No i dun have a school uniform, i hadnt tink of one anyway, wearing plaincloth is the best cos i am already looking forward to times i can report to sch in PJ.

School's realy fun, but its the start now so i cant really tell. There were encouragement constantly, SMS-es (thanks to you know who you are =)

Hai^er and i met up to travel to sch everyday, and i was always late, by the time i reach the bus just arrive, but only when i ran my way from the station to the bus stop!!

i am enjoying myself now, and somehow i had amazingly develope a new power to transfer whatever is upsetting me to the back of my brain. In addition to constant encouragement, sometimes i take less than 1 hr before i finally recall why i had throw my temper in the first place.

i had so many late nights, supper with Rodman and Lao-family.... Pauline and Bobo.... Denise, firman and Sharon, bobo's frends.. hadnt had time to upload pic sorry peeps!!!

Finally got it!!!!

My 2nd Lomo-camera- Splitcam, image fusion. The 2nd one after my lomo.

Phyllis Mee Pok!!!! i have no idea how to put it to use, so the first row of film i suppose is to gain some experience,the followin are some example of picture perfect

I am so excited! got it in a mail and it looks like a toy!!! no battery needed, no flash, so far from my coloursplash!!

Hellow my photography companion, we go take take picture soon ok/.

haha.. one more look at the beau

I am moving!!!!~





it comes as a shock to me as it might probably be to you. I remember i had recently blog about my room.


Mum called me that day, finally breaking the news that we will all have to abandon the house by october 2008, reason being because the FIRST person whom the agent had brought to view our house, decided to purchase it, WITHOUT SECOND THOUGHT AND WITHIN HALF AN HOUR.


My Happinese


i hated this house, as you might all be aware by now, this was the actual place i had my worst childhood memory, the thought of it now doesnt haunt me as much as before.


On a side note, i am sure many of you had caught the reason episode of Crime Watch. It shud narrate the closest account to whatever had happened when i was 10. Althought i had joke earlier with Boss Steve that i should have look prettier compare to that of the small girl on TV. Of course, i am sure TV shud have exaggerate it a little here and there.


Whenever Dad mention about selling this house many years ago, i often get excited of the idea. The fact that i still take the same lift where IT happen still gives me the creep. I still cannot accept getting into the same lift with another stranger. NO! let me put it this way- i still CANNOT enter the lift EVEN when the person is a familiar neighbour.


-i hate the idea of standing there waiting for the lift.

-I hate the idea of Dad still having to put on his slippers and walking downstair to wait for me to go home together whenever i felt something was weird.

-i hate the fact that there are still suspicious character around my neighbourhood.
-I hate the rumour that had been spread around the neighbour.

-I hate the barricade around the neighbourhood now that its being upgraded

-i hate having to run home as soon as i got out of the lift.










and finally

-i hate being a coward at the age of 21.

I always oppose to staying yet another day in this house. I kept the door shut whenever i am alone at home.


i hated another second in the room. i was more comfortable sleeping at Cuz than i was at home.




i guess that puts it to my point- i wanna get out of the house


My worries

Oh God now we haven got a place to go to cos Mummy has no intention of buying a house now since property rate is that high


i am homeless..

Life being alone had never get easier. I was thrilled at the idea of visting Crystal as soon as Hai^er can afford

the time. It just makes me happy knowing the life of Crystal's gonna be really good with Mummy Guo Jing and Daddy Xuan Jing. Crystal will soon go back to China with Mummy to get her citizenship done and God knows when she is returning. I am gonna miss her so much.

I chance upon the collage i had made earlier, exactly a week before Crystal was born, Guojing, Hai^er, Hai^er's br Chris and me had met up to have a dinner togethr. We settle dinner at the ever famous Korean restaurant which was highly recommended by Guo Jing back before those days she was carrying Crystal.

You can see from her tummy how big Crystal had been 7 days before her actual arrival. Mummy GuoJing was happy and bouncy, it makes me wonder in amazement how this life inside can adapt to the silliness of Mummy GuoJing, whom we all (the class of BI0403) had always known as "Nai Ma" as she was always taking care of us.

Being older than us back in poly, Nai Ma never fails to make sure all of us are well-fed, she will bring sweets and cracker and smuggle them into lecture hall, then pass the sweet around till we are all contented.

Its amazing how she could break the news one day that she has gotten married and before we could even cheer, Crystal was on her way.

The day Guo Jing was admited to the hospital, i was jumping with excitement back at work in Canele. I tried really hard to contain my excitement by keeping myself busy. Doc had advise she shall arrive that thurs afternoon but naughty Crystal finally break her way on saturday morning. Mummy Guojing decides to opt for Caesarian as the Baby's heart beat was beginning to deteriorate stuck in Mummy's womb.

Baby Crystal Yu Xin was born on August 2nd 2008. She was a extremely cute baby with very deep dimple. She was 3Kg, healthy and extremely hungry. Hai^er and i had the opportunity to watch the entire process of breast-feeding Crystal. Sometimes she suck really hungrily it produces loud embaress sound. Mummy Guojing look at us in embarressment, but i was frankly more amazed at her braveness.

