it been a while and i guess both of us are learning to cope well ba, this is part of growing up, making ,mistake and learning from it.
-=however, i dun believe in now and forever, it might take a while before i finally try to believe it again=-

watch "A Cinderella Story" it kept me imagining things... I should share the story with you, i NEVER say NO to Girly movie, Mean GIrl is another wonderful movie.

-=A Cinderella Story=-
Samantha was born with a perfect Dad, live in a perfect hilltop and owns a Perfect Diner with staff that treat each other like family, include their loyal customers....
One day Sam's dad bump into a fat ugly lady but fall deeply in love with her, they soon got married and Sam knew immediately her Stp-mum hate her.

One night aftr reading fairy-tale Cinderella to Sam, there was an earthquake, in order to save his new wife, Sam'dad risk his life, that was night Sam last saw his dad.
Not long after his death, Step-mum sent Sam to the attic, that was her room, she had to stay there forever....... Sam cried her way to sleep....

7 years later, Sam stil wakes up cooking breakfast for her sstep-mum and step sister... Guerilla and Buerilla....... She was dying to go to Princeton University which her dad told her where all the Prince study...

Sam has a best friend, a child-channel star, freak some call... both sam and "zorro" were constanly bullied in school..... that day Sam saw Nomad, the so-call coolest guy in school, rugby champion, but she was not interested in her, she guess nomad and the bitch was born to be together since both of them share the fame...

Sam has a very special someone who study in her school and wishes to Princeton together... he was her MSN pal and SMS mate, they grew in love through Them... Nomad suggest Sam meets him at the school Ball that very day at the middle of the Dancefloor.. Sam was scared but prepared... However, her Step-mum refuse to let her go saying that her Diner needs someone to clean up the place that night. Sam was disappointd but believes that " True Loves can wait"

Knowing she cannot make it to the Ball, Zorro went over to the Diner and persuade her to think on her own and go for it, finally, through persuation by her "family" in Diner, Sam dicided to sneak to the Ball but return before 12 cos that's when her step mum returns. but she had no gown to wear, luckily, her "family"-Rhonda has a wedding gown for her.

That night Sam was beautiful, she worn a mask to cover her identity....... afriad pple might recognise her for the Diner-girl(Yucks name!~).. she wait in the middle of the dance floor, finally Nomad arrived, he was the special guy in her life, Sam was shock and refuse to hang with him cos she knows that Nomad was meant for the Bitch.. However, Nomad persuade her to spend the night Dancing, Sam was in love, they dance in the garden........ each ask each other 10 questions: 1. are you disappointed in me, do you believe in love at first sight..... 2.do you loves me........

at 12pm the handphone alarm strike! it was time to rush home. Nomad chase after Sam but was pulled back by the audience cos he was the "most gorgeous"in the ball that night, Nomad only manage to pick a handphone that Sam drop in her rush to go home.

Tat night ended and Sam decide to hide the Cinderella identity from Nomad, however, it was discovered by her stp-sister,... they, together with the bitches star a play telling the whole school how stupid handsome Nomad was to fall for a Diner's girl, the whole school lagh..... Sam was sad, she cried for a long time that night, Nomad dod not stand out for her, instead he keep his sorrow in silence..... ]

that day got Sam very sad... she start thinking about her Dad....... and then she remember, - Never let fear strike you and prevent you from playing the Pool- that was the line her dad always wanted her to remember......... sam went up to her step-mum and scold her for the way she was treated, she then request to quit her job at the Diner and go out and go out and survived on her own....... that night the whole diner quit their jobs....... Step-mum was left with nothing........ Sam stayed with Rhonda.......

Next day in schol SAm went up to nomad and tell her hwo she feels: she was glad that she found out Nomad was such a coward and she told Nomad she will get over guy like him........ after saying she ran out crying but happy........ she also wen to catch rugby match with Zorro..

All along Nomad was sad............. it was not that he don't wan to speak out for her....... he was just speechless........

Sam saw Nomad playing for the Frog Rugby, he was the best player, the nicest Captain..... and every one was shouting for him...... AaronAmes Aaronames (Nomad real name). Sam couldn;t take it anymore...... she wanted to go home........ she was walking through the crowd... not realising at that time Nomad ran up to her......... he told Sam he was sorry and was sure now he was doin the right things,........... they kissed.............................

Sam realise her Dad had left a huge inheritance for her. Sam was rich, her Step mum and her Step sister became the Diner staff..........

Sam and Nomad went on to study Princeton University together and live happily ever after, or at least through Unversity, they were afterall , just freshmen!!! - The End-!`

Gues i hadn;t make the story sound as exciting as it was......... but it was a nice show........

