Ok here are some official picture out for BlackHairpins Photo.
The overal picture turns out well so Phyl & i are super excited for the launch of this collection now.


I remember we made our way to town early that morning, stopping by a coffee house for some breakfast. MY fever hasnt quite subside but the meal tasted equally well..


We got lost at first but ended up at the right place eventually, thank God.


All i can say is the whole photoshoot was suppose to be a rush, but towards the end all of us shake off the urgency a little and started playing with the camera. Benny, who is also Phyl's bf, was a good photographer. He could calligraph our pose pretty well and there was always ample encouragement after each shoot, which helps alot =)
So its lucky you! Phyl...

Anyway i look closer at my pictures and couldnt take my eyes off the big patch of bald on my forehead. Consulted Phyl on this and we both decided to have my fringe chop off so the weight wouldnt encourage the balding further. You will all get to see my bangs pretty soon!!!!

We also had a few shots for the header of the blogskin, which i would revamp as soon as i get the time. There is much similarities between our feature, minus the difference in height, and now with my new Bangs, i can easily pose off as Phyl's twin, or Phyl's shorter version =)

Benny suggest both of us not to smile for a few shots,
turns out i am not as hostile looking as i assume i would be.

I love this pic, here's me looking at Phyl with lust! Deep down inside i had bb in mind!!!`

Finaly smiling, i know i am fat, but both Phyl & Benny are encouraging, so here's another reason to lose more weight, so the picture on BHP will turns out well.... Thanks to all those motivation, (Amanda inclusive=), thank you)

For all you people who wants a glimpse of whats coming up in BHP, do checkout some preview pic below, and feel free to tag me a comment if interested, cos i do pre-sale too~~! teehee...

xoxo, Kris

~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~

To be Certain with ur choice.

i know how it feels like to be aimless and feel really doubtful about ur own future cos i've been in that shoe..

I always insist, reaffirming besties that i was never cut-out for a deskbound job, and that i love communication and meeting people... i had the slightest tot that i might end up being a store assistant the rest of my life

But then again, why was i muggin for a degree if it had already been fixed, why was i wanting a a degree to prove my capability? That could be more things in life, in my life, definitely

i had plans to be tied down by 27, to have a stable job by 24, the in between period will be use to strive harder to achieve a promotions by promotion.... i want to grow with a company steadily, married the correct guy, say a vow i could never turn back, buy a dream hse that snowball into a profit earning hse,.. get a economic car.. change a car so often..

i wasnt born for nuttin and neither was other people who are working hard...

no one is born ugly, nor normal looking, all of us dress up to look pretty.. if we dress like a confident young woman, den we will be a pretty young woman... if we look fat, we shed pounds..

Pretty girls are meant to end up with the man they can choose... i believe when u tink u look pretty and when u have options, den u shud choose carefully who u tink u will eventually end up with.. its like when u work so hard to look pretty, u would wan someone to find someone who really appreciate ur effort... if u can successfully work hard to look pretty, den u can successfully maintain a marriage that will become the envy of others..

~Sweet.Silly.Stinky.Sleepyhead~

Stomach wasnt feeling very well this morning, so i went to the ladies to let out a fart...

It was comical i tell u!~ The fart was let out as fast as it came... but what caught me giggling was how it sounded so much like an engine that wouldnt start....

I had that image of a really old mercedez and me trying to wind the engine but to no avail, and i totally tot the resemblance was a miracle.

Haha..... embarrassing facts aside, i am totally bulk up this week till my neck,

- Monday : it was a good day to run home early, after nights of partying for Ray's 21st birthday.. Heres to our Baby Cousin, a fully grown up man now!~

-Tues: i was down with a cold... a little sore on my throat. Boring MSM lecture as usual, there was meteor rain in my area that night, had intention to stay up and catch some stars, but the panadol blew me crazy, i concuss before i close my eye...

-Wednesday: Officially running a slight fever, din realise panadol make me drowsy, i stay fully awake till lecture starts, den fell in a nap so deep i was drooling.. woke up cos the lecturer was noisy, table was wet..... but i was satisfied..


-Thurs: its out with Sharon Besties as soon as work end, crazy day at work, my temperature was changing like a chameleon, it was hype one minute and slum the other... Sharon and i both bought a camisole that night, it was sexy yet vibrant.....

i am loving my leopard preeeeeennnnts camisole while Sharon Besties's camisole is so so so sweet.... (had noted to steal it from her someday)

Also bought a fur material bag that looks oh-so-posh, Sharon says its pretty too.. total Damage that night - a mere $27.... Thx Besties for the dinner.... i am champing my self-profess nickname as CHEAPO.... soon you will all learn, i can survive on $400 per month and still pamper myself and my bb..