Every Mummy deserve some praises, especially Mummy GuoJing, who had came alone to Singapore, filled with determination to learn some thing and deciding to reside in Singapore just so that she could bear more baby in China when she returns (Due to their one-child policy in China)

When i see tears in her eyes as pain filled her swollen **** while she allows Crystal to drink her milk, i suddenly respect every Mommies on earth. Their determination to takkaire of their kid and heck-caring about the pain makes me wanna prove myself better.

Oh My God, I miss Crystal Yu Xin so badly now... i shall be a baby-sitter full time. Your Baby is definitely in safe hands as i cant love them enough.

Signing off..... You have Kristal.

Just got home from "Money No enough 2"

and to tink i always hated local film and vow previously not to catch them,
i've decided to tk the chance to catch it anyway (prior to some reason =)


the movie make me cry so badly i inwardly felt so so so embaress to leave the cinema at the end of the movie cos the eye were swelling like chao-siew-pao, my eyeliner were badly smudged and i look damn awful.





Anyway this movie makes one cry, me especially due to the following reason:-


p/s for those who intended to catch this movie pls skip this paragraph cos i will reveal pretty much the genes of the movie.


1. Grandma very nice to the family, steamboat dinner : our family use to hold gathering every saturday at Grand's and the kids will play together while the adult sit together on the floor, sometimes talking about society and other times playing mahjong. Grandma can make the best curry in my entire life and i remember how each and every curry she cook pair with white rice and red bowl.


2. Grandma gives son money when they need help and promise to keep it from the other son: since i was a kid, i grew so attached to my Grandma that i was placed under her care everyday till i was into nursery, after my nursery i was "posted" to her house every weekend as Mum needed the break from the house from too much kid. My brother and i are a 7th-month Ge-tai each time we get together.


I often see how much she save each penny just so she could donate it into the donation tin, i was often offer the job of dropping the coin into the can. I would secretly complain to my Grandma that Mum wasnt giving us enough money to spend and i haven got enought toy. Needless to say at the end of the weekend i always return home with more gift and in better shape.


The adults often quarrel about how they were going to split up the profits from Granddad's company after he passed on. I 've seen the agony on Grandma's face as she sits helplessly by the marble stool, unable to have a say in anything. That was when i learn she probably has a share in the company but refuses to accept the money, and that was when i started to hate adulthood.


3, Grandma begins to lose memory: i remember Grandma often dialling the number to my house asking to speak to me and reminding me how i was visiting her lesser. I was in my secondary school then and was occupied with School band, so i gave her the same excuses over and over again. I made empty promises to visit her as soon as i can but it was useless since Deyi Band never take break from practices.


Grandma had a heart operation once, her heart was surviving on a tickling machine that operates like a clock. The clock pump blood into other parts of the body, taking over the role of heart. She will bring me to the hospital for check up with her, then bluff me into believing blood test was painful. Maybe it really was painful to her cos i saw her tear once with she squeeze out the blood off her fingertip to prove to me blood was flowing. I swear inside my heart i wanna take good care of her. I was about 12 yr old then and when she heard that she brought me to eat our secret food as a reward for understanding her.


4. Grandma was left in the care of children who pushes blame: i never got any closer to my relatives cos i was seeing them as a threat to my Grandma. I vividly remember all the quarrel they had so obviously about discussion of placing my Grandma here or there. I hated them! There was a uncle in particular who cant wait to get my Grandma out of the house so he can sell the flat and gain some money, this is so because he was inherited the flat after the death of my GrandDad. As a kid i had no say in such matters. Grandma was finally placed in a Old Folks Home cos no one else was capable of taking care of her, as they all claim.


5. Grandma was left in a Old Folks Home: i was utterly disappointed in the family when my Grandma was eventually placed in a Old Folks Home, but this was done for the better as the doctor advised she needs to be placed in a special care (right after she had a bad fall in the toilet and hurt her head) Since then, Grandma was a different person, no longer the Grandma who pushes me in her market trolley and brings me to the market. I remember pushing her around in the Old Folks Home, looking at her aimless face, knowing deep down within she no longer gets to eat our secret food together. She no longers yearn for my visit to try her food since she no longer had a home to welcome me to.


6. Grandma hospitalise: i received the news one night that Grandma was sick, it got me panicking as i was able to tink straight by the age of 19. Grandma had suffer a stroke and could no longer talk and walk, she can hardly move a finger nor communicate throught blinking of her eye anymore. When she arrive at the hospital, the doctor confirm she had less than 1 week to survive. My world came crashing down as at the point of time i was awake. I HAD MISS SO MUCH CHANCE TO MEET HER AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, SHE CAN NO LONGER WAIT FOR THE CHANCE TO COME.

When i continously see how the adults are franting over who will take over the duty of taking care of her since they all have work. I GAVE UP ON THE ADULT COMPLETELY. Though i knew i probably no say in making any decision at the age of 19, i assure the adults Grandma was in safe hands with me and i will call them the moment anything goes wrong.