Sam believes, Sam let goes, Truth will come in the end, that is True Love.....

what we shared together are not consider love, dun worry and feel guilty k? We can each find our very true partner if we wait pateintly....

I'm not worried about anything anymore..
Guess this heavy stone on my shoulder is forever gone........
I apologise for the temper i gave........
i shouldn't have forced things to happen this way...

We are still friend i guess........

when you read this i'll be the most glad to wish you all the best in your future undertaking.......
Remember, never forget a friend like me....... haha

finally found my way to uploading photos.... this system totally suck......
But gee..... thanks god it works!~

Not fair, not fair... so not fair!~ i think its time i change my blog entry into blog drive, cos this blog is far too plain...... think i will fetch every single entry into the new blog too........ just can;t bring myself to just leave it alone.. or maybe i can make another blog to put stuff that can be reveal and still keep this blog confidential?!
Shock! so shock, he read my blog, thought this blog will remain a secret for good....... i think i expose it in my webpage le...... gotta take it out, it's been a hard process trying to keep the blog to myself, and till date besides than him,no second human knows about it. thought he dissapear for good too..... sometimes, things just turn out the way we least expected it. No high hope, no vision, i'll keep my head low..
haha, i think by writing my blog like that , jeRk wont understand....... gee..... dun bother asking me, things you can understand means you can understand, you can;t......... hehe,. too bad.
Monday is XinYi's birthday, thought we hardly know each other, she was the first to hear my sorrowiest moment in NYP, so i plan a day for her with me and Sijia. Knowing she is a craze for kimono, we bought her one from my workplace... $24 discounted to $18.. thats the great thing about working as a retail, you always first hand stuff @ a cheaper rate.. Monday need to wear formal....... die!~ but in between got a few hours break, so Sijia and i will bring Xinyi to eat lunch, then we'll grab a tiny cake for her, cos i dun enjoy eating cake, taste funny...... after which we will pass her the present and head back to school.... short and sweet, sounds bored but with my nonsensical, funny and crazy self, i guess xinyi will enjoy it pretty well....... siJia despite being a yr older than me, we manage to click very well...... she listen and have certain thinking like me, guess my thinking is actually quite mature too..! hehe, praising myself........
dunno why i;m so happy now, i FLUNK my exam this morning and i'm still behaiving likdat.
Cried this morning..... the stupid IT exam, it was;t my fault..... I was doing all my sum on the com pretty well and have assure a full marks on the first session... Then suddenly the com delete it all, no way!~ then i have to hand in blank disk to sir. Never felt worst, the feeling of not gettin result is always terrible, esp when you have already assure yourself half the paper to be full marks!!!! hate myself!!!
when he ask me questions, it always takes me a while to answer, i dunno why, but i make sure i answer it the way i think i should, dunno why either. He's just very fragile loh, and i guess i just wan the best out of every reply i give.
Funny things is when he sudenly call me, i practically blurt out all my words, bet i sound stupid..... remember kristal...... stop assuming the impossible...
should i post this entry? yes...... no........yes........no? why not?....... but what if...... i just dun wan to lost even a friend.........
stupid 184, i practically ignore him! what have i done to deserve untrue fact. He is such a faker.....Forgive and forget, whatever it is, i have convince myself he is definitely not a good friend, not a good guy and definitely not a good boyfriend, pity his gal.........
haha, very bad ah kristal....... outside pretend to be "it-s-ok" kind of girl , reach home the "Stupid-Shit-Damn-him-her-they" pattern........
nvm lah,.... whu cares....... whu cares........ WHU CARES?
not bad a achievement today ah...... write very long........
by the way misssas SAmmie very much today, infact missas CJC very much. Kristal never regret what she did, but some times we just cant help it.

Meet up dear today... throw all my troubles to her, she listens and feel with me, if only she understands how much i value our friendship and sistership. She is different, if only she knows... told her today that i really dun think she should flood herself with studying....... but cannot bring myself to tell her that..... so put it in a way as if Denise and i told her together.........
crazy....... why bother so much about her, she is all but a best friend, now that she has her Krive....... she should need less of me....... stop acting like a nanny Kristal!
guess i should end here........... too long le

