8/2006
i went to work, din sleep a wink, had to take turn burninng the joss paper, each paper leads him to heaven, if we stop the procedure, he will stand there, not knowing how to move on
The oil lamp must continue burning, he needs it for directions, if it stops he wont know what's ahead of him.
i work and slept

7/8/2006
here i am now, in the attachment office, asked for an early leave, and a leave tomorrow, on national day and thursday.
finishing up the DKrisS stuff.

People who think they can help me manage my DKrisS for a while please contact me thanks.
Thank you 182 for constantly helping me contact my client.
Sorry Yi for not contacting you for a while.

i'm fine, i just tot that by leaving myself alone for a while, i will tk this whole wake more seriously
For Uncle last hope was probably to die without regret.
So his regret will not come with the wake.