i love apel yap for who she is
somehow after a big circle..
whenever i am bored. the phone auto dials her number
and she auto agree to go out
this time she automatically drags her bf and me to her sec sch gathering
embaressing enough but The Labyrinth was fun la
alcohol was good, ppl there were great, singing was a little difficult
overall was good and we get to return for the same wine again, even better

anyway i am going to crash her room tomorro before meeting the ex-peiying primary schoolmates for a gathering.. how scared,.. fear they might just blurt out stupid comment like fat and stuff..

haha.. dun care la.. have to face it sooner or later

apel yap.. see i blog u liaop

Pulau Ubin Trip Yesterday

At $2 bucks per ride, (one bicycle = one person)
u enjoy all the sceneries u might never see in singapore

1. mobile toilet
= instant shit
= instant clean
= absolutely no flush require!
= $12/- contact kristal for enquiries

under the toilet bowl u may even witness presence of crocodile,
enjoying ur leftovers

the scenes are uniquely prior to individual,
some regard this scene as beautiful, others find it a place of dumps and pees

the water in the quary/query looks fresh, but tour guide Simon says it's a combination of fresh water and pee-.-"

the cyclist, they must have hated bringing me along, a burden la

but who cares we are a team, and soon i will improve myself too..

the cyclist i am not be,

she's the birthday gurl la

eh.. walls in pulau ubin? prevent we immigrants from swimming back to singapore


i must really say the whole trip was fun and i look forward for more, but could tell the guys must have hated bringing me along, i am a burden.. but practices makes perfect, someday i'll be..

my eyes are swollen.. so hard to fall asleep.

tink missing someone can get pretty tough

i've been missing too much, too many people..

everyday work pile seems aimlesss, yet the hatred for it grew.
Everyday's worries seems increasing, yet the solution remain unsolved
Everyday i wish for some reason he could fasten his trip and return

today i broke down hard again, Dad saw me and scolded me. He blame me for making the man worried and losing his focus to concentrate on his army work. i feel its my fault so i so wanna be selfish, i so wanne have him back for myself.

Tomorro's gonna suck, i lost ALL my friends who agreed to hang out
Took me a while to decide to hate them cos it will mark another day of crying at home.
It also took me a while to understand sometimes things just doesn;t go ur way.
The man couldn't hold on his emotion anymore, i guess i am bringing him too much pressure too.. he kept silence, so did i. Then we hang up, then he sent me an sms, and i wasn't feeling any better..

rEsults came out, nuttin glory about it, yes, eligible for uni.. so what?
work sucks, as usual, my life is in a complete mess, and i felt so is the relationship, if only i could fall back to being what i use to be, to cheat and fool around when he is away and fall back into his arms when he return.

but i am a changed person....

*i wanna separate myself from the world, but i see myself blending into them.

when my first pay comes, i will splurge, leave no cents, cos this pay is too tough to be kept, i hate my off days, i hate staying alone at home..

my life savior, those that say yes to meeting up as late as 11pm in the night, just to hear each other complain about our life, no drink no food, only pillows and hugs.. Awwww!

Sunday morning.. slept till 1pm..


did nuttin


typing useless and random stuff on line,,





i'm pretty deprive of everything!!!!! but at the very same time i am deprive of keeping to myself. i need the time alone.. but i feel the loneliness





then i watch useless show on tv, awaiting my special man to msg.


And then i eat uselss bread spread with nonsensical amount of margarine


and then i listen to chinese music?!?!?!?!





wat a interesting life..