hehe... it's been consider a while since i last part from CJ, but our bonding is still there. Me and Sam toks alot, she still confine in me, that makes me really glad.!!! Had a slight quarrel with Cuz again. WOnder why we cannot agree in certain matters. But it was solve soon enuff. My Cuz is sweet, it's always me with the temper n always her whu cools me off by saying 'sorry'. Haiz, when will i ever grow up? cus is going for her piano examination today. May god provide her the strength to pass thru her examination. I know she can do it. Cuz is really funny sometime... First Amanda was her best friend then it comes Sherry n Peilian, The it was Gough, then it was Sherry n Susanne, now it was Xiu xian. That gal might put off well as a gal who is mature in thinking, but when it comes to such personal matter, nah.....z.. :P, she's my cousin, glad she make the correct choice in choosing me as her alter ego. Well, i foresee our sistahood stay, be it pressure from our parents or btw us, in the end, it is still us who makes the diff in or lives. i had better not praise her too much. She'll get big headed easily. I had been working this few days, raise up to 100 bucks, Ismail call me on sat apologising for missing the dinner we had promised. But i was really mess up cos i had tot it was next week. Well, but he did not update me on our next date. i dunnno why, he kept me thinking hard, very hard. It's hard not to, cos we share so much past together, n he was the one i totally relied heavily on for what to do , what to think n how to do. I cant help it but gets really affected by his presence all of a sudden. I feel very , n extremely guilty the presence of Bobo the first three mths of this year. dunno why things happen the way they do. But it;s always our responsibility to solve.

No one knows about my blog, i cant help but feel worst and worst everyday, it's like a secret within me. Today passes as usual, had my lecture as usual. But the most awaiting even will be the meeting with Govindasammie, haiz, it;s been a very long time since we met and i have a milion to tell her. I bet she has alot to tell me too. I also need to pass her the school uniform (althou she insist i keep it for myself, what for?! to mop floor ah....) and the school PE shirt and some files and not to forget the book i bought for her. Today is ruin by the MEdora commuinication tutorial, Haiz in the end Sam and me did not meet loh. i got so pissed off that i make the thing that is bothering me be the subject of my speech presentation.. Medora said my speech is good. Haiz, i told Xin yi and Si jia that i kind of think Apel and all will hate us cos we went on to the tutorial even thou we had agree to skip it. Why am i always thinking and assuming what others think? I sumtime think i am such a freak it;s hard to get along with me. Why does the friendship in CJC and Deyi all this damn years and all other events i attend be so smooth. ppl of BI0403 is so hard to understand. I also dunno how to carry myself, back those days i reveal my very true colours, one gal who goes really crazy and belong to the sporty and easy-going kind, whereas in NYP i'm a quiet gal, haiz, when can i finally let my hair down and hey-hoh?! Today Xin Yi, Si Jia, Jun ling played badminton, it was fun, we sweat, at least i sweat today. the last time i sweat was the jogging morning with Xin Yi last sun, we met early morning 7.30 to go jogging from yishun to khatib to seletar and back. She was a good runner........sec top few. Thanks to presence of Xinyi and Si jia and APel and Celina, the many few ppl whu makes me feel comfortable in the class........
Anyway thats about today, suppose to wake up to jog, wonder what happen,? this few days slept alot and can hardly feel energeic. Had cornflakes chocolate with milk for breakfast, tiap-tiap harshbrown and tea cos XinYi and Sijia got it for me. Went straight home after the tutorial. had tiap tiap again for lunch, grab some grapes, keropok and biscuit, all ultimate small serving.
then went on to dinner, had a handful of rice with all but sweet curry, those non-chicken kind. Kaka traditional food, taste somehoow resembles Lontong gravy......
Cynthia and i met up last night, bought my Giordano Racer back finally, worn it today..... Cynthia said i look slimmer......... better keep it up;/.////

missas JeRk out of a sudden. wonder hows he's been getting on this few days? Went thru his blog agao despite promising myself not to......... Heard that he is on his way to a good ITE,
Lost a good listening ear like him, now one less person to share my joy and laughter, sorrow and tears with. Anyway, its been a long time since he rewrite his blogger, hehe. shall peek it again another day. NYP is the same routine everyday, i trulu missas my pals in CJC, too much things happen over there, i miss them so much..... somehow hope i;m there for them evrytime they need me......... haha, guess i;m just daydreaming, who can have such chances like me to go into a Jc, quit Jc go poly and wanna go JC back...... be contented Kristal!

