At HQ house, after the tanning, about to leave for shoppin at bugi street
some time ago, after work
at the train station after the shopping hehe.. look so tired
Dinner with HQ denise at jap restaurant 
me.. at the restaurant.. so grand place.. thanks HQ sponsor, thank you ur GF Denise
Me and Denise on the cab
Me in HQ house.. haha.. pretty right? i dunno why alaso
still nice right? wa.. digital cam really so bluff one
me and Denise.. i look so fat.. haha.. NOT
haha. watching TV at HQ place
me and My darline Angel Denise
Haven felt that pretty for so long..
Tell me why i am sitting down here. staring in the screen doing nuttintell me why i am stunning,deep inside i wanna shouttell me why i cannot run, like my leg are cuff with metaltell me what i shouldn't do, shouldn't listen nor pounder
Ever felt like a living zombie? i do...i wanna make myself sound a little motivated, i dun wan others to feel sorry for me than feel sorry for themselves
Here are the reason why i feel so blessed in the past, REALLY blessed- i have my grandma always on my mind, whether she is around or not- a stable job with very good commission- a job which i foresee good promotion- good grades- good boyfriend ( i mean Lester in the past)- good best friends (still, Sharon and Denise)- good poly mates (XInyi and Si Jia)- good family ( as in we bother to sit down and chat over dinner)- good life ( sports and work and shop)- good cousin (we just travel to thailand then)
here are the reason why it all fell out- grandma passed away, i stop tinking of her sometimes, shit me- have a sucky attachment, din manage to work as much, commission cancelled- no promotion, dun even get to talk to the boss anymore- with job like that, where got good grades?!- Lester leftm obviously, trying to get on with life, but u know getting up from a fall is always hard- luckily, they are still by my side (best friends)- brother went army, my attachment end so late, cannot even had dinner together- no life, no sport, no time to shop, work 7 days straight for 3 months- cuz is busy with her study, we dun get to meet up nowadays
haha.. see how my life is shattered like overnight? that explains why i am behaving rather awkwardly some times,. i dun blame anyone. Only myself
anyway i am beginning to count my blessings againthe scary thing is counting my blessings means when i lost my blessings, it will be damn obvious, look what i wrote above.. obviously.. -.-"
ya i am still young. ya i can still find better stuff in life..ya ya ya -.-"
anyway i am beginning to tink otherwise, have plans to turn really rebellious, to revengeto make some people cry.. why am i feeling this way? i have clench my fist into my first task, pleasse tell me to stop, for i am not trying hard enough.. i tink i am being lead astray by myselfi know how hurt it can be to hurt someone else.. but why am i still doing something stupid like thisshall i talk about it here? no.. it shall remain a secret.. a dark secret
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