Gifting..

I have been acting all intellectual today,
deepening into thoughts about my life, future & the plans i have ahead.
it dawn upon - once again- to be thankful for the life i have
the man who had picked me out fo the million others,
the job who had selected me out of the candidates who had been shortlist
the friends who sees my importance, value & the joy we can have together
the parents who had no other choice but to learn to love the child they are gifted

today for once, i feel that the best gift  in life are the ones we cannot choose
i'll take our parents as an obvious example,
i talk about trying to customize my kid (i love mix blood face, brownish eyes, sharp nose & v-shape face)
but the truth is my parents didnt get to customize me,
many times we took it as a joke to blame each other for the "breed" we were given
i am 1.52m eldest daughter while my baby sis, who is 8 years younger is at least 1.71m
my mum would shift the blame onto my dad,
who is helpless and i would shift the blame on their egg/sperm
our family is large & the topics we talk about are extensive.
just the road trip to melaka last week might sent a shock wave to bbbbbb
as he tries to drive patiently from Melaka --> SG while my siblings and i
engage in a discussion about cannibalisation, cult & religion.
you wouldnt think too much about it, but wait till you hear the details,
personally i am not too proud of it, but we have our own bit of researching done
and altgr, i concluded my brother may very be the next KKK / Children of God cult leader
he has a way to psycho our mind & has sucessfully create his own followings & belief... eerie max.

Anyway.. ( i am trying so hard to stay on track.. the topic on cult gets me carried away)
today entry is about the gift i've recently send to Phyllis, a.k.a Mee pok.
you see, we hardly meeet and with her flight schedule, it is near impossible
but, whenever we can, we will attempt a short dinner, some gossips done
and it'll all be worth it.
i remember my last session with her, she gifted me a keyring from Coach
it's really pretty & intrinsic, and she explain this was to made up for my belated birthday,
then comes the recent dinner where she gifted me another lunch box- Hello Kitty theme from San Fransico
i almost went berserk in bewilderment, i was staring at the lunch box, checking out each & every lock,
i am fancinated by Hello Kitty, i must be metally 8-yr old.


i dunno what others impression of a gift is, i recall somethng my cousin once told me
we had been bugging him to choose a range of present so we can buy him one for his birthday
and he made is straight to us "dont get me a present, because if i dont like, i feel like i am being force to use it"
this isnt something you can expect to hear from your friends, but from true friends, it makes so much sense
Or it could be just me, who agreed with both hands how i am its compulsory for me to put on
the things that are gifted to me, in order to utlize them & feel treasured by the sender.
but i haave been extraordinarily lucky, i never dislike gift from my friends .

which brings me back to this deep haunting memory of receving a GIANT teletubbies for my 10-yr old birthday party years back,. 

it was GIANT because i was relatively small for a 12 year old. Well, i never fancy much about Teletubbies but back then it was the craze & seeing others with Teletubbies plushies is just pushing my luck.    so we(my siblings and i) placed the giant on top of our double-decker bed & let it stay there........ till one fine day... we heard all the strange stories about teletubbies..... one of the darker ones include them coming alive at night to speak to you.. 

i honestly think this is a true story.. haha.. Teletubbies are so dark that beneath those eyes they look creepy.... and there are those that speaks pre-recorded message as you push the button on their arm, legend has it that they speak non-recorded messages at night & kids are said to translate their messages & work to their command.... 

i dunno what went into my sibligns & i, but we got too frighten of Mr Tinky Winky for it to hang around the upper bed no more... we finally hand it to the nursery in one piece so the kids can play with it in daylight... that was probably my worst experience with gift. 

My friends like to present us with accessories as present, i vividly remember all the Sinma earring in 925 silver i would receive from my school friends and would put on at least once each time. Truth is my ear is highly sensitive to alloy content and i always wind up getting irritation, but it was important to be seen putting them on, so your friends knows you'll wear something they hand pick for you.
So yeah, i' seem to have receive present from Mee-pok on both our meetups and they are both lovely
i can see myself feeling guilty if i have to receive another one..
but i am thankful above all that gift, that we still share a special bond, non-replaceable with material goods
dont get it wrong, i do not count on gift to judge a friendship,
rather, i might in turn be extra thankful if i did not receive a gift when i meet my friends
because it is a gift we share a affinity to actually voluntarily meet while tied up with other commitments
a Gift on meeting is a extra responsibility that i would have to return,
and i am not complaining :)

i remember my most cherish gift from my primary school friends are the music box i receive on my 10th birthday
amazingly, i kept them all till i turn 26, when i try to remove them from the storage we have pile while looking for a house, they have mostly spoil
but i still adore each & every one of them because they use to be my most preciuos pocession,
i finally bid them goodbye in november 2012/.