I THINK ZIHAO IS RIGHT,......... I;M JUST A SEE ONE LIKE ONE GAL, SOMEONE LAST ON A GUY LIST, IRRITABLE AND DIABOLICAL.I'M AWFUL AND TERRIBLE AND A FAILURE IN EVERYTHING I DO

guys sux and are indecisive in their decision. All of them make promise without thinking thru their brain! /have they got a brain anyway? Do thy even deserve the title 'MAN'... slowly bit by bit i shalll reveal all man true colours... i'll beat them down till they drop their very last piece of boxer! They are nuttin and useless in aiding woman in to their correct mind. Guys fake their conversation and avoid making commitment. Guys say one do the other..... What nice thing can i possibly name about them........

haha./... i'm a hppy girl. I think i have clear all my obsacles liao... i;m tranferring to a poly. To think i make it so far to Cathoic Junior College... i am giving up to Poly. It's ok as long as i;m happy....... give up on that realtionship liao.. bobo is not my cup of tea. I want a guy who likes me more than i like him, i am going to stay happy. sharon is always here for me, so is my cousin, samantha and Eason... hehe, i;m so happy

WE BROKE UP YET AGAIN... I MAKE THE FIRST MOVE AND THINGS GETS BETTER LE... THEN THE DISTANCE INCREASE AGAIN... WE BROKE UP... ONCE AGAIN

Broke up with him le, guess this time i really am hopeless. Did try to revive the relationship but he wanted just wasn't me. Am i the cause of all the ending? Haiz, guess the problem lies in me. JC life has been different, i thought we were all united till yesterday clss outing. Only 9 turn up, Sammie's boyfriend broke his leg while trying to save pple from the recent construction collide. so she did not turn up, Gwen wants to stay at home to rush thru her Econs home work, Pei fang and Wendy same patterm, Melissa cannot come, Edward, Xueliang one type guai cannot go out kind. Rachael, Delvina, Darren, Alvin, ME,. Terrence, Brandon, James, Freddy turn up. Its fun and we chatted till late night then we all board a train home. I guess no matter how close a class is, there is bound to be division somewhere.
was sms-in Chi Yang that day. He is a famous Hair stylist noe, just won championship in Japan and is heading for France soon. Haha, not bad that i have a friend who make it big. He promise me to do my hair cut once i get back. haha.... Long time no see so many friends, it's only till after graduate then we all get back together... Haiz... sometimes things just happen the way you least expected it.....
Suddenly the temptation to continue writin has stop...

it right that they say things that happen in our life is not what we always wanted. i dun crave for anything, just wanna get done with what i have now. Read up JeRk diary, he did not update it further le....... hopefully it is for some good reason loh.. life has been good, school life is still the same. Bobo and i finally meet up on Sunday, at his house. Its been a long long time since we meet and i remember the last time being we went to buy his shirt. Chee Guan is very different, he does not behave as if seeing me or not is unusual. That day turn out dull and i went home by myself. Dear ask me why i still stayed on with him? I dun understand myself, perhaps a close company is essential to me especially since Dear has found her good Boyfriend Caifu le. Then that day i hang out for a suppose-to-be concert with Zhi Liang (Chase) but turns out the concert ticket he did not manage to get, so we ended up catching a midnight movie and having dinner together. Then i realise his main aim of the outing was to help Ismail. Turns out that Ismail had not forgotten about me, thinking about it, really miss those sweet pure days when we hang out togther. He send me to school and send me home after school, we share tha same locker and smae textbook. Then he will write nonsence in the book for me to read. The first time he hold my hand...... the first time we went for the BBQ, the first concert we watchh together, the first outing we had together to orchard. All this thing are first and last time, i only agree to go out with him once thru out our entire school life. He is definitely a goody guy so i bet he will find a better girl. I rejected his patch-up request again....................... why did i do that? i guess i;m not a good girlfriend for him....... i just want our 4 yrs relationship to end...... call me selfish........... i;m just me................... i dun deserve any good guy..
nah........ i'm stil a happy kristal............

it's been a real long while since i finally decided to lay my fingers yet again into de damn blogger. Well, at this pointof time, i have decided to give up many things in my life and to get on with what i feel will makes me happy. To begin with, i had my most wonderful birthday this year, with my most precious procssion- my cousin and my dear_sharon. both on separate days. i should not mention too much on that as i guess the memory could last really long especially on my mind.. Also, i have finally gotten rid of JeRk ever in my memory again, his image has faded slowly on my mind. From a perfrect body i dream of at least once a day to only a faint image that pass my mind hardly and only once a while. without fail, i chose to check up on his diary each time i went online.

Many things happen in our life and i chose to try to remember every single one of them. Saddest thing that happen so far and those thats makes me grin all the way.
to began with, Pat, after losing her DAd, recently lost her grandpa. so we hardly get to meet. till date, she has left singapore fr good. No longer part of a singaporean, just one that visit once a while. I feel so sad, these are certainly things that i have forget to treasure and had taken for gratnted till its gone. I miss heralmost instantly, cos we knew each other for 8 years. i feel i was i her life almost 3/4 of her life in Singapore.

