the voice inside me

Today i was walking to work, and then a voice inside me said this

"Zui-Ger (Kristal),那么久没有来看Ah Ma了啊？“

And then my mind set me back to 2000, and all that familar scenes
- phone ringing and my usual reluctance at having to pick up the phone
- the slightly low voice on the other end asking me the same old question
- my reluctance at having to answer her why i didnt visit
- images jump onto visiting her at her place
- my usual "clothes into the merlion plastic bag" before setting off to her place
- searching through her pile of clothes for all the grandchildren
- find a panty i can fit into
- prioritizing a pillow for myself when bedtime's near
- the same spot we all recall my grandpa sleep in front of the air-con unit
- the food she cooks
- the rubbish bin held high up by the rusty metal stand
- the familiar towel held by the window grill while we shower in the toilet outside
- the old vintage sewing machine i like to peddle on
- digging up her drawer for coins to buy sweet at the void deck
- leaving the metal gate open while cycling along the corridor
- sitting inside her metal trolley as she makes her way to the market
- stealing time to eat fried oyster omelette because she wasnt allow to eat that due to high cholesterol
- prick on her finger from the blood test she did at Gleaneagle Hospital
- challenging myself to hide inside the scary storeroom in her place where the altar was
- going through the glass cabinet with confidence i can find a book to read left behind by my cousins
- her curry chicken , a classic

and then i was brought back to reality again, here, typing away smiling and knowing i have all the familiar scenes still store inside my brain

..and i know its a sign that its time to visit, “ok,..我找时间就过去“