my precious pearl handed from my Mum is also something i really really cherished,
i use to see my Grandma put them on when i was younger,
and my Grandma is the sort of generous grandma who would buy a few sets of the same pearl
to be gifted to all her daughters
needless to say, when i finally started wearing accessorries, i beg all day for Mum to let me wear her set of pearls,
and i did the same during Chinese New Year, the next CNY and the next and the next
eventually, she could tell i was genuinely certain i was going to treasure it dearly,
and she gave it to me... i now only put them on for CNY or special anniversaries :)

My grandma use to put me in the trolley she use to market, and bring me to the wet market
there, i will learn how to choose the correct pork, vegetables & chilli to make dinner
then after the trip to marketing, she will reward me each time with a gift at the beads shop
the bead shop was my paradise for as long as i can remember anything about my grandma
we would choose 2 packets tiny beads, then she will grant me a fish-line and i would tread my first bracelet,
my grandma made amazing accessories with her beads, i was amateur and my bracelet end up in the dumo after i grew up.
Now, whever i walk past a bead shop, i'll never fail to walk in,
look for a pack of beads & imagine myself making them into necklace again.
The gift from my Grandma is a lifetime memory that i can re-enact as and when i want to, by beading

My boyfriend isnt the sort to surprise me much
during our courtship he buys me present that are pretty predictable (haha) ..
as long as he sees, hear that i fancy it.. . he will make a mental note to get me that for my birthday, anniversaries  & christmas.
but if there is something i am thankful to have him for,
it would be the hardest period that we woman suffer every month.
i get cramp so badly it is isnt to tell with my moodswing & dressing ( i tend to dress in darker colors)
Then without fail, he will present me some chocolates, my favorite kind, the ones with fruits or nuts,
and psychologically it works wonder
Actually, i did a research on this once,
chocolate does indeed helps to heal the cramp & keep one calm
so i am thankful he remembers his duties to take care of me & my health :)


you know you are bliss because you are bless with great people that makes you happy
Everyday i try to find a reason to feel bliss & i found them
most time i am thankful to be alive after all the health scare
but most importantly, i am thankful that i wasnt alive but unhappy
i was alive & filled with so much happy stuff, happy people & happy thoughts.
It is easy to sink back into that black hole anyone had once be,
i sometimes go to bed fearing i might wake up being depressed ,
but then this part of me feel i wouldnt, because i have been gifted a life to live
and previuosly, had i been living in the sink hole, then a life wouldnt matter, its only a life
now, i want to count my blessing because i cannot help feeling sorry for the old Kristal who did not treasure what she had, and only look upon what she doesnt.

i dont despite my old me, becuase i am proud of she eventually become - ME! :)

~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~

Wheee.. end of May!

Argh... such fine start of June
it must be psychological, but june
gives that empthatic feel that makes me feel so console
someone/something notices just how hard May is 
Thank God it went by.. 

This morning i text some of the people i so cherish, 
sending well-wishes & offering some luck for the good ol'june
PaperStop in particular, offer no condolesence as she advise how
she detest the month of june, only to look forward to July 
The irony... we women refuse to grow old , 
but we cant wait to finish a year either!

The past weekends has been fun-filled
thou i cannot put into words the elements that had made it so fufilling
i spend the entire week within inches from the boyfriend, 
who have notice how i am such a major huge fan of his fanclub.. (
i am the only member too)
We spend friday playing tennis with his workmates
whom i have now seen as friends that are real fun to hang out with
Tennis wasnt as successful as the other times, 
and my back-hand... man that needs some serious tuition
The atmosphere at The Swimming Club was really cosy, 
So much so we are hoping someday in the near future
we can join membership with a club equally fun, 
just chilling the weekend away playing sports, eating delicacy & utlizing the facilities available
The kids are equally amazing, 
there were at least 3 failed attempts to keep the balls within the court, 
and each embarressing moments sees a kiddo running up to the court, with a ball in hand and smiling through their empty teeth brackets, 
with the heartwarming "here's the ball you've threw out"
At one point a kid, with his crowd of "hide-n-seek" friends cheering him on
ran into the court while we were playing, 
gets on his feet & uses a tee he was holding to grab a frog that was leaping around... 
man.. i was terrified of frog, but i am attracted to watching him catch the frog too... 
childhood... i bet they had their best. 