The happy thing is i score 13 for my L1R5, 11 for my L1R4, that is excluding CCA point. i can get into a good school and do my parents proud. however, i realise that only noe my parent hadn't even thought of letting me enter JC. It wasn't part of their long-term- plan ever since the day their first kid was born. I shal just do things as it goes and stop deciding for my future

JeRk, according to his blog, fail his Os. I hope he is retaking it.
Dear, got 22 and is goin go a good poly
Denise got 26, going to a poly
Bobo, got 36, waiting to retake, go ITE or enter the mindef.
Pat, score 27, went back thailand, probably going to America, Australia or New Zealand to further her study.
Sylvia, score 16, furthering her Catholic JC study

think that is all that matter so far.

i am with Bobo now, he is a nice guy, i choose to not believe waht other says about him and give myself and him a chance. We do quarrel, a lot, with our each-of-its-own mind. But most of the time we felt great together. No standard beginning, no anniversary. I dun even know how we end up together.
Sharon dear is with Bobo friend- Caifu. They are sweet and most inportanly, they got together without knowing mush of each other. that is a gppd thing as there isn;t much worry in this relationship.

So bobo is good to me, i found a satisfying job at Orchard far east basement #01-52.
everthing is on the right track, my tennis is doing fine and i think i improve tremendously . My cousin is off Thailand with Aunt SISI and family.

I hope JeRk has found the right gal along his way.

The end-? No way........i just feel satisfy with my stuff and think it shall take a while before i come back and write the blog again.

Lu /ya

hehe, i had damn bad memory......... when i am all alone all thing i tot i wouldn't want to remember just pop back, unexpectedly.
gee, cry today, silly me, the client is so tough to get by, despite the first criticism, i wasn determine to prove my ability. in the end i still get scolding, under any circumstances i should have blame her, but thank to my wonderful temper, my temper goes away as fast as i wipe my tears, ask me if i still remeber her voice? nope, not at all. Kristal is special, hehe, fancy me showing off my dumb personality.
This desperate feeling of wanting to show this diary to jeRK simply puts me off.... no, i shouldn't!!!! maybe i should,,,,,, haha, whu cares anyway. Like what i always say, we gal assume a bit TOO much. How much i wish my concentrating was not on this fellow, perhaps i wouldn't think of sms-ing and i could save a pile. Haha, just whu am i? i guess a simple gal leading a simple life having a simple faily and life BUT with a big and special dream. here i am, saying i can do what all boys can do, on te other hand, i fell for this sum one i know does not appreciate me the way i do for him. Also, i dun think boys wanna stay in the misery of luv for long and here i am, yuckily trying to thicken my skin and keep making the first move, sum time it gets on my nerve so much i really despise myself. why am i even toking to myself inthis diary, i dun think anyone can acquire this skill of mine of getting so angry with just thinking to myself. today i wonder i had this huge temptation to write, just keep writing, to write and pur out all my emotion, no one will realise that behind this heavy, strong gal hides her very little fear, a little heart that warm, sumone whu still think she deserve a litle enjoyment at this stage of her life.
oh no, i guess i sound more and more like sum psycho artist with too much emotion that lead them to thinking death is the joy of life....... Nah, i am notthat stupid, i value all around me, esp now, when i am left with my family and best friend, including cousins that i value........

why does ot sum times hurt so much, thinking of sum one means toturing urself, putting your body on fire. If i ever knew i will hurt that much, i wouldn't wan to give it a try in the first place. Why does every happy endin has to have a begining, i dun look forward to any happy endins, just wan to stop the pain from piercing thru me. I am certainly sure that if i can choose, i would never wan to think if JeRk, i dun wan to be treated like dirt. Cos it always hurts to not be treated the way yout want yourself to be see as. I should not mention too much about JeRk no more. I just hope he will Get well soon from his fever. Skiving on work today, i look into his diary again. Since the Christmas dinner, he has completely stop writing the diary. i finally understand what others always meant by Boys are forgetful, or that they simply get sick and tired easily, was i thinking too much, i wish i was...........................
anyway this afternoon when i couldn; get into his diary, my damn intuition tells me he secretely change identificatin to get rid of me. wheni got home, i was shock to realise i can still enter, all of a sudden i feel so stupid. They are all right, Girls assume too much, and i am certainly one of the stupid silly asume girl.
Bobo msg me nite msg, he's a nice chap overall, too bad i choose to believe my true friend, well the saying gpes: is better to be safe than sorry"
First tennis with Coach Eddie was pretty good, i was terrible as a player, but i knew i want to do it right, for one thing i was glad i am interested and had not wasted money on this lesson. a pity i tear my favourite one and only tennis shoe.
i bougt pop CD for Vivien and Will pan for myself, i kept thinking of the time JeRk says Will as publish a book, i hope to purchase it if i can and find the true meaning of life in it
too tired to type........................ btw meeting Sharon tomorrow for a celebration of her resign from Ice Lemon Tee, Gud 4 her, torture is over...... Lub her
Vivien is in trouble with her camp group as they cannpt think of a dance for thetalent time, i dun wan to neglect, hopefully she listen to me and go watch BringIt on VCD to get inspiration,

