The sunken feeling

Been feeling rather out of sort today, 
mainly stuck with toying the idea of playing the business out of the box. 
I've been knocking my skull so hard trying to figure out what else i can do 
to make SS work, to make it better, to make SS glow. 

It's the budget i've been trying to keep within (not the cost price of the stocks dont worry)
All that extra budget needed to advertise is like a stone throw right into face (more like my pocket)
Sigh, perhaps i should explore finding more ways to fund this dream i am building. 
Gotta keep working, saving & pulling the strings tighter on other stuff. 

and then there is the problem of the medication i am feeding, 
the unneccessary weight gain that ive been keeping to myself 

i am really thankful about the consolation everyone's been giving, 
and i am not sure if it's really the medication that has attribute to the weight gain. 
BUT i'm pretty sure i've been exercizing more than i can ever do (and eat way lesser than i ever did thanks to the braces)
i wouldnt want to accuse Mercilon, afterall the side effects that were rumoured to take place did not happen.
Perhaps it's really the excess food i've subconsciously fed on while sleep or sleepwalking... 

Been texting besties alot more than i did, 
glad to be keeping in constant contact thanks to the variety of communication network. 
She's a real doll to hang out with, 
and her endless supportive cheer-me-on keeps me going strong. 
So thankful to have the friendship going strong for the past 13 years, 
i must have been lucky to have been rewarded with so much goodness this life :)

And there is the man who is ever ready to hear me talk
i could go on for days on the same old topic that he never understood (think shopping, woman obsession with shoes, politics at work) and he will nod in agreement, understanding. 
Though he will never be good with words to cheer me on
This man is a gem, because he thinks and sees what i am trying to say, but he cannot translate his response to them in a way we can both understood. 
But he never stood me down, he could jump his thoughts straight to the summary "as long as you dont regret what you are doing"
and that was all i really need to hear, someone to stand by me when i feel like i was ready to jump off the cliff, 
this man, this gem, is mine:)

I know my mish-mash of thoughts is getting harder and harder to put into place,
i'll never stop for a second to take a breather, 
the brain just works all day long. 
I want achievement, i crave for it so badly. 
and right now i have all the backing i need, 
that is all that i will need to keep me going on. 
all i can say is, with bbb's acknowledgement, 
my family's silence support, 
my best friend's constantly checking out on my progress
my cousin's supportive backing
i have nothing to fear, absolutely nothing. 


well... except for cash, i need cash support, so i am exceptionally glad to be working & working in an environment i can accept, 
where the colleagues are especially nice, 
and their partners are equally cool. 

i'm tempting to leave the buzzing city for a while, 
and i cannot wait for the long vacation in October 
bbbb and i will head back to the very place that tested our
endurance for a lasting relationship
we will explore new places in the old town we use to stay together
i am praying so hard that SS will see the light by October, 
because deep down i am pretty sure i cannot spend
fifteen days away from this red dot & completely leave the business alone. 
i do want to give myself a break, especially with this vacation i so craved for, please let SS work by October. 

sigh.. all that sunken feeling is back here again... i', signing off.. 

Cartharsis!

Learnt a new word via blogreading today, fell in love with this word and am trying to blog based on it. Renewing my emotion this thursday so as to look forward to another awesome long weekend .. argh... life's little surprise :)

I'm extremely proud of my revived interest in blogging. and it has been 3 consecutive day since i do so? ( albeit the lack of pictures, i am lugging my digi-cam to Malacca tomorrow, hoping i can capture some good pictures already!)

So yesterday i went on a freeride (thank you besties-in-law) over to Besties' new hood, the house is completely undone (undone is an understatement because we cannot even pee in the toilet - yet!!!)

I honestly love random outing like this and with the company of my favorite people [[yes Ah Cai Shu (A.k.a besties-in-law) earn his favorite now that he is married to besties]]. We sat in the living room, making random imaginations of where all the furnitures will be placed, i sat in awe of the dream this 2 are living & started dreaming about my dream house.     As with all the Singaporean, the "custom" here in Singapore is to build your house before you build the wedding. The lag between applying for a flat & getting the keys are unexpectedly near, and a lot of relationship are living in denial juggling between [sealing] a life partner & building a home tgr.      Fortunately for my 2 favorite people, they are about to mark their 10th year of dating (that is equivalent to 9 years of courtship & 1 year of marriage... creepy)    and so far their plan have been moving at a significantly healthy pace.      I am feeling lucky looking at them discuss their home ideas, it makes me excited for the day bbbb and i do such thing (no.. no luck with future plan yet :) we are building our dreams remember?)