We spent the friday night at my place, grabbing supper,
feeling guilty over eating supper then falling asleep immediately
how not to get fat?!
The next morning we left my place early to town
cos bbbb was dying to catch a movie and so he book F&F6 the night before, 
for an unearthly 1pm (unearthly cos it was saturday!) in The Cathay
really amazed by his planning thou, 
we aint the couple you see spending $$ in town on a regular weekend, 
most time we are too petrified by the crowd
and too embarress by the past-fashion pieces we were wearing, 
did you even see those trendsetters dress in Scape? 
man.. those kids, where do their money came from?

Weekend in town is rather refreshing for a change, 
we had a little argument during mid day, 
resulting in our overlook of carpark timing, 
by 6.01pm bbbbb suddenly muttered "shit", took out his iphone
saw the timing, and said "let's grab dinner in town"
haha.... owning a car in Singapore is difficult,
imagine trying to leave by 6.01pm, only to realize any timing passed 6pm is consider "per-entry" charges
so in short, we spend saturday evening walking from Doby Ghaut over to Bugis street to grab some amaze-balls Thai food at Purvis Street
Then doing some random shopping at Bugis Junction, 
before grabbing some Rocher Beancurd 
then walking back to Doby Ghaut to head home. 
All that in a day, with the big-shot car just sitting nicely in the carpark, 
and that seat cost us $8.12, more than regular cinema ticket. 
... car have a better live indeed. 

Then come Sunday, we were awake bright & early to head over to Luminous Dental for my monthly review. 
This time bbbb had fix an appt to get his basic polishing & check done. 
My time with the orthodontist was shockingly short, 
i took about 1 minute running out of the room to seek bbb's advice on the band colours... 
then running back in & almost running into Dr. Kevin (who turn his back to realize i was missing from the dentist chair.. haha)
2 minuties & his amazing skillful job later.... i present my new color band.. 

i do really like this set better than the previous one... 
bbbb prefer this better, it makes me look happy most time
we had both agree to do a red/orange the next time round... 
perks of looking like ugly betty. 


Did i also mention in my attempt to resemble Ugly Betty i have also set on getting my full-perm done finally
here's my inspiration

i love love love Linna Li's hairstyle and haven't stop adoring them since finding her instagram. 

i wish my perm would turn out half as good as hers

and that would also meaning the current hair reconstruction will have to be doubled up (i am already on :-

- hair mask once a week, 

- hair condition everyday, 

- hair leave-in condition every morning

- hair serum after blow dry every morning

- hair oil after serum every morning

- hair night leave in condition

and can now foresee myself doing more than this lot after the perm... 

Sunday afternoon was spent running errand with bbbb's family

helping his sister prep for her wedding of the year.... 

everything's almost set and her planning are coming into place nicely. 

this is a properous year for bbbb's family as they prepare for 2 weddings now & next year.... 

they are likely to be busy at least till the next wedding is over. 

Once we were done helping out... i drag bbbb out to the multi storey carpark *(against his strong whining).. 

and we spent a good hour washing & scrubbing his car.. 

very satisfied with the result... now all's left is to spark his interest in car wash.. hahahaha.... 

we were dead beat by the time it was done, 

 i really really really like resting on his chest listening to his heartbeat... i dont remember much of our afternoon nap but bbbb told me i refuse to let go of his hand, even when he wanted to get up for a quick relief.. In bbbb's word, when he return from his pee trip, "your hand was searching through the empty bed for my hands and i stood there watching adorable you look" ...  

Looks like my sub-conscious has found her other half too :) mad happy... !!

Apologies that my weekend hasnt sound like the best you've heard... i had so much things to recall & recollect as i rest on my bed after heading home yesterday. The week ahead looks promising even before it begun last night.... 

It's going to sound boring by now but i am going on a road trip 

to malacca (again!) with bbbb but this time, 

i have my entourage of The Chngies (my brother, sister, mum & dad) with me.... 

it's bbbb attempt to introduce the land he always visit to my family and i cannot wait for it to come soon!!!!

Here's to 5 more days of weekday before the weekend i look forward!!! Cheers!~!

~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~

The sunken feeling

Been feeling rather out of sort today, 
mainly stuck with toying the idea of playing the business out of the box. 
I've been knocking my skull so hard trying to figure out what else i can do 
to make SS work, to make it better, to make SS glow. 