back from cruise and camp mumbo
back from work
back from all my hardship
today is tiring, i dunhave much on my mind.
Cruise is fn, shopping is even fun, spending so much money, many of the things i bought i felt worth and valuable, especially since it is so cheap
i bought Ralph Lauren perfume, prob my most preciuous procession this time.realli nuttin to sae, maybe i think of JeRk alot lately
crazy kristal

i'll leaving singapore to cruise at 3, today is fine, suppose to meet my darling cuz to jog, but that silly gal slept real late yesterday. the feeling of getting back and meeting all my friend is so cool!~ me and cuz ate long john together last nite and we chatted. then at nite me went for band meeting at the usual oid deck 424, suddenly i felt my usefulness there last nite, i saw Sylvia, ghee, kind of miss her abit, well, we still joke, and tease, what else can you find in us, we are just the us since sec 1, everyone grow up, i do not feel the passion for any nonsence reagrding luv nowadays, perhaps a person interest does change.However, my interest for Hello Kitty does not change, yesterday my cuz gave me her stuff, those her dad gave her , Hello Kitty imported from japan, mummy say it was nuttin cos it was second-hand, however, i knew i could feel the luv within, my cuz, she kept thinking i was mad ather, but no i was not, my aim was to get even cl;oser to her, and towards Ah girl Jie Jie, cos i kinda think i owe her sumthin, sum times i blame myself cos i still make such stupid mistake at this age.
Working is fine, all of a sudden, JeRk and i kept in touch again, BoBO keep wanting to kno if we could remain the way we are in the past, seem so near yet so far, i never even wanna thin of it, Ismail came to find me that day, it was plan but i dun think i was looking forward to this days, he say he wanna tok, i sae i was busy, he refuse to tell me what it was regarding, i just left, i couldn't stand the way he put his sulking face, i think it makes me boil.To think i was so concern in the past, now when i think back, i amsure i only had his laughter in my heart, never his sorrow face, i dun evn think i like him anymore, to think i would be doing all this. i think if i really MUST have a feeling, perhaps it Jerk, but i dun think we can ever make it, just wanna concentrate on sumthin else, perhaps to slim down before my 17 birthdae

today is the sixth day of my working life at john's place, there definitely days which i noe i can break down and cry, but despite so that i did, i did it in my heart, working life is selfish, everyone hardly do anything, we sit on chair and get fat, i am starting to worry about my butt, haha, bigjoke sia, i fear sitting too long on the com will worsen my vision and flatten my butt, i'm gonna look like a old haggard. Went out with :Pat, sui lan, gale and yiling yesterday, the day could be describe as fabulous, we chit chat, we revealed, TOTALLY revealed all about us these damn four years apart, i could sense Suilan trying hard to recall about our conversation, i coukd also feel that she is not as happy as we are, i do hope that she will in the next outing, we ate at fish & co, it was deicious, but the bill is even 'delicious', $76.55!!!!!!!~
we estimate the bill and brought only the required amount, whu would have know the service charge and GST add up to ten buck, a hole in the pocket. i had to run to nearest ATM machine to draw money, to my horror, i had less than 70 bucks inside, so i put 50 buck out, luckily, they had all fork out money to about 52, now that i recall, i think Sui lan didnot pay for the drink we share, but that;s definitely fine, the eating period is fun, the extra cash is all worth it. then we took pic, really a lot of pic, they brought me to the hotel i thought i cukd neva enter- Fullerton hotel, i always thout we cant enter, it look so high class, when we reach, one skool was havung their prom, their dress is nice, i totally drench and detest the thiought that our skool prom is in the skool hal, worst! we might not even have one!~
then we took pic at boat quay, we walk along clark quay and guess what, sum girls actually wanted us to enter the pub, all of a sudden i feel ever so adultish. we walk along the bridge near VCH, everything was fun, i look for ward to another of these outin.
i wrote jerk a e-mail in regards to his diary entry, now then he wanna get close to me, i dunno how i feel.
bobo keep pestering me, if only he is a nice guy, i would want to be the lucky one!~
as for ismail, he call me up unexpectedly, and he wanted to meet me tomorrow, i think he wan to pass me back all my stuff, dunno lah, i still recall the happy times together, and i seriously consider him my ex-boyfriend, only one is precise
well then , i look forward to catching movie with JeRk, to go out with Vivien and Sharon, i hope they do forgive mefor my sudden disappearance, i miss them too