Todays marks the the third day of not seeing him.

my eyes are tired from tearing, i cant even remember how many times exactly have i teared since he first left.

his words are so motivating.. i gotta share.. mark this msg for a lifetime

"dear i reach taiwan le.. tink u still sleeping.. take good care of urself.. miss you"
"oh just go out k.. me here also not good..so u feeling better? if still unwell see a doc tomorrow k? must take very good care"
"the weather here is the same as singapore.. very hot but wind here is very cooling.. muz wait for me to come back k? u are mine"
"dear wat are u doing? where are u huh? now nv reply me.. tink u must be outside.. everything still fine there? miss u"
"hmm.. i received all ur msg.. dun worry my silly.. wat makes me worry is u... so u muz tk good care of urself k"
"be strong k? is late le y haven u gone to bed? i miss u too.. we must encourage each other, this is a big test for us, . we cant fail this dear"
"have u eaten? did u look through our pic? i miss u alot, stay strong k? dun cryle.. mux tk care"
"dun worry.. i dun blame u for that.. sorry tat i complain.. i should encourage u more.. dear.. trust me.. u can do it one.. ok?"
"dear dun be angry with me.. i dun wan this to happen too.. sorry.. really sorry.. dun cry k?.. its makes me feel like crying with u now"
"tink u still at sharon's.. later go home be careful, if too late tk a cab, miss u alot, rem to msg me when ya home"
"i know how u feel cos i feel the same, but we both gotta endure k? i trust u and have faith in u.. srry to cause u to feel this way... be real careful k?"
"pls dun feel this way k? if u keep tinking tis way before i come back u'll be tinking of leaving me..u can do it.. remember our promise"
"thanks alot dear, when i am back i'll be all urs, late le pls go slp early k? another day has passed le, trust me we'll be together for a long time"

its a short three days without him and i make him spent all the bomb on msg. but i seriously cant tk it. We both feel the pressure to hold on.
EVen saddenin was tomorrow he cant contact me cos he cant bring hp on his outfield.. i can feel my lost immediately.

Went to find my besties today, Sharon and Denise both felt the same way before. i guess its because i din experience losin him to NS since we only get back together after he enters the NS for quite a while.

Sharon says when Caifu first enter tekkong for 3 months, life was hard too.. she cried almost everywhere.. just like me.. and we lost contacts with friends cos we had our minds fixed on meeting only the man, i;m just glad i have them with me. Denise had a long day at work, sharon had a tired day, i called them and within seconds we met up at Sharo's.

we talk and i felt so much better.. then we left sharon house. i knew little but heard that Denise and HQ not doing well.. sorry to divert ur attention on me.. sorry u had to give up saving the relationship for the time being to keep me company..

we've decided to meet tomorrow so i dun tink too much about my man on a outfield.

tired, exhausted, but losing sleep. tell me how to cure urself of a illness..

[the most painful part in missing someone is to still continue encouraging the other party that it'll be better and soon be over when u are feeling the lost too]

An outin with the extreme

Zho Zheng and Jun lin might never change.. not even if u give them forever

they are silly monkies that keeps u company but ask u to shoo off

they can even pose for a pictures right

So Apel and i show them the correct example
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First day without the man.

Gotta share the pain of losing someone so dearly to you,. even if it only means 42 days of not seeing him, 1008hrs of missing him, 60480min of tinking about him, 3628800 seconds before i get to see him..

the last day we spend together, it was way wonderful, i had remain my vows and stay strong.. not shedding a single drop of tear. He came pretty early in the morning, i woke up and we talk and share some promises and hopes we hope to achieve from each other after this final trip. I cook him a bowl of noodles and we share it. Then he watches as i prepare myself for work.

He send me to work and i haven seen him then. He pop by suddenly during work and pass me my all time favourite- tofu. I was moved but couldn't tear.
Nigght soon fall and he was about to leave his house for the airport. i remain my cool and we chatted till i reach home. He was by then on his way. By the time i finally relax and lied on my bed, i cried so so so hard.

i cannot describe the pain, its like those time when Grandma leaves, the thought just came back, the heartache. Like those time Lester just left, but this time the pain is more unbearable.
--i recall when i felt like shit the previous time, Lester din came--

and all of a sudden, at the moment when i couldn't hold it any longer, i dial on my house phone his mobile number and my mobile began to rang
(i must emphasize this happens all the time we usually decided to call altogether at the same time)

he couldn;t tk my tear, he beg me so so so many times to cheer up, he repeated those re-assurance, but i cant..
i became so desperate i beg him not to leave.
The man soon cant tk it too.. i could hear the heavy breathe in the way he talks, he was trying real hard to hold his tear too.
After 15 mins of hushing, i manage to calm down, but my nose was blocked, my eyes were swollen i could no longer see.
He was busy with this departure matters, he could only call every few mins after each documentation.