It's the budget i've been trying to keep within (not the cost price of the stocks dont worry)
All that extra budget needed to advertise is like a stone throw right into face (more like my pocket)
Sigh, perhaps i should explore finding more ways to fund this dream i am building. 
Gotta keep working, saving & pulling the strings tighter on other stuff. 

and then there is the problem of the medication i am feeding, 
the unneccessary weight gain that ive been keeping to myself 

i am really thankful about the consolation everyone's been giving, 
and i am not sure if it's really the medication that has attribute to the weight gain. 
BUT i'm pretty sure i've been exercizing more than i can ever do (and eat way lesser than i ever did thanks to the braces)
i wouldnt want to accuse Mercilon, afterall the side effects that were rumoured to take place did not happen.
Perhaps it's really the excess food i've subconsciously fed on while sleep or sleepwalking... 

Been texting besties alot more than i did, 
glad to be keeping in constant contact thanks to the variety of communication network. 
She's a real doll to hang out with, 
and her endless supportive cheer-me-on keeps me going strong. 
So thankful to have the friendship going strong for the past 13 years, 
i must have been lucky to have been rewarded with so much goodness this life :)

And there is the man who is ever ready to hear me talk
i could go on for days on the same old topic that he never understood (think shopping, woman obsession with shoes, politics at work) and he will nod in agreement, understanding. 
Though he will never be good with words to cheer me on
This man is a gem, because he thinks and sees what i am trying to say, but he cannot translate his response to them in a way we can both understood. 
But he never stood me down, he could jump his thoughts straight to the summary "as long as you dont regret what you are doing"
and that was all i really need to hear, someone to stand by me when i feel like i was ready to jump off the cliff, 
this man, this gem, is mine:)

I know my mish-mash of thoughts is getting harder and harder to put into place,
i'll never stop for a second to take a breather, 
the brain just works all day long. 
I want achievement, i crave for it so badly. 
and right now i have all the backing i need, 
that is all that i will need to keep me going on. 
all i can say is, with bbb's acknowledgement, 
my family's silence support, 
my best friend's constantly checking out on my progress
my cousin's supportive backing
i have nothing to fear, absolutely nothing. 


well... except for cash, i need cash support, so i am exceptionally glad to be working & working in an environment i can accept, 
where the colleagues are especially nice, 
and their partners are equally cool. 

i'm tempting to leave the buzzing city for a while, 
and i cannot wait for the long vacation in October 
bbbb and i will head back to the very place that tested our
endurance for a lasting relationship
we will explore new places in the old town we use to stay together
i am praying so hard that SS will see the light by October, 
because deep down i am pretty sure i cannot spend
fifteen days away from this red dot & completely leave the business alone. 
i do want to give myself a break, especially with this vacation i so craved for, please let SS work by October. 

sigh.. all that sunken feeling is back here again... i', signing off.. 

Cartharsis!

Learnt a new word via blogreading today, fell in love with this word and am trying to blog based on it. Renewing my emotion this thursday so as to look forward to another awesome long weekend .. argh... life's little surprise :)

I'm extremely proud of my revived interest in blogging. and it has been 3 consecutive day since i do so? ( albeit the lack of pictures, i am lugging my digi-cam to Malacca tomorrow, hoping i can capture some good pictures already!)

So yesterday i went on a freeride (thank you besties-in-law) over to Besties' new hood, the house is completely undone (undone is an understatement because we cannot even pee in the toilet - yet!!!)

I honestly love random outing like this and with the company of my favorite people [[yes Ah Cai Shu (A.k.a besties-in-law) earn his favorite now that he is married to besties]]. We sat in the living room, making random imaginations of where all the furnitures will be placed, i sat in awe of the dream this 2 are living & started dreaming about my dream house.     As with all the Singaporean, the "custom" here in Singapore is to build your house before you build the wedding. The lag between applying for a flat & getting the keys are unexpectedly near, and a lot of relationship are living in denial juggling between [sealing] a life partner & building a home tgr.      Fortunately for my 2 favorite people, they are about to mark their 10th year of dating (that is equivalent to 9 years of courtship & 1 year of marriage... creepy)    and so far their plan have been moving at a significantly healthy pace.      I am feeling lucky looking at them discuss their home ideas, it makes me excited for the day bbbb and i do such thing (no.. no luck with future plan yet :) we are building our dreams remember?)