since the end of my o level, i guess i've just been lazing aroumd, had a chalet at arena few days back, cool its Xinyi birthdae, ton thru the whole nite, we (essey, Samuel Jian ji Jian chong, Xinyi, cynthia all chat loh) then later Zhiwei darren li juan got join us loh, we tok alot, about everthingthat happen all this while, about bitches, about crush, about my bad experience, about Sharon, about all thinsgs, i learbt alot of thing, Darren and Essey did not oppose me cos they are in the same class as Ismail, they were all friendly. We ate pizza, we sang karaeoke, we watch movie, we drank alcohol, beer... all this...... haha, so fun. so much seems to happen, i am so girly, went orchard today, boughtcute scostap, beads, chain, best if all, jap amulet. Me, Sharon, Sharon's god mei, Denise, we took pic, so cool. i am avoiding Bobo now, yuan lai he no a gud guy, lucky i clever enough to reject him the first time he propose. now i hear li juan sae he actually propose to Li juan before, Lijuan sae he can find beter gal, bobo say he will wait forever but he propose to another gal in less than a week. What a absolute jerk. he kept smsing me this days, i feel that he is such a psycho, better avoid. Samuel say he actually F.F Victoria, that simply puts me off, i feel so disgusted....... what a man.his ex stead in clude Priscellia. target include Kai XIn Li Juan all this....... hehe
kRistal neva meant to meet a real true guy one lah.
Zihao start toking online, at least now that i told him i dun lyke him too......... hehe, its really fun to reject sum one
btw, Jodie tok to me that day at her house party , seem likes i am goin on the right track...... lookin forward to success.
Vivien and i had sum trouble, seem like she told her mum sum thin she shouldn't have and got me and my mum in to trouble, our reputation is totally ruin, i feel so sorry for mummy. i dun blame Vivien , end of year liao, camp Mumbo around the corner, this year i just join halfway, what a blessing! i am gonna get involve in the OLIP alone, Sharon will be at Malaysia. haiz, see loh, than after which i going to band camp loh, i dun wanna get too involve in the band, my commitment are not too ful haha

its been a really long itme since i put my buttock down and concetrate on writing my heart out........ so much had happen, frankly, the only person i miss so badly will have to be Vivien, i miss cuz and i really wana see her soon, not that i am lesbain or sumthing, just that i always feels better with her around.
O level is a tedious thing, its the self controlling thing we have to contain within ourselves, long time since i check up mails, saw sum that JeRK wrote, of which 1 refers to the fact that he no longer feel the same for me. i, in fact , surprising, dun feel a thing, perhaps they were all riite about me falling in and out of this luv thingy far too easily, well........ but whu really cares? what do i have to hold back the person i wan.
every year, a few guys came across my life, lesser and lesser each time, i noe i am becoming uglier and fatter. i dun even hold that luv position in my heart that high any more, i guess people do grow fast.
i realise too that my cpncern are now place highly on my family, cousin and of course my ever flowong friends. SHaron and i hardly quarrl this days, i guess we are alll trying our very to see each other that much nowadays, we alll noe that life after o level is gonna beso much diferent than before. we'll all go our ways, i noe i will miss them....... Bobo, a guy i knew from Jannity, he was at first a guy, to me, rather cool and has his chavinism( sorry ah...... spelling very bad- okok i use egolistic) but since he start msg me too much,...... i feel rather frastuated, probably because i am neva use to have so much sms a day, and i dun enjoy repkying sms, call me a moey minded, i jus dun enjoy wasting my parents money on sms, he mind me a lot.he is a really gud guy, the kind that is very caring for everyone, a good brother to me and i guess thats all......... i dunno how i may feel in near future, but rite now, i pray for damn gud result for me os......

