RodKris

day one about to end since bb fly off for UK. he called me twice today. once to tell me he is waiting for the luggage at the luggage belt and the other time to apologise as Holiday Inn has no wireless access..

i miss my bb soooo much... i know bb miss me alot too... when he called me.. the tone he use is very faint. its like we both have soo much to say but in order to fight back those awful tears that will pour down if we get too emotional, our words spoken are hidden with meaning.

Its this period of time i finally found the words "i Love you very much" meaningful. i finally understand why he refuses to say it each time i say it back to him. i make it a point to remind him now and then how i felt and those words others deem mushy. But its only when i hear it through the receiver than i was thanking him in my heart how he avoided saying it, cos it make sense only when he meant it.

i feel so helpless.. lonely.. i ask pau today how i am going to go to work not hearing his voice? not hearing the same reminder to eat lunch, not having someone to sit beside me in the shop and talk to me, hate me, snare at me when i work. no one to guide the shop while i pee. most importantly, no one hug me when i feel down at school, at work, no one to kiss my forehead.

this is getting emotional, got to stop again..

bb.. first day and thank god everyone is here to support me.

i love you.... miss u soooooooooooooooo much