Anyhow, we gobble pizza down while chatting (that give birth to 3 new ulcers this morning, thanks braces!) and besties took the measurement after measurement & excitedly share the little project she is working on (think.... entertainment room ..!). i cant wait to see their hood embark on the next phase of renovation, where all their customization ideas are brought alive by the trusted construction company they've engage their help with.    Building a home, as it is put, is a real chore (fun chore )

Oh, and after handing the dress Besties equally love, i feel a strong urge to keep one for myself too, so the very next day i put them on and can i just say how i really love this piece?! the cutting is amazing (for a petite girl like me) and the length feels like it was made for me... haha...   here's my OOTD 

Really adoring the pocket details, and price only at S$18, this is a real steal (a loss for me honestly...  but this is one attractive piece i have to share!)

Cant wait to receive the pictures from Besties when she don them on, she is much taller than i am and i bet the overall feeling is different. I matched my outfit with a thin headband and tied my hair up in a high ponytail, the aim was to drive the feel away from a ordinary working dress and i must say i feel a lot younger wearing them :)

.... on an other note, feeling rather zonk at having to give the secondary school metup a miss. 

Due to an important matter,i will be accompaning bbbb off to Malacca tomorrow morning, i hope i wont be a white elephant there and be of use when help is required, you'll hear alot of me heading to malacca cos that is where bbbb's father is from and because they own a house there. Anyhoot, i hope i can make up for another meetup with the peeps once i return, really miss them all after not catching up since we all graduated ions back.. 

now it's time to head back to reality.. ttyl blog

~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~

Today i feel like blogging, thank you for reading my aimless blog entry :)

I've always been a fans of silly, unrealistic romance novel where the male lead went through all odds to win the female lead's heart, and they live happily ever after. Whoever thought, that at age 26 i'm only a self proclaim fresh-working adult who had only bid goodbye to graduation last year?

This year has seen me passing each day barely realizing the night is falling, i have been picking up on my running regime in preparation for more line up of runs happening past mid-year. The most significant run will be that of the Race-Against-Cancer, of which i'll be taking part with the support of the next man i lookup to  apart from Dad.    i dont see myself as a survivor but i want to preach the feeling of having gone through  the torment of living in fear only to face up to it so boldy & confidently, that it no longer matter :)

Perhaps it was the luck i had with me that day, after sharing with the running team at work about my intention for the upcoming race, i have alongside me, the precious support of 4 more colleagues who will jointly race against time on 24th july to compete for the company's team race.    It all started with something so small and insignificant, and now i can look forward to the race in july to celebrate "against Cancer" and to share some bonding moments with my colleagues who are so supportive towards my "mission".

Also in the thanksgiving line (everyday is thanksgiving cos i'm cool like that) is the special support from the friendship that had stood by me for the past 13 year. Few days back we celebrated Sharon-besties' 26th birthday and i was caught dumbfolded after counting the years with my finger/toe nails and finding out we've been the best of friends for half our lives.     It's never easy trying to make a relationship last since both parties have to make the effort, so i find making a friendship last much much more difficult, as with all other more important things in lives like our life partners, our family and our goal/target/achievement. I wanna do a shoutout to my bestest friend Sharon for being amazing at 26, for being my listening ear and always assuring me it's us two against the world.    Thank you for making the world extra special by standing alongside me, for braving my health when i needed support, for putting aside more imprtant things in your life when i needed you more than anything else.  Thank you for assuring me times and again that i matter still, when i had crazy thoughts that there were someone else in our special friendship you replied & encourage me not to think that way, and that you know and feel the special bond that i felt towards you too. 

Thank you for including me in your future plans, for allowing me to reserve my slot in your business plan, family plans and life goal. I wouldnt be telling you confidently that you are my bestestest friend, if you didnt gave me that courage & permission to do so!

This period of the year really wasnt my best, i blogged about how i hated may, in 2006, 2009, skip a few years in between trying to lie low because i couldnt face them each time it happened. I still hate May, no denial, but i know better than to wish for the bad to come, i only wish for it to be subtle, and if some miracle allows, to have may the most amazing way i could have hope for.   So far it had been pretty happy, having divert my attention on things that does not concern myself/

Maybe, just maybe, the month of May is for me to care about the others? If so that i am glad to say i have been doing good :)  There are many good news in line for alot of people around me, and to protect their interest i can only send my well wishes in silence :)   you have no idea how happy i am for all of you

Sometimes, a small part of me still think about the people who should no longer matter, how is she doing? does she remember the past sweet past we use to share, i still have her to thank for the lodging i so desperately need when i was studying for my university, we love talking over booze at her room just planning our future. Some friendship are so vulnerable calling quit is easy. 

All that mish-mash of thoughts are bombarding me right now, and writing them out on this blog will be irrelevant especially if i cannot tell you in sequence how they should be sorted out.


Today i feel like blogging, thank you for reading my aimless blog entry :)



~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~