Anyhow, we gobble pizza down while chatting (that give birth to 3 new ulcers this morning, thanks braces!) and besties took the measurement after measurement & excitedly share the little project she is working on (think.... entertainment room ..!). i cant wait to see their hood embark on the next phase of renovation, where all their customization ideas are brought alive by the trusted construction company they've engage their help with.    Building a home, as it is put, is a real chore (fun chore )

Oh, and after handing the dress Besties equally love, i feel a strong urge to keep one for myself too, so the very next day i put them on and can i just say how i really love this piece?! the cutting is amazing (for a petite girl like me) and the length feels like it was made for me... haha...   here's my OOTD 

Really adoring the pocket details, and price only at S$18, this is a real steal (a loss for me honestly...  but this is one attractive piece i have to share!)

Cant wait to receive the pictures from Besties when she don them on, she is much taller than i am and i bet the overall feeling is different. I matched my outfit with a thin headband and tied my hair up in a high ponytail, the aim was to drive the feel away from a ordinary working dress and i must say i feel a lot younger wearing them :)

.... on an other note, feeling rather zonk at having to give the secondary school metup a miss. 

Due to an important matter,i will be accompaning bbbb off to Malacca tomorrow morning, i hope i wont be a white elephant there and be of use when help is required, you'll hear alot of me heading to malacca cos that is where bbbb's father is from and because they own a house there. Anyhoot, i hope i can make up for another meetup with the peeps once i return, really miss them all after not catching up since we all graduated ions back.. 

now it's time to head back to reality.. ttyl blog

~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~

SS & bestie's new hood

I am pretty proud of myself for blogging more regularly lately.

I always imagine another my inside my head talking myself as i engulf into a heated discussion, so why not have then penned down to refer back when i am slightly more clear-minded (sounds pretty creepy if i reading this not knowing the eccentric Kristal i can be sometimes)

Been doing StapleStatement more dilligently lately and i am thankful for the discipline to brave through disappointment & disappointment again. It's strange how i feel so useless sometimes, then other times i pick myself up to give it another shot. Times & again i kept the saying from Jamue etched inside so deeply "this first year is the hardest, the first year is the hardest, the first year is the hardest....... "


And the chanting goes on and on, and in order to ensure i can sustantiate this risky hobby of mine, i am down to saving almost zero savings (apart from the monthly fix bills and loan i am paying off) and spending it all on the tiny dream i am building. Concern friends are telling me the risk i am putting myself into, but me being stubborn as usual, decides to move with my gut feeling & try to brave it through.

Afterall, (negative thinking argh.... go away) its not like i haven fail before, but i pick myself up rather fast ...   so let me fall & rise again this time, along with the other bad times :)

Thankfully for the people around me really, bbbbb had been especially supportive as he was also the one that had spark the start of this dream. I dont think i have talked about how it all happened, but here's the shortest ever summary - one fine day bbbb took out a portion of his savings, throw me a challenge because he knew i cannot afford to lose, and there i was, getting all serious and hyped up about StapleStatement.     We use to date all weekend long (we still do hurhur) doing nothing & aiming for our future together years later, but with the addition of this little project, most weekend talks & discussion are on strategy on making SS work. i dare not say i have put in my fullest, and bbbb definitely didnt want to play a major part in this project.    So for now i am only trying, but i know one day i will see the light, cos every small steps is a step closer to achieving what i want :)

Oh, and did i tell you? This does not come cheap, apart from the very very important portion of capital pumped in by bbbbb, i have also been pumping in my monthly salary into making this work, we have to pinch ourselves as we quote the price of our clothes at the cheapest, but this was one of my main point of setting up SS, i never believe in spending big bucks on clothing but have a wardrobe full of clothes all neatly folded waiting to be worn, i never liked buying expensive clothes anyway since i care too little to handwash them in order to keep it perfect.   So SS is like a dream i am building, the sort of clothing i will like to wear, affordable, easy to keep away, easy to put on and wont burn your pocket.   i want to live by that goal when building SS, i hope i wont regret the low price ever, because frankly, i haven't regretted a single budgeted purchase i own thus far :)

In the latest collection 4 for the month of May are several colorful picks i have accumulated, there is a second part to it but we couldnt rush the photoshoot in time to have it launched fully. Here are some of my favorite pick, tried, tested & fits well for a UK8-10 me :)

i really really like the fitting of robertson collar dress, because this is one dress i wont have to try too hard to accessorize, the unique side pockets save me from separating my short body with a belt and instead elongate them. I have not find a good chance to wear them out, but shall do so for an  outing soon, this is really a catch especially with the price, one of the start purchase to sell them only at S$18/mailed. Main reason for this cost?  because i really really really want to see everyone wear them, it is very elegant!!