-Friday: have promise SiAhPau i will go straight home after work today to chiong ICBS collection, its gonna be ready so ALL of you please stay tune for it... cos we look so pretty in those picture i NEED you to totally verify them (afterwhich you can accompany your tots with "Boomz" or "Shingz" )

-Saturday: it will be another photoshoot with BHP.. Phyl book a new studio and we cant wait to get the picture done up at BHP, $$$$$$$$$ i love $$$, more importantly, i love those customer that feedback how the top looks good on them, its like they appreciate how we done up the clothes and how it feels good on them just as it feels good on us....

-Sunday: Work... work.. work,.. my weekly 10hrs work at Far east plaza, companied by aimless nonsence from bf over Skype, a really good book i just bought on child abuse (Dear SiAhPau, i m finishing it.. so u have read it too!~) 7 days worth of The NewPaper ( thx to my pals at work who store them at one corner, i was able to update myself with 7 days worth of news).

Sigh!` Sigh!~


i tink i fail big time in this whole diet thingy i am doing with Sharon..



Sharon jia you Sharon jia you... den at the back i am breaking the rules, going against the diet.. and in short - puttin on weight... haha.. bb.. when u return and i have already turn into a bigger boobs yet bigger bigger ass, water-er tummy bag and triple chin.. will you still love me?



had a short chat with bb this morning, it was our morning routine, to chat when i woke up (which is also equilvalent to him going to bed).. i asked bb about his close friends over in Uk. There was the usual buddy Fendi as well as this Viet girl (which i had a fight with him about... ) . I ask bb if he will be hanging around with them this afternoon (friday) since they have no class. bb refuse me saying Fendi has friday mosque prayer so they will only be heading out after that...



As much as "viet" has cause a little misunderstanding between bb and me, i tot of askin him to hang out with her (otherwise poor bb's entire morning will be wasted doing nuttin in his 4 wall tiny room). However, bb told me it wasnt neccessary cos he din wan any chance of causing anotheer misunderstand btw me and him due to this matter. Needless to say, i was touched at his attempt to prevent any possible war, however, i also felt the pinch when he mentioned that.


Let me emphasize that bb is definitely not saying that out of sourness from the previous fight, but i felt a little affected.



"wasi being over-possesive toward bb? Had i deprive him of that little time he could possibly spent with his friend"



"had i been too harsh on him?"



"had i become the kind of gf i dun wan to be"



"does that means i dun trust bb"



the comforting thing is when i told bb about my concern, he put it in a way that signifies no matter how other sees us, if this is something i feel uncomfortable, he will make the effort to prevent me from feeling this way. It dawn upon me how he and i have been making the effort to do thing we can possibly do to prevent upsetting the other party.



one, for example, is how i refuse going to the club n drinking unneccessary, that was a strange amount of guilt initially cos i feel i was letting my friends down by refusing their invitation. However, the continual refusal makes me learn quite a few stuff. i din actually felt the need to be drinking myself crazily drunk or waking up with a terrible headache. On top of that, bb explanation was something that had me tinking. He was worried that i get drunk and he will not be around to take care of me.. or that i will end up taking care of others.


but there is s lee-way to everything, bb says i can drink if there is a reason to do so and when he is around..



i believe such compromisation that is accepted by both party willingly are usually the vital things in life that makes the relationship steady. Had bb be a heavy drinker himself, both of us will probably be wasted big time.



and in the most recent case, his attempt to prevent hanging out with the girl alone in order to prevent any misunderstanding was also a compromisation that both of us agree. You may call me selfish as a gf, but i had given the option to bb and he chose this, on top of that, he is comfortable hanging out with that girl as a group, so i dun see how much chance there will be for her to actually want to hang out with my boyfriend alone.



My advise for all the long distance relationship couple out there is simply to compromise to an extend that is acceptable for both party. This may not seem like an important thingg to particularly note, but trust me, (and my bf), it makes the relationship works..





bb.. is finally coming back soon.. tralaalalalalallalalal./!!~ wheeeeeee

did some self-pamperment when i bought this tint that had long caught my attention back when Benefit arrived in Singapore.



i had contemplate about getting it for a while now, it wasnt cheap at first consideration, almost S$40 for a mere tiny (nail polish) size bottle. However, this time it was different, i caught the same stuff at a travel size (about one lip gloss size) selling at 30% of the original price so i seize the opportunity to get it almost immediately.



