RodKris

i am starting on a new job one hour time, den after that i will be rushing to another job somewhere further!! work makes me forget my milk, work makes me feel valued again!

How do you overcome ur pain when u feel like a toy? I often tot relationship was not a game, if you know you like some one you go for it! If you tink you can do it you go for it! If you tink you are determine to end a relationship you go for it! Thats wat my cousin cannot figure out how i got myself to be this strong in my decision.

Call me a very typical Aquarius, but i trust my heart, not doubting my decision once i've made it. No matter the times, no matter if i ever been the other party that gets hurt. If the person i value leaves me one day, the only reason is because i dun have what it takes to keep him. So i accept my faith, have you ever consider why u were being chosen to be given up before?

Remember Lester? The guy i tot i like back when i was 19, the guy who was all perfect, going for dinner with Mum and Dad, asking me to visit his house during chinese new year, accompaning me to the jetty before i leave for a long cruise?

Remember he woke up one day and decides to leave me for good? I cried again and again but to no avil. He blocks me on msn, delete me from friendster, reject my calls and do everything he could to turn his back on me.

I know its hard when someone left you for good, cos i undergo such trauma before. I tot the world was going down on me. But it was Dad who told me to move on with life, by then i was convince i cannot make a person stay if he choses to leave.

I packed his stuff and went to his house, ring the doorbell, saw footstep shadow below the door, but no one opens, he really wanna leave me. That day, i left his stuff at the door and never turn back.

Few years later Lester start contacting me, apologising for his action, he said he was scared and din wan to commit to a relationship, at least not with me. What did i do? I told him i was sorry, sorry to make him pressurize into commiting into a relationship, sorry to make him feel like he was force to.

Althought we hardly talks now, Lester still comes to me if he ever needed advise, schwork wise, relationship wise. I'm glad i understood if someone wanna stop a relationship, he meant it.


i cannot tell if someone has doubt about hanging out with me, but i know if two person clicks, they click! If you hang out with someone 7 times and still can talk like best friends, this someone could be the right one for you, relationship is all about communication, so what can be more important than talking our hearts out?

ranting on blog talking to myself does not help me convince anyone of their action, but i appreciate they put me into consideration while making a decision. I also appreciate it if they think wat they are doing is for my own good, so i will drill myself into believing whatever decision and mishap done to me, was cause i deserve it and cos its the right thing to do. Thanks!!!!!




ok.. i am still really really scared of my new job! Fireman better do a good job in guiding me, or else Denise and Sharon besties will get back to him, right besties!!?!?!?!