RodKris

Baby, baby, Sweets....


Reading each page of entry from those blog tears through my heart. i've to agree i get really affected by his words, yet undenially, its unavoidable and true.


When Sweet mention the re-enactment of the how i scream at him through the phone, i slap myself repeatedly on my mind. To be reminded of some unexpected stuff i've done allows me to see myself clearer and clearer each day.


Somehow, i am beginning to be convince there are times i am not myself, perhaps i have split personality.


Does it hurts? yes it does.


i am reminded each time i log in to those entry, the truth to that awful side of me. I know his action may be a warning for me to face up to my true self, but it still hurts to read through those line and then slap myself for doing something so hurtig to him.


Sweet is a emotional guy, he gets really hurt by me, i dun wan any part of him to change, but after all that we've been through, i am prepare to stay stronger than who i already am. For if my emotion are poured on him, i dunno how he can express it elsewhere other than to keep it within himself or write it out.


I hope he continues to pour his heart out on blog, but i fear each time i log in nuttin good comes out of it.


Seems like every single entry contain that bit of sadness.. i am making my love one miserable, who can be a better failure than me..


Maybe, just maybe, i shouldn't never have say it out.



confuse