RodKris

Totally ignore B today. Msg no reply, called no answer.

Total msg - about 10
total missed call - about 8

a little annoyed i can say. I know he cares, so it hurts to see me torturing someone else like that.

Went to meet Shar (jalani) and passed him the jersey the team ordered.
He hadn't changed much, still him, still make me smile, still that same old lad except with a funny tee he claim i wasn't suppose to give comment. Left pretty early, wanted to join family for a good old praying session to prepare for the hell-gate-open festival.

Met Dennis for a horror movie dare in the night. To add on to the entire festival la, anyway that movie wasn;t that great. But the food was. Like a glutton, Dennis bought CheeseHotdog, Nachos with Cheese, Ice lemon Tea and Lays potato chips. We were munching away and as usual i was being reprimanded for talking too much, and as usual Dennis let out a very loud burp. Haiyo, friend like that are real.. but abit too real hor.

Dennis is a guy that talks not more than 4 words in a sentence. So its no wonder i always get reprimanded for talking too much. -.-"
After movie, relunctantly as he was, i force him to send me to the lift, then he left for home.

REached home and B wanted me to call him. So i did, talk for a while before he start asking why i was behaving so strangly. i din wan to tell him but in the end i did.

Told him all my reader agree that i should not lead him on, to a neverending circle and that he deserve to move on with his life without me cos i am very very sure we'll never have an ending.
Like Xinyi say, she also start to pity him.

Then guess what happen, can guess la.. i never knew this fellow tat use to be so strong, that never cried when his friend met with a bike incident and passed away. That never cry when his mummy choose to forgo a son like him, that never cry when his mum refuse to acknowlege him as a son, that never cry when his sister attempt to commit suicide-------------- to cry for me, for the third time.

Oh man! it hurts, really really hurts. Cos he is crying, sniffing sounds, cannot answer properly, people do u have a heart? cos i do, when he cried i knew------------ i was wrong.. very very wrong.. this whole thing cannot be worst.

Sniffing, he told him he hate all of you, for giving me suggestion like that. I was angry and shoot him back for saying you, cos all of u are helping him. Then he apologise and beg me, beg me not to tk anithin into consideration.
Then he beg and told me he willingly let me played, willingly let me fooled, its ok. As long as i am with him, he is contented.

Why!!!!!! i commit such a big mistake and he foresake me.

guys please tell me somethin i can do to make it up... to everyone, to myself.

i can 100% tell you all he is a changed man. And i am very very touched by his action.

i know what is my next step, and i dun wan to do it. Please stopped me, for out of pity, i may carry on,.............................

fuck people like me, evil assholes..