RodKris

its mid past 12 and i am stuck!! in a total amazing mood to carry on studying! i am all stressed up as work today's been busy and i haven had the cheek to be assure i am well prepared!

gosh! i need the motivation! (thank you B, for the continuos sms of motivation. and damnit for the low battery -.-")

study study was all i could think of for this night! i wasn;t prepard to fall aslp, and the only was to prevent myself from doing it was to eat and feel really guilty about it. To tink i skip dinner, and now i am heating up some leftovers for supper! What does that makes me?

-- a glutton who wont have the cheek to afford few more pounds of weight becase of her strange eating habits!

And B's on a outfield, i am motivate to study for this sweet baby, he's so dearly, constantly msg me and motivating me, telling me it'll all be over before i realise it! He also leave me to study and call me on the dot hours later to remind me to take a rest! Gosh, anyone has a better guy?

haha. and it was damn chaotic at work, i almost lost control at the blasting base of the damn it ERIC "houndstooth" f@#$@#king music. he blast it like there's no tomorro! my heartbeat beats twice as fast! i had a series of headache trying to concentrate on the lecture notes instead. Curse his sound blaster fell on the ground due to the vibration it creates! i'll be the first monkey to laugh my hearts out.
Anyway he pissed me off this timre really bad, i called up the maintainence security who was apparently off-duty, so dun he dare try again the next time i work there cos i ain't gonna let this exhibitionist get away it! Curse him some more!

And now i need a serious break, more workload tomorroe and i've gotta get ready for the Java paper instead! and the only thing i look forward too are:
-B's book out
-Napfa training with darling gal (cos exercise relax ur mind)
-more stayover with my cuzzies
-hopefully some more act of care from Sharon
-outing with Denise, Jannity and Xue li
-my TnD gym visit!

life's been hard, but seriously getting better, especially since i've convinced myself to fake smiles everytime i felt really pissed. It work and sometimes i could almost feel those smiles were real. And still they still share their little dark secret but it ain't bothering me anymore. I spend more time telling myself secret, of the little care i receive from those people i did not reveal. Is that selfish? Dun tink so.

Anyway was proud of myself today for the stupid entrepreneuship idea i tot of today. This was perhaps also the little dream i'be always have. a school which teaches good girls to be good girls and lady to be super lady. love it!

Been msg-ing B like no tomorrow. He was greatful and thank me for my constant support. What really touched me was an incident nights ago.

So apparently B has outfied the next day (on sat night) and his camp is like a bus journey away from my place. So Dad agree to let B stayover at my place and he will take the upper bunk, i'l take the lower bunk and my sister will take the mattress on the floor.

Then whilst his shower, his phone rang and i boldy picked it up, only to hear a lady's voice lookig for him.
When he retrun from the shower, we had a arguement about who she was, she was an old classmates who he chance upon that afternoon while on his way tp fetch me. OBVIOUSLY as a girl i wont trust him, even though he say i can call Figo to ask (that friend we hang out with) ..

that was the truth, that girl was an old classmate. But being stupid and all, ( in the middle of the night at freaking 2pm.. his outfield starts at 7.45!!!) i make a big fuss out of it, sayign it was unfair to me and this and that. Of course that pissed him off, we were both tired but i wasn;t ready to give in.

Than B had enough, he climb up his bed and lied there.. that action pissed me instantly, i was DAMN angry he din do anything to humour me. so i sat on my bed and stare.. and then start crying in silence.

about 15 mins later, he climbed down the bed and sat next to me, i hide my face in the pilow and refuse to acknowledge him. until he took my hand, put my phone in it and waited in patient while i hesitate and finally browse thru.

There was a msg saying "Sorry, i should not have make a big fuss out of nothing"

it was the sweetest msg from anyone, especially from someone who obviously did nuttin wrong.

ok. being more stupid, i refuse to reply that msg. He soon gave up and went back to his bed (it was freaking reachin 3pm then)

i sat there.. tinking more and drying my tear. Finally i whisper to him
"... you still awake?"

B:" (startled and shook the whole bed, stick out his head in the darkness and asked me) huh. ya.. why?"

me:" nuttin. i am sorry.. good night".... ( i am a ass!!!!!!!!!!!)

B:" you silly gal.// good night"

then we talk no more and fall into deep slp. Next morning my dad woke me up and i climb up and woke him up instead. we were perfectly normal by then.

See the power of apology??? he did it on sms, i say it out. It was a same move done differently, but the outcome is equally positive. =)

i tink i am more mature now ( or am i?)