Frankly, this dress is a really really pretty piece, it didnt look that pleasant during the shoot, wonder why. I love love love the material it was made, extremely thick and when i receive them i can imagine myself wearing them with a trucker cap & high cut sneakers, the SS ladies worn them with a belt and it looks pretty decent, but trust me to wear it like a skat8r would, and you will love it even more....

Now i am determine to don them on one day and show you how i would rather have it done!! Nevertheless, the SS ladies prettify them so well i had to post the pictures :)

i dont want to post too many outfit here cos it will be equivalent to me liking all of them (i admit i love them all lah, if not why i bring it in to sell?!?!)     .. this is a personalized blog, can friends pleaase remind me to put them on and give a clearer idea on how it would look like on a not-so-perfect body (XT wears a UK 4-6 & Ju wears UK6-8) like mine.... standing at ONLY 152cm (without heels) and UK8...... shortie wear!!!~



....anyway.. i am off to bestie's new place later this afternoon to check out the reno & create some mess! I love how bestie & bestie-in-law's lives are well in placed & how the house came at a perfect timing. If they shall permit i will post some pictures of the new BTO empty & unfurnish, as i progress with their renovation. MAYBE you will soon see how a typical BTO can be beautify as 2person work on it with their magic fingers :)


~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~

Today i feel like blogging, thank you for reading my aimless blog entry :)

I've always been a fans of silly, unrealistic romance novel where the male lead went through all odds to win the female lead's heart, and they live happily ever after. Whoever thought, that at age 26 i'm only a self proclaim fresh-working adult who had only bid goodbye to graduation last year?

This year has seen me passing each day barely realizing the night is falling, i have been picking up on my running regime in preparation for more line up of runs happening past mid-year. The most significant run will be that of the Race-Against-Cancer, of which i'll be taking part with the support of the next man i lookup to  apart from Dad.    i dont see myself as a survivor but i want to preach the feeling of having gone through  the torment of living in fear only to face up to it so boldy & confidently, that it no longer matter :)

Perhaps it was the luck i had with me that day, after sharing with the running team at work about my intention for the upcoming race, i have alongside me, the precious support of 4 more colleagues who will jointly race against time on 24th july to compete for the company's team race.    It all started with something so small and insignificant, and now i can look forward to the race in july to celebrate "against Cancer" and to share some bonding moments with my colleagues who are so supportive towards my "mission".

Also in the thanksgiving line (everyday is thanksgiving cos i'm cool like that) is the special support from the friendship that had stood by me for the past 13 year. Few days back we celebrated Sharon-besties' 26th birthday and i was caught dumbfolded after counting the years with my finger/toe nails and finding out we've been the best of friends for half our lives.     It's never easy trying to make a relationship last since both parties have to make the effort, so i find making a friendship last much much more difficult, as with all other more important things in lives like our life partners, our family and our goal/target/achievement. I wanna do a shoutout to my bestest friend Sharon for being amazing at 26, for being my listening ear and always assuring me it's us two against the world.    Thank you for making the world extra special by standing alongside me, for braving my health when i needed support, for putting aside more imprtant things in your life when i needed you more than anything else.  Thank you for assuring me times and again that i matter still, when i had crazy thoughts that there were someone else in our special friendship you replied & encourage me not to think that way, and that you know and feel the special bond that i felt towards you too. 

Thank you for including me in your future plans, for allowing me to reserve my slot in your business plan, family plans and life goal. I wouldnt be telling you confidently that you are my bestestest friend, if you didnt gave me that courage & permission to do so!

This period of the year really wasnt my best, i blogged about how i hated may, in 2006, 2009, skip a few years in between trying to lie low because i couldnt face them each time it happened. I still hate May, no denial, but i know better than to wish for the bad to come, i only wish for it to be subtle, and if some miracle allows, to have may the most amazing way i could have hope for.   So far it had been pretty happy, having divert my attention on things that does not concern myself/

Maybe, just maybe, the month of May is for me to care about the others? If so that i am glad to say i have been doing good :)  There are many good news in line for alot of people around me, and to protect their interest i can only send my well wishes in silence :)   you have no idea how happy i am for all of you

Sometimes, a small part of me still think about the people who should no longer matter, how is she doing? does she remember the past sweet past we use to share, i still have her to thank for the lodging i so desperately need when i was studying for my university, we love talking over booze at her room just planning our future. Some friendship are so vulnerable calling quit is easy. 

All that mish-mash of thoughts are bombarding me right now, and writing them out on this blog will be irrelevant especially if i cannot tell you in sequence how they should be sorted out.


Today i feel like blogging, thank you for reading my aimless blog entry :)



~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~