I guess the adult suddenly have a heavy sack off their load, they immediately agreed. Dad and Mum was worried i couldnt take enough care of Grandma, but who else could? Who else knows whats the best for Grandma now?

I spend my days at the hospital, praying to all the Gods i ever remember exist, Grandma survived not only 1, but 2 weeks. By then all the adults again assume she was gonna make it through and decided to relax abit. i could sense something was very wrong, so despite losing almost 2 weeks of sleep by then, i couldnt keep my eyes close for too long, afraid the day might come when her heart stop pumping.

One weekend the doctor told us she was gonna remain a vegetable forever, and was only surviving on the tube inserted into her throat (slit open) for air. I could tell she was sufferring and wanted badly to stop the pain, but unwillingly to let go of her. Such dilemma was hard to take and i was helpless too.

I took the chance and went to pray at a temple one evening when another cousin could offer her time. I told God i wanted to end my Grandma's sufferring and for her to decide when she wanna leave. I told God if He make her leave happily, i will return my blood in return.

The night finally came, 3 weeks into her survival one night when i was almost dozing off when her heart beat skip a beat, i panic for a while and immediately felt strange. Then suddenly behind me i felt cold sends shiver down my back. I saw the shadow of something that resembles my GrandDad behind me but when i turn i saw nobody. I knew Grandma time was almost up but that night was the most beautiful i've ever seen her since her weight loss from a healthy 60plus KG till 38KG at the hospital. Her then skinny face was lighten with beautifulness, and her eye was glued on a image i cannot tell where. I quietly allow the both of them to enjoy their finaly moments together.

Next night i was ready for Grandma to leave, but it still came as a shock when her heart beat suddenly deteriorate lesser, i cried like a lunatic, shouting for the nurses to come. Michelle Cousin was beside me but she was asleep when it happens, i saw for the last moment in Her life her eye begin to close.

Behind close curtains i cried and scream for her not to leave me. Calls were made out and every one had rushed down from their home to see her for the last time. WHO ELSE BUT ME HAD SEEN THAT LAST FACE, THAT LAST SMILE AND THAT LAST BRIGHTNESS SHE HAD ON HER FACE. The nurses finally open the curtain and told me the usual line about trying her best. It hadnt come as a shock but i couldnt bring my feet any steps further. I collapse on the floor and slowly make my way to her. Grandma's hand was warm and it feel so good, the massage i constantly gave her had remove the water retention from the water-drip away.

It took less than 10 min for the warmth to turn into coolness. That was the moment that still haunt me till today.

i was very very affected by her dismissal. The movie brings back all the fondness memory i had of her. The scene when the "Mother" dies in the movie suddenly shoke back the warmness in her hand followed by the coolness. I realise it today i had never ever recover from the day she left me.

i wanna say
i wanna say

i am not suppose to say
i am not suppose to say

i will say it anyway
i will say it anyway

Dear DKS,

haha and dear Pauline,
and Dear Clarinda
and Dear Cuz,





FIREMAN HAS A CRUSH- HE NAME HER DARLIN,

SHE IS CUTE,
SHE IS SWEET,
SHE PLAYS HOCKEY
SHE IS FROM CEDAR GIRLS (PAU I KNOW MY PHONE IS GOING TO BE FLOODED BY YOUR CALLS)


sneaky!!!!!






Dear Pau,

see you this friday for the movie, you will meet new friends, very humourous people.

Dear Humourous People,

Pau is my baby, haha... so make herself feel at home admist the movie and dinner=)










Sorry my blog is getting useless.

i wanna blog about someone no one knows about


ok one person know her, and i personally dunno her well since we've met only once, but she left a serious impact on me, especially now that i discover her frustuation-closure.


You can call her Lao-Sha, details on how i met her i shall not disclose. At first glance she appear to be like any other gal, a taker not a goer. I was initially very very glad she made the first move to befriend me. This was a move that took me cos i was tense at first.


I have never been able to pick out a correct first time conversation with any one i haven met before, but she proves different cos the very first time i saw her, we click! I dunno how to explain the kind of calmness one feels around her, especially if you are stuck in a situation whereby everyone dunno, its like entering a family-based company. I feel immediately comfortable thanks to her warmth welcome, and countless moves to ensure i was feeling OK amist absorbing the familiarity everyone has already developed.


So today i was doing a random blog-hopping and chance upon her blog, for some reason her blog prompted me to keep on reading, and all of a sudden, there was an entry about me.


Can you and will you ever blog about someone you met once, and only for a few hours? I was very surprise and respect her genuine-ity by her words on her blog. Not once had she commented positive stuff about me, she also mention how she was glad i had "join" the friendship circle and now there is a new cast (whether that will happen i wouldn;t know for sure)


I was left feeling really really impress, for the following reason:-


1. Her values about friendship and her concern for every member of her "friend-circle"

2. Her eagerness to encourage and make someone so unfamiliar feel familiar and welcome

3. Her secret tots about her friends, whom she din mention much but i could feel she was really keen on seeing them get lucky,..




i am still feeling blessed, a simple gesture, some very simple words, but an effect so huge i log off her blog feeling ever so so so soso valued.