Eventually i fall asleep, those tissues flooding the entire bed.

The next morning i woke up, my eyes were ugly, i had a bad headache but had lotsa of household chores to do. I was sick, mucus and signess.. argh!!!!

i felt better towards the afternoon and decided to hang out with Apel and the guys, that explains the pictures above..

And the man was the SWEETEST k? he msg me every few hours, and call me whenever he can, his voice now sounds better.

[ i always knew the feeling of missing someone, but even when someone is still around, just millions of miles away? if u understood how it feels, u will realise whenever his call, his voice sounds extraordinary to u... i miss him]

minutes before he depart, The man has a request
"can i request that once i return from Taiwan, we'll be officially together... ok?"


i had millions of thoughts running thru my mind.. but i knew, in my heart, it was TIME

me:"yes :)"



first day of missing someone so dearly.

She and i

with my new contact llense.. look at the enlarge eyeballs

check out my cutest cousin,. doesn't she just makes u melt





i am fat la.. but pictures can deceive



the 2 of us.. hate to stand beside her.. hate the contraST



see.. my slim leg.. and her very light body



haha.. this pic makes me laugh.. i tink i look like a really idiotic slut









Seriously shuddup if ur comment is bad







save the story, i dun need to know anything bad about myself







She is mine!!!! get jealous..







more that http://ang3ld3ni53.multiply.com

finally decided to tk another step into blogging.. life's been the hardest.. Yet i cannot recall when was the last time i ever felt that fufiled anymore.

Job was hard, busy using the brain everyday, not exactly on numbers or HTML tag, but more of interior designs and layout. I was to be in charge of creating a new shop in far east, the new Sara & Pat and Ooo..Baby will soon be open by april.

there were also little time to met up with people, only Sharon and Denise Darlin outin was worth the description, main thing was our anniversary outing where we hang out at town and eat at Sakae,
These gals, ever the sweetest, nuttin more than a cup of sugar, did brighten my day, we feed each other our favourite food, shop aimlessly and eventually force ourselves to spend worhtless money on worthless stuff. But the main thing is tha we totally enjoy each other's companies =)

met Lakshmi days ago, its been long since i met up a classmates from NYP, she is a NEW REPORTER now.. damn proud of her.. we talk alot about Celina, hopefully to catch up with her pretty soon.
Apel, JunLin and Zho Zheng came to visit too one day, they were still full of crap, makes me laugh, my colleagues ask how i manage to stay so happy, i told them the secret lies in my friends=)

the man is leaving for taiwan pretty soon =( that explains the long lead time to blog. He's been staying over for the past 2 nights, we caught lots of movies, shop when we can and specially met up at restaurants after my work to eat a romantic dinner as well as to "communicate". we also gave each other time alone so as to get use to not having each other company for the next one and a half month. Not really willing to say this but i gues i am going to miss him, infact there are nights when i cry just knowing that he will be gone for that short while. Am i crazy or what? haha.. anyway its really silly shopping with ur boyfriend when the 2 of u have nuttin to buy and when u've been at the same place to catch movie too the night before. We are addicts!

Denise is busy with her IT fair not, i wish her luck
Sharon is busy with something, i dunno.. hehe.. but i miss her alot

then Jannity and Xueli has been ignored, sorry gals, but i miss u alot too, just that our meeting has been cancel cos jann is sick

and i miss Clarinda who is coooking away in Denmark, Pauline and i talk about u non stop k?
Celina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so much to say so little time.. i've been so busy with work running around all the time, yet i;m puttin on weight, how ironic.. not exactly putin on weight but i can feel the tightness on the tummy now turning flabby.. HATE IT

wat else went interesting? hmm.. pictures shal explain