what the heck? whtat exactly is wrong with me? i wonder where my sense of urgency is, i just cant concentrate, i need to ask questions, but in class, i jus wanna go home, what s things lidat? i realli wanna go SAJC, haiz, i can feel my hopes and determination constantly decreasing and leaving me. this few dyas just seems fun however, on 15/10 which is my o level practical, haha, what a big joke, i dun think i can score or rather depend on it to score, my so call manageable bio prac turn out to be so screw up! benedict, biuret, argh!
big joke! but the nite was reallyfun, it was Cynthia's birthday and she organise the KTV party at Arena country club, everything under my name, i neva felt and important, i sign and handle everything all by myself, haha, i feel so important, perhaps this is what i always like, to feel proud and cofident of myself in all my actions, if only i felt the same way liyke this to me o. we sing, the guy were the same, the ever on-going poker cards game.i think i can name all of them. lets see, kristal, sharon, Cynthis, Denise (a pretty reluctant invitation), Pekkee, Xinyi, jia hui, Lijuan(sick that day), Caiyun(in that shoe i was craving for, pink shirt and 3/4 pants, nice combination), constance, Mabel (poor thing, glad she enjoy herself, Adawiyah (cool top with shawl on neck, 3/4 jean, belly shown nd esp cool with her snow cap and that india thingy on her head!), jun min, Jian ji, Bruno, Weeleong, Teck chee, Jackson, Eugene, Jain chong, Yong kang, Zhiwei. i an remember all this so far. Denise worn the white spaghet which is nice, but spoil it with her 3/4 pant, which look a it to not-hipster, me and dear worn our MAMbo tee, Ada was so jealous and we worn beach pants. Cynthis was in her two piece spaghet, Pekkee esp beauty in her belly shown op and long pants. We played true or daere, i was sabotage tp tk pic with teck chee in our dance pose, worst of all, i slip thru my mouth and out of nuttin, i admit i lyke Xavier, a gal. haha
the day ended real fun, now everyone wanna book the room.
i chatted with Bobo this days, at first thought he fall for me, lucky he reveal he had a gal, i dun really wanna get involve in all this thingy noe. JeRk smstoo, asking me how i am, we sms chat a while, i thinki will updtae again, till then..

haha...... its been a long time since i have updated this thingy, the thot of JeRk makes me feel sick day by day, jus another jerk in my life, haha, that is definitely not a prob, i got 23 L1r5 and 17 L1R4, it was bad, i have lose the chance to go for my precious three months course, haiz, but i do encourage myself very well. i Wana make it to SAJC (st andrew junior college)
went for NYJC tok in orchard that day, it was damn boring at first, not too bad later.....
today is the last day of school, we chatted alot, took many pix and sign names everywhere,i am gonna miz this pigs haha!
chatted with Wee leong yesterday, now that everyone kind of think me and him together..... haha what a joke, i do not denied the fact that i do have a crush on him, perhaps justa small one...... hehe
Sharon has make me feel kinda irritated this days, i told her just now that she shd jus voice out if she isn't happy about aything, anyway thats what i wanted
be frank and we'll all change
jian chong and Christine together, what a damn lousy match! Christine is such flirty bitch and jain chong is sucha desperado
haha........... whu cares? let them play and get hurt then they know how to regret....... Weeleong wanted to tell Kexin he like her, but i advice him not to cos o level is round the corner
teck chee like Hui Jie, he finally makes his first move, sumtimes guys can be so slow! haha, i guess that bookworm finally gotta achievement yah?
Yilong send a dedication over on 98.7 fm to Chong Yao long, that ex fellow, i do not denied that fact that he is good lokking , but too bad another playboy. Yiling is dying for him, and she got rejected as she requested for a patch.
they are all worried abt me, me hadn't gotta any attraction, haha, what's wrong? haha dun worry ..... me dun think i can be a butch one........
well...... i guess thats all for now
short and sweet...... lub kris

counting down one day to the end of my prelim, today is a math paper2, it was really difficult loh,hardly any chance of passing liao...... went to denise hse tody, brought heinz bean, gyoza, along..... we cook alot, eat a lot. kimchi soup, kimchi, fried noodle, bakebean with hotdog..... so damn full, and drank fruit tree apple with aloe vera, like the world was ours, tomorrow is bio chem MCQ paper, after that i wan to go shooping, to bugis to buy stationeries, noce jap one, o level in a month time, but still feel lke shopping, haha, wonder how i score for my prelim, any chance of going to JC? band schdule is forward, teacher die die oso wan to make me go band, only Sylvia manage to impress them, jealous is jealous, but what to do, my mind not as fast, not as pretty as her... haha, and anyway, she is close freind, nuttin to be jealous ofm
, only proud of,..
last sat went to church lantern festival, Maureen sing in the choir, the entire event was success, but the pastor toking part was well, gud but i must admit i was a bit impatient, seen sum case of people whu later believe in christianity. He was abit forcing kind, making people put up their hand if they chose to belev in christianity, i didn;t. haha, spoke to Reina, after so long, saw Yvonne;s baby, Joshua, he is so cute, looks like john alot...... the guy whu i noe as maureen ex schmate was cute, his frist time too
nuttin happen.,......... well. will update again,,,,,,,,,,,