Thank you Lao-Sha

The BBQ at Aunt's place

The long and outdated post.

The BBQ was held during the time i was feeling really upset by the failed-date (a.k.a the times my entries sounded depressing)

My cousin asked abt Bobo then, but i gave no reply i remember. I told Cuz abt the failed date who decides to disappear from my life (back then la) and she was such an angel giving me support and keeping me accompanied by ignoring her squidhead (her bf) who was there too.

I was such an emo-freak then, worried and confuse as to why i wasnt receving the usual SMS-es. The entire BBQ was overall successful if not for my quiet self that day (regretful)

Anyway it was such a pleasant day seeing couples turning up at the BBQ, such weird feelins Raymond-cuz and i had, feeling all single and un-loved. haha. Raymond-cuz's bro, Joseph had just broken up with his gf too.. So we were drowning our sorrow with Beer (i only had 2 cans.)

I wanted to forget my worries so i volunteerily became the photographer, apologies that the photos din turn out that great. I guess my mood affect me badly.

Those were the days Cuz, Remster-cuz, Raymond-cuz, Joseph-cuz and all of us ran around the house in our panties/underwear, bathing in red-pail, fighting with paper-swords, celebrating birthday at Macdonalds.

Nowadays, Cuz has Squidhead, Remsten has JL, Raymond has no one, Joseph has an ex-gf, i have an excellent ex-bf. WE HAVE GROWN UP SO FAST.

Glad to say i got over that period and is moving on, strong.

Cuz, see how spastic u can be., but i love you still!!!~

Sometimes we learn our lesson through some simple words..


Dear All,

i am in no position to promote nor encourage the reading of the following blog. But she has given me the courage to face up my challenge, to understand when to let go, to appreciate all that i have.

I can only say, the next time i wanna fall in love........ i dun ever ever ever want get hurt, ever.

www.memyselfmine.blogspot.com

i cry a litre of tears, cry so badly i couldnt sleep. i feel so guilty, not appreciating whatever i have, for neglecting those who REALLY care.

Those who have doubts caring for those you wanna care, i despise your cowardly.

Its a nights out with Da Ge after half a day of work, the location was conveniently chosen at Marina Square since i am working at Raffles City.



In order not to look like a tomboy (which all who had seems me assume i am) i have changed into a shorts to match my all black attire.



We had dinner at Pasta De Waraku, there were many verdict about the dinner and i knew i have to comment on it myself.



My conclusion, as well as Da Ge's was that the pasta served were indeed very mouthwatery-tasty. The choices we had also rest assured we are not eating calories per mouthful (even though Rodman claims he need to run quite a bit after the meal)



The drinks serve was a little misleading, or it could be me mistaking the grapefruit juice, it turns out rather awful and very very bitter. I requested for syrup to be added into my drinks and ended up pouring like packful into it? And i STILL din end up finishing them.



I had Seafood pasta and Rodman ordered bake rice, his portion was rather small so it shall fill one up without feeling full aftermath.



We also caught Get Smart, a heartwarming, humourous and fun-filled movie about stupidity, that comes in handy. I enjoyed the movie even though we had to sit at the 2nd row from the front due to the crowd.



After the movie i suggested putting my digi-cam to good use by walking along esplanade and taking pictures. Since Rodman was once a pro, he guided me into taking shots with distinctive angles, which i find rather hard since my lao-ya cam has limited functions.


















































Meet my little pal, the one fellow who accompanied me thru all my jobs, that fellow who brings the key that opens Fabrick on sunday.



he is Dracula, or vampire whatever u call it, and he entertain me well. i found him interesting as and object of concentration admist the plain background outside raffles station.



i m very amazed how he can be such a highligh on that day!!
















































The journey to raffles station was long and crowded, it was partly due to the NDP rehearsal crowd. There were loads of youngsters hanging around clark quay that day, it was nice to be walking slowly on saturday, when everyone else was pacing really fast, finishing their shopping or rushing to catch a train ride home.



















































Here are some shots taken along the journey =)

This lady u see here!!~ is damn........................ sweet!!!

Work was interesting today, but i am extremely tired now!!~

This white guy came in with another colleagues and i was posted to takkaire of the table, the white guy has funny request like "i"ll like my burger HOT!!!!"

He was a little unsatisfied when we serve him the burger before his soup arrive, but it was a mistake on my part since i hadnt indicate on my order list to serve it in order.

I went to his table and apologise and withstand his continous fussy order about everything else being HOT!!! This time i volunteerily asked him if he prefer his latter HOT!!!