"So whats the deal you ask me?" (Crap.. its the price la.. @#$@#$) but let me intro this "magic potion" to the ladies out there, this is one good thing you ought to consider if you are as lazy as me is that this is both a gloss as well as a blush. It is also recommended for those with sensitive skin, and the colour is rich yet natural on bare skin (i meant those without foundation base like me cos i am too lazy for it) In addition when u feel the sudden need to have a cheery lips u can simply apply the same tint on ur lip. The bottle is made to resemble a nail polish, which also meant there is a thin brush cap without a glass bottle.



To apply, simply dab or brush the liquid lightly on ur cheek before using ur fingers to run through your face, slowly massage ur face till you tink the solution has slowly dissolve into the skin, leaving it look blushed and healthy.



i pick this tint cos i am hardly a make up person, especially now that i even put a stop to my eyeliner.. i am giving my skin some time to breathe, but trust me when the bf returns i will tranform into a vain pot, with the inclusion of this new member in my collection, hopefuly those who see me by then has something positive to say. =)




omg omg omg.. cant wait!!~

Lately there has been more of a wordy post than anything else.


I wasnt in a dressing mood and most pic were taken of others, which i will post, eventually... one fine day.


As of now, my ENTIRE life revolves around a tiny calendar, calculating day after day, hours after hours to his return. I image that period of his stay to be a fairy tale, with loads of fun, filled with love. 6 months of endurance, counting in pain.


At night, i spend hours staying online, reading our nonsensical conversation online, mostly talking about nothing, and sometime (okok... many times) professing our feelings to each other.

I will like to tell those couple who is separating for a while to consider long distance relationship as a major test of endurance. Although i admit i am not a winner in this test, i believe it is still worth the challenge cos ultimately, there are so much to learn from this experience and i can assure alot of u it wil benefit the relationship.


I use to wonder if it was worth the wait or if the wait will mean i have to stay with the same man forever. Now i know, waiting for him wasnt all about determining if this will mean the end of a wildful life, of chances to meet someone better. I wouldnt agree that this would mean if we ever break up one day, i have wasted one year of my life for nothing. Cos this wait was worthwhile, and this wait----- i build a kind of patient for the other half, the sort i never tot i could =)


Anyhow, half a year has gone and i am growing up, soon to be, i will nag about how i am officially an adult without much youth-gene. As of now, lets just said i should spend this time appreciating things around me that i have perhaps neglected while dating. I can also proudly says i mend some broken friendship, make some new friend, pick new hobbies, found new hangout, and sleep at different beds (for that i meant SiAhPau bed and Cuzzie's.. )


and BB, just come back soon, let me reintroduce the new world i have found, for u and me =)

picnic

life at this moment consist of confusion, inassurance, comtemplation and all nodes of "unsure" add together.





i can say alot of things are so unpredictable that the more you want it to happen, the least unlikely it will. I have chosen not to put too much effort into hoping, into reminding the other party how i will like to view things, rather, i will like to view things in their point of view, and adjust my mentality to that of the other.



this is not a sadist note of how terrible life is, this is also not something worth asking me about. Just note that from now even if i agree with u, it does not necessary meant i am supportive of you, its simply meant i will like to see you prove ur worthiness in my believing.

excited!! Counting 40days plus plus plus to his return!

Haha... Not true la, let me rephrase - counting down 400 days to BB!!!!!

On a happier note, Dad is finally discharge this afternoon, the entire weekend of daze n hidden depressing moment will soon b over. Its time to appreciate the family n dad's contributions to the hse, probably spending more time in n out with the family n showering my nearly sister in law with some family ties... What a new resolution different frm my style

My life is on a tumbling mess,

really thankful it's pick up whenever i feel i cant take it anymore,

will b back to post new entries as soon as i am up and kicking.

Lets get excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Here's the latest gift from bb, omg omg omg omg omg...

now dun ask me why i hadnt choose Iphone over Blackberry. i do know its cheaper to get Iphone over at UK but it excites me to know blackbery has this function where bb and i can do bb-msn, which is BB version of Msn. On top of that, since bb and i address each other by "bb", it makes sense that BB becomes our first choice of gift instead of the latter.

now it down to what i am getting for my bb for his birthday this sat. We have decided to officially shift his birthday for year 2009 to december when he returns. By then i promise a good celebration that leaves both of us missing each other more so when he returns to UK, it wont be long till he wants to see me again..!!

not going to announce what i had in mind, Pau, u better start planning with me..