Guess what he says :" Let me tell you this, young lady. This gentlemen and i here like stufff in this sequence.... Food to be hot, Drinks to be hot, dessert to be cold, and WOMAN to be HOT!!!"

i was speechless, he then added on: "Thank you very much for your services today, to be frank the lunch was great with a eye candy serving us.... and you ought to know this, your eyes are beautiful, with or without those contact lenses, the frame of your eyes kept me looking.. "

-.-" my conclusion is, he must be french, save the honey save the sugar, his tongue is glib enough. But it makes my day, whether or not he said it to gain discount (which i DID NOT GIVE AH) So thank you French Uncle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok, back to Denise darling, she randomly msg me asking me to take care of myself at work today. Findin it odd, i replied to thank her and ask her the reason as to why she was exceptionally nice today.

Her reply was even sweeter telling me she dun need a special day just to prove that she cares!!!~ SO SWEET, DENISE!! DUN BLAME ME IF I FALL FOR YOU EMOTIONALLY....

haha, the gal really shocked me when she shows up suddenly and pass me a cup of OCHA tea...

i tell you... i melt le ah!!! THANKs DENISE!!!~

=================================================================

Here;s the good news!!!~ shud consider really really surprising, I GOT A PAY RAISE!!!

Like 5 days into the job, whether it was out of sympathy or cos i was doing a good job, thank you MANAGER.

money raise slightly higher, life is very much motivated. All i wanna get this month is a black jacket, someone please introduce a nice PVC jacket that fits one to the deem.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A message to 9139****

Dear whoever-you-are,

Sorry i will not reply to your msg cos i only reply to friends, my blog is meant for my friends to receive updates about my well-being, sorry if you misunderstand the meaning or my blog address.

Please do not msg me again, thanks.

The anticupated Outing

I tink we both felt the same, the really anticipated (at least it is for me) outing turns out ----------------------------------------strange.

i dunno if its cos the restriction was too strong?Whats one word to describe the feeling of having barrier in anything you do? Or maybe cos i was doing the withdrawal symptons thing?

i was trying really hard not to care too much, not to matter too much, not to get over excited too much. And on the other hand, he was not tinkin much, which was helpful since it makes me not wanna think too much.

Life is simple when u tk anyone u hang out with as friends,.................

Work at Canele

Work at Canele gets better each day. Some funny matters include this Myamar guy who boldy asked me out just knowing me for like 4 days? I almost freaked out and secretly msg Fireman even thou Fireman was 6 steps away from me.

And our very own Fireman was SO HELPFUL.. here's his reply -.-"

Fireman: "wahahahha.... good luck!!!"

!@#$#%^^$&*(&*&*

i swear some times along this 5 years of friendship i have ever consider strangling him,.. wahahaha.

And a few other thing happen which i have no idea, Fireman concluded it in a short "no la.. he is crazy.. "

How nice.. -.-"

Also, once after a late night shift, the colleagues sat around and drink. i was one of them holding a Tiger Beer and drinking, sorry that was the tomboyish side of me.

A msg to :)

Dear :), here's a song to share... Soulmate By Natasha Bedingfield

Is it possible Mr. Loveable

Is already in my life?

Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone


Here we are again, circles never end

How do I find the perfect fit

There's enough for everyone

But I'm still waiting in line


Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory

They're all good but not the permanent one


Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here are proof that a woman's room can as messy as a guys'

I remember many months ago when i painted my bed frame i did a quick introduction of the tiny room my sister and i shared. Here's a walkthrough of how it will look like on a messy day.... We shall begin by the moment u enter from the front door, which basically concluded the sq feet of my tiny house.

~ The door wit the disgusting dreamcatcher leads to Kristal's room

Here's one awful sight u shall see the moment you enter the room, my pink bed on the right and destop on the left, straight front will be the electric synthsis as well as electric organ stack together.

No you din see wrongly, i have 5 pillow on my bed. Cos Kristi uses 1 and i use 4.. thanks.

Haha, i am not afraid to admit my strange habit of not using a bolster. I am stuck with pillow reason being because i do not wan to hug them the way we usually hug a bolster.

( here's a side note of hw that stupid habit begins: once i overhead someone saying the function of a bolster when i was a kid. That stupid lady mentioned we use bolster to replace our husband, so we shall hug our husband like this in future. The thought of hugging someone else this style makes me turn off, hence, no more bolster since)

Up close to the window are a stalk of fake flower received on Valentine stuck on the window grill, thanks to Boon Eng and Sherline.

Below covered in a pink cloth is the electric organ we seldom use, and stack below the electric organ in the electric synthesis we often used.

Also check out the Old English wallpaper i have specially for my room. I remembered i was 12 when i cried for 3 days just to prove to Dad i deserve the wallpaper. What an ass.....

The staircase leading to the top of the bed is messy, this was the area i painted pink months ago and the color still stays. ..

No comments about the little space on the left of the staircase, it contain my tennis bag, as well as shopping bags left unopen... hehe

The other end of the bed is real cramp, i haven had the time to push everything nicely and neatly. Basically the towels u see hanging there in pink and blue shudnt be there, but Kristi and Kristal are laid back people and we use it everyday.... wats the point of leaving it else where.

My bed sheet is in stripes!!! Its my all time favourite bed sheet after the arabian pink one i over-used. Aussino provides the most comfy bedsheet of all time.