~i have always hated wearing bra, ever since puberty at age 10, i had to. When i was at her place, i refuse to sleep with a bra. That morning, she wakes me up and ask if i would want to go for a stroll with her, i reluctantly heads for her wardrobe and search for a bra, but then i change my mind.
That morning, we went for a stroll by the long-gang, with me in a sexy red spaghetti stripe i found in her wardrobe... and she was happy.

~i stand inside her red trolley, and smile to myself as she pushes the trolley. Then i will pause her and demand to come out of the trolley. We would flatten the trolley and with the handle in my left hand, and my tiny right hand in her wrinkle hand, we would walk to the market for grocery and to secretly indulge in her favourite "oyster-omelette" that the others wouldn't allow her to eat, including her doctor.

~she holds my hand and secretly tickles my palm, i would struggle and try to shake my tiny hand. She was strong, she smile at me while i scream and laugh and beg her to stop. Den she slowly stop her tickling, and we will continue to stroll hand in hand to her next appointment.

~she makes dumpling, every year, i wanted to help and beg her to allow me to contribute, she will be reluctant at first, den slowly give in to my crazy demand. She opens the drawer and took out a butter knife, that was how i started my culinary interest, chopping garlic and crying while peeling onion.

~i love to impress her, i hate to be at home, back then the letterbox was never locked, i would grab all the brochures from mummy before she throw them away. i would lay the colourful brochures on the table, carefully selecting those i tink will impress her. I will put it all in a blue envelope, the ones i force mummy to buy me. Den on a saturday, i will tk them all out and impress her, she would study them one by one, asking me how i came to my selection. i was proud of myself.

~she made wonderful blanket, and i wanted one just like my brother's. i demanded a pink one with ribbon, she did me one with minnie mouse, and another with satin cloth and pony. i haven use another blanket since.

~she heard me sing one day, and taught me to sing her favourite song in hokkien, i would sing it with her and we would dance together, back then we were never embarress.

~she flash her boob to me once, placing my tiny hand on her mechanical heart, she told me "never forgets my heartbeat" i never did

i want to join u, wherever u are now, it hurts, my heart hurts,

lazy to write

From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: I HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT
.............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:18:33 +0100

Hello i told you from the onset that i dont do scam i have sent the payment and the money had been removed from my account and will be transfer to yours i will be reporting to the authority now

From: Xxx@hotmail.comTo: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comSubject: RE: I HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT .............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:01:15 +0800

Hi Judith,
Sorry... I dun think I will do this deal... It's is risky! I afraid that it might be a scam. Sorry. If you wan I will do make up with cash...
http://www.joewein.de/sw/fraud-western-union-bidpay-ebay.htm#moneygram
Rodman

From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: I HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT .............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:51:01 +0100

Please kindly assist me to send the item first thing tomorrow morning so that it can get there by next week pls do your best to get it posted first thing tomorrow.You can write the delivery address on it now and take it along with you tomorrow thanks

From: xxx@hotmail.comTo: judyrawlings1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: I HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT .............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:44:01 +0800

Tomorrow I got class... Latest by tuesday...

From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: I HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT .............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:42:13 +0100

yes it simple as soon as you post the item out you will be given a receipt of postage from the post office there you see a tracking number/bar code forward it to paypal as soon as they receive and verified it the money will be transfered into your account immediately.do get back to me asap

From: xxx@hotmail.comTo: judyrawlings1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: I HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT .............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:34:51 +0800

Sorry... Check with you... So I need to send paypal a mail on the tracking number? or how I send them?

From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.com
Subject: I HAVE MADE THE PAYMENT .............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:14:27 +0100

This is the delivery address below,

Name:Tosin Raji

Address:No 8 Sapon Rd, Sapon.Town:Abeokuta.Ogun-

StateCountry:Nigeria

Zip Code:23439.

Do get my item posted first thing tomorrow morning via royal mail first classs international sign for.

Regards,Judith

From: xxx@hotmail.comTo: judyrawlings1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: THANKS .............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 21:13:38 +0800

mail me once u transferred.