(side note again... Bolster saw meant for Kristi )

The blanket folded neatly is made by Grandma before she passed on. I was a spoilt brad who dislike rought material so Grandma carefully sewn on a layer on silk underneath the blanket, the print of my blanket are cartoons from "MY LITTLE PONY"

Grandma probably tinks i'll remain a kid for good...

The other blanket underneath mine belongs to Kristi, the prints are of hello Kitty, no doubt!!!

You might also notice the sliding cupboard behind the bed, we had to resort to sliding door cos my room is too small.

Small cabinet besides cupboard are used for storing books, laptop materials and precious photos.

TADAH!!! u have offically complete a tour around Kristal's room. I have missed out the glass display shelf Dad fixed up cos its too messy, it was initially meant for my collection of musical boxes (i have 24 currently) but Kristi and i mixed in ALOT of our Hello Kitty posession.

One day, just one day, if anyone is interested, i might just blog abt them.... hahaha

To the people who really cares,

thanks, thanks a million.

I've finally realise the significance of "thank you". I really mean it, sincerely and with my heart when i say it.

i am doing better in Canele day by day. but the working hours are harsh, i am so so so dead beat by the time i reach home. So thanks to all that motivates me to move on.

haven got much to say, blogging is hard when u are preoccupied.


Some1 is going out with some1 soon!!!!! =)

DYED MY HAIR..

bet u cant see any difference, but i so so so so can!!! its a little on the blonde side, but that DID NOT make me more of a bimbo.

For some reason, my hair was exceptionally puffy today. So i put on some simple clothing, and hung out at Tampinese Mall will Bobo and Pau. Pic to be uploaded pretty soon.

i realise bloggin makes me happier, its like relating to all my Besties, and those who are exceptionally concern abt my well-being. To others, it may seem like a stupid and boring gal ranting abt her boring life, but whenever i get upset and am alone, ranting on the blog promise good consolation from true frends out there. Simply blessed!!


I am sucha a camwhore that suntanning outing with Denise, i vividly remember exclaiming to her over and over again, how excited i am to be outside again. Seems like not going out to the other end of Singapore during a weekend kills. Despite my digi dying on me, lomo notyet developed, Denise forgetting her digi, i manage to capture lotsa of spastic shots abt myself. And looking back makes me comment alot alot.















This was at the Ladies, Denise was busy re-dolling herself. Me, as usual, the less lady-like one, cam whore to entertain myself.















Super radomly stuff in btw other pic, haha.. Love Denise!! (miss Sharon badly.....)



















Two shots to prove my front tooth was finally reformed. i am a rabbit!!!

3 hours later, i am back home from work....................................................................................................................................... crying




---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am starting on a new job one hour time, den after that i will be rushing to another job somewhere further!! work makes me forget my milk, work makes me feel valued again!

How do you overcome ur pain when u feel like a toy? I often tot relationship was not a game, if you know you like some one you go for it! If you tink you can do it you go for it! If you tink you are determine to end a relationship you go for it! Thats wat my cousin cannot figure out how i got myself to be this strong in my decision.

Call me a very typical Aquarius, but i trust my heart, not doubting my decision once i've made it. No matter the times, no matter if i ever been the other party that gets hurt. If the person i value leaves me one day, the only reason is because i dun have what it takes to keep him. So i accept my faith, have you ever consider why u were being chosen to be given up before?

Remember Lester? The guy i tot i like back when i was 19, the guy who was all perfect, going for dinner with Mum and Dad, asking me to visit his house during chinese new year, accompaning me to the jetty before i leave for a long cruise?

Remember he woke up one day and decides to leave me for good? I cried again and again but to no avil. He blocks me on msn, delete me from friendster, reject my calls and do everything he could to turn his back on me.

I know its hard when someone left you for good, cos i undergo such trauma before. I tot the world was going down on me. But it was Dad who told me to move on with life, by then i was convince i cannot make a person stay if he choses to leave.

I packed his stuff and went to his house, ring the doorbell, saw footstep shadow below the door, but no one opens, he really wanna leave me. That day, i left his stuff at the door and never turn back.

Few years later Lester start contacting me, apologising for his action, he said he was scared and din wan to commit to a relationship, at least not with me. What did i do? I told him i was sorry, sorry to make him pressurize into commiting into a relationship, sorry to make him feel like he was force to.

Althought we hardly talks now, Lester still comes to me if he ever needed advise, schwork wise, relationship wise. I'm glad i understood if someone wanna stop a relationship, he meant it.


i cannot tell if someone has doubt about hanging out with me, but i know if two person clicks, they click! If you hang out with someone 7 times and still can talk like best friends, this someone could be the right one for you, relationship is all about communication, so what can be more important than talking our hearts out?

ranting on blog talking to myself does not help me convince anyone of their action, but i appreciate they put me into consideration while making a decision. I also appreciate it if they think wat they are doing is for my own good, so i will drill myself into believing whatever decision and mishap done to me, was cause i deserve it and cos its the right thing to do. Thanks!!!!!




ok.. i am still really really scared of my new job! Fireman better do a good job in guiding me, or else Denise and Sharon besties will get back to him, right besties!!?!?!?!

all of a sudden,

i got reminded of you..

shit.. sinking yet again.

As the title was named! It was a day of absolute fun at KM8 with Denise besties, along with Peiying and her bf, who will occasionally lay by the bed for a short rest before continuing with their beach volleyball.

The sun was pretty much a disappointment, but fun still accompanied. The tanning bed was spacious for the two of us. We order a big jug of Ribena, along with some side dishes like Golden Mushroom and hawaiian pizza. It was hard trying not gobble up the juicy golden mushroom they serve, do give it a try if u patrol KM8.

the bill was reasonable and amount to less than $50 for the two of us, very affordable!!!

We begin the journey by meeting each other at Vivo, (which is one place that brought back alot of fond memories). Denise had time to change into her attire and doll up abit while i sent my lomo-cam for a quick built up at the nearby Kodak shop!!!

We did something really evil!!!! We saw the long queue to get tix (since Denise din have hers) and denise was complaining abt the long and annoying queue when this guy came over and secretly asked if we will like purchase the tix from him. Aware that touting of business was illegal, but we went ahead with it cos the queue was a serious killer.

In order to assure the card was in usable condition, we demand that we scan one of us in before we pay him, so he accompanied us to the machine, i used the card denise wanted to get and scan myself in, Denise later paid the guy and use my islander card to come in. Transaction completed!!! Hassle-free and queue-free!!

The server at KM8 was pretty and very very nice, the lady that serve us was very sunshine. We were offer the bed the corner which was good since Peiying and her bf were a distance away.

Denise and i talked abt alot of stuff and took lotsa of pic before my digi-cam died on me!!!! Denise din bring hers so the rest of the pic was taken using my Lomo-cam, which i will load the pic up after i develope them!!!

To each of its own, we took the came and took umpteen pic, countless wrong shots, several comical one and some for my collage!!

Denise!!! u like this!!! specially done up for u!! haha, Denise was wearing her pretty Victoria Secret bikini, it has a star on the front so u can assume she will end up tann in shapes!!!

Denise and Peiying metup so they lose no chance to take pic together. My besties!! this collage was done up for you too!!!!!!

Peiying and me.. =P

What if Kristal feels confuse?


i tink i am so so so so gullible, so silly.


Dear frens, if not for the support of you gals now, i would jolly well be tunnelling down into a blacker, deeper hole.


Today i took another step into distancing myself away from Bobo, i would have been very upset if i m Bobo, but i guess its the only means to prove i m determine about my decision now.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Saturday was a waste considering there werent much of a sun, but sitting by the tanning bed and talking about my whereabt to Denise makes me feel at ease.

p/s: Phyllis Mee Pok!!! i am planning a mitup thisweek ok?


Denise was a smart and mature girl (haha.. some one said that of her) She successfully makes me open up and confess about hw i gt myself into this mess, she told me about her experience too and i am really glad my besties and i are finally talking like a best friends again. Sharon Besties was absolutely fabulous too cos she will msn me to encourage me and despite not seeing her for a while, i know in our hearts, we are looking out for each other.






Anyway i told Denise my intention to put on a happy front, cos the more i do it, the more i
REALLY becomes happier. I dun wanna tink abt wats happening to me now, i just wan to be around that someone who needs me, in hope one day something will blossom again.


Enough crap about my feelings, lets move on to something really really stupid-------->

First comes this---------------------> The Incredibles



Then they had this--------------------> The Hulk

now we have this-----------------> The Incredible Hulk

Seriously!!!! Wassup wit naming their movie over and over again, taking bits of every movie and finally connectin them together and creating yet another BlockBuster with somewat an equilvalent?

I dunno if the storyline resembles that of The Incredible, but its very unlikely since The Incredibles talks about family valueship. I just cant help but get very irritated of the title cos it only shows they are not making an effort enough to come up with something more interesting, more appealling and more .,.............................. different!!!!


if i were to name this show, which i have by the way, NEVER caught a single glimpse of, i will call its sequence......................................................................

THE HULK AGAIN!!!! (ok tats a tad too boring.. )

THE GREENER HULK!!!!!! (haha, in support of saving Gaia, which we shud all reduce, reuse, recycle...... )

THE NAKED HULK (this was a question i have, i suggest they give him some clothes... )

THE HUNK NOT= HULK



haha... sorry i was being random........

My msn nick was "Maybe i shud sit here and sulk"


Its a nick i wrote on times i feel like giving up, feeling like a failure and all, but it has since create lotsa of motivation, thanks all.


Some very very bad people just say "yeah you should"



Some very very nice people told me i can share my tots with them.


But....... i dun wanna talk about it anymore, it will only bring me back to square one.



Working today, sat tanning, sunday working, monday working, tuesday working, wednesday working....


i am going to work as much as i can so i dun have spare time at home to tink about anything.


Tomorrow is sat, its usually a happy day for me but not anymore, i am now fearing it to come cos i will just end up sulking at home after Denise leave for her ballet.


Basically i am going out to tann for 2 hours and after that do nuttin, what a Saturday.





Kristal's a loser with no life, no activities on saturday and no one to cheer her on.

How easy it is for us human to claim we are recuperating and then disappear into thin air for as long as our loneliness can contain. I am not gonna let this process keeps me away from the outside world.


Am gonna go tanning with Denise, and thing should have turn for the better, at the very least, my dentist decides if i still do not feel the pain in the teeth for a few more weeks, i mite be able to do without the op!!!!!


My cousin say i was too strong for too long, always refusing to let silence break the ice. I guess thats just me, and i shall be glad that i did not silence take my soul away, for at least i save a friendship, not an avoidance.


Anyway i hope u all remember Marc? The guy whom i mistakenly assume was a stalker cos he seems to know my every movement in school, where i was hanging out at what time and all? That guy everyone call my fan? Yup, he is a policeman now, haha, ironically he started speaking to me one fine day, just when i was at my lowest point.


Marc decides the only way to make me stronger was to hang out with fren again, such as going on a fren-date with him. I had initially agreed hoping it makes loneliness feel better. We almost hang out yesterday if not for my sudden mood swing and fear of upsetting the outing, afterall it was dating that brought me to my disastrous state now.


I guess Marc is upset with me now, and i am feeling extremely apologetic. Isnt it ironic that we cant say our true feeling on blog? I use to own so many thick diaries and inside them were my true feelins and darkest secret, with so many restriction on blog i am feeling a strain on revealing my exact feelings out.



Anyway i cant tink of more interesting stuff to do nowadays den to count down to the days i finally find myself useful again working in Canele, and studying in SIM.


Have you heard? SIM are launching their very own hostel? i, for one, really need to consider isolating myself from my current mess and start life afresh in the campus, but money is another issue so that shall be off for now.


Gosh its boring working now so i am just blahhing nonsence and making nonsensical collage of my faces.

Sorry and apologies for the missin in entries. there are a few doubts in my entries, and for those of you who are interested in knowing, please, allow me my privacy and not ask what my previous entries mean, not at all please?


Anyway yesterday was Bobo's 23rd birthday, yup yup u may have guessed it right, we are not longer a pair, but u can still tink of us as a whole cos he is my closest friend now.


Like that very night when Pau decides to stay over at my place, Bobo came over as well and the 3 of us had fun talking and munching away, not worrying about our calories and basically just satisfying our Mac cravings (alonng with harsh browns, chocolate cakes and ice cream)


I like things better now, Bobo no longers look upon me like an ex-gf. We had compromise and he will regard me as a friend, and tat even if he shows concern, he shall do it as a friend.


Life is about making new friends in school, new jobs in town and new activities. I just wanna do it all. Yup dating with other guys is not an option right now since my mind has been blinded, but i shant talk about it here.





























We had a very very very very filling dinner at the Chomps' with Bobo's frens, Darren, figo and Lost. They are very funny guys. Darren(aka ChaCha) and Figo was late for 1.5 hrs so they compensate us by buying watever food we wanted. I, being the spoilt and only gal, ordered the crayfish.


Meal total up to $100 plus, imagine at a hot and stuffy chomps, all 5 of us can eat up till $100, i must say this guys had a big appetite.



























He requested we hang out as a couple, but we finally compromise it to certain angle shots which resemble those in the days, yup yup, Bobo's still the guy i had once loved. So his hugs were very familiar, i am saying this cos i admit he was the guy i hung out the most and once had so much devotion to. He is like my ONLY boyfriend for 2 years, and the only guy who i can boldly admit to dating.


Shit i sound like an unattractive woman right?



























Lunch was btw, home-cooked by me and him. Bobo and i had a common interest in cooking except he prefers the cooking process while i am better at building up the taste, we cook a little of every thing for lunch and i was filling.





I was once a very very unattractive girl, overweight and who did not bother to dress up, it got so extreme tat at one point of time, cos i was selling clothes, my attire to work sucks so badly my boss-then had to bann watever i worn to work forever.


imagine a girl selling fashionable clothing when she herself was wearing a men-size orange tee with a nike soccer light blue shorts. This was paired with a tennis shoes and high-ankle socks.


i am glad this journey was finally over and despite not being all that perfect, i thank God i have gotten over those period and is now walking with confident.


The reason for saying this is cos of a sudden urge to console myself, and i finally figured out the only way to recuperating myself was to constantly encourage myself inside. With the help of Bobo, i am already on my way towards striving harder for the future.


cant wait for the freshmen orientation camp to come, followed by the rugby trial and Tennis trial. i've gotta get my mind off those things i dun wanna tink anymore.




growing up

All i can say is,

i took the wrong turn in life and make a wrong decision,

am i depress? no, at the very least, i am awoken

the outcome, i've lost completely, defeated and weak.

Gotta recover soon, my life needs me.

Dating is never a game