From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.com
Subject: THANKS .............Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 14:11:14 +0100
I will complete the transaction in the next 1hour my network is slow here i will add 20pounds to the amount making 250pounds i will pay soo thanks

From: xxx@hotmail.comTo: judyrawlings1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 21:05:36 +0800

Hi there,
You send the money already? Got a few offers on hand... around ur price and one is higher... Cause you the first to msg me. So I will ask you first. Pls complete by today. If not I will let go to others. As they offer 230 deal no postage.
Thanks.Cheers.Rodman

From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:24:45 +0100
do not panic it secure you get money from them as soon as i made the payment a confirmation will be sent to you that the money had been paid so get your account opened and get back to me with your paypal email address so that i can pay today

From: xxx@hotmail.comTo: judyrawlings1@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:16:29 +0800
Sorry... But I don't really trust Paypal... Of course I am new to it also...

From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.comSubject: RE: Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:09:12 +0100
the address will be confirmed by paypal but i think he is in west africa do get back to me asap

From: xxxhotmail.comTo: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comSubject: RE: Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:03:35 +0800
Send to where?

From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.comSubject: RE: Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 11:58:06 +0100
Thanks for the reply, i will be buying and i am okay with the description of the item.. I'm Currently out of the town and won't be available for pick up. I actually want to buy the items as a Birthday gift for my cousin in oversea of the confirmed address that will be sent to you by PayPal. My mode of payment will be through PayPal in pounds and i will offer you 230pounds for the item including the shipping and handling expenses to him through through royal mail post office. I want you to send to me your PayPal email id, so that immediate payment can be done.if you are new to PayPal, you can easily log on to www.paypal.com and set up an account with them with either your Bank account Information or your Credit/Debit Card details and its simple and easier, just in few secs; you get your account activated. PayPal is very secure and reliable. Get back to me with your PayPal email address if you are still interested

From: xxx@hotmail.comTo: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comSubject: RE: Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson XperiaDate: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:54:20 +0800
Yes... Still available...

Date: Sun, 11 Oct 2009 11:53:00 +0100From: judyrawlings1@hotmail.comTo: xxx@hotmail.com
Subject: Reply to your ad: Sony Ericsson Xperia
Hi there Rodman, you have received a reply to your Gumtree posting "Sony Ericsson Xperia" (ad# 46997621) from judyrawlings1@hotmail.comHere's your message:is it available?180

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am so so so scared... it was a few min of the greatest near-shock experience of mine.. i am very very very glad my bf and i are supportive of each other... thanks bb.. thank God.

i wanna share this experience with you guy, no comment needed, this is the nearest to crime i had since 12 yr old.

There are stranger out there, so beware my friends.

So it was another random day that bb and i were planning what we gonna get for each other on x'mas, and my bb was planning a real surpise for me. Suppose all o>f you already know my character and how i am able to force bb to spill the bean, i finally found out he had been planning to get me a Iphone this year.


In the afternoon, admist our usual conversation, bb ask me if i knew anything about paypal, knowing i wasnt that supportive of paypal since i have heard alot about it, i told bb i wasnt of much help


Later in the night when i reach home from work, Bb excitedly jump at the chance to tell me he is really excited cos he sold his phone off and shall have enough money to buy me a new Iphone.. i was equally excited but my sixth sense tells me something wasnt very right. i then prompt bb into telling me more about the sales and he says payment is done through paypal and he would have to send the phone to Africa.


Now, i have heard alot about Africa and was aware of its malicious scam, so i told bb immediately not to jump at the chance and allow me a chance to study this whole matter. A little irritated at first, he soon quiet down a little to give this whole transaction a second thought.


Meanwhile i did a google search on "sending parcel to Africa, nigeria" and found this link

http://www.joewein.de/sw/fraud-western-union-bidpay-ebay.htm


it freak me out big time.. as well as this


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070426031506AAaCsz2


and i forward all mails to bb... i ask bb for the person account and his name, and i did a further research on "Judy Rawlings", there were no findings on the person but his name broken up can be found in the same link of scam-fraud .


Bb soon realise something might be wrong and he did another research on the paypal transaction transcript. True to my intuition, it was a 100% scam..


he had received a transcript from
pspaypalconfirmation@googlemail.com


a further research on this email address can be found here --> http://nekkidtruth.blogspot.com/2007/01/ebay-hijacker-email-addresses-p.html?widgetType=BlogArchive&widgetId=BlogArchive1&action=toggle&dir=open&toggle=YEARLY-1136095200000&toggleopen=MONTHLY-1177999200000




we are going all out to reject that person nicely now.... and bb is very thankful he had discuss with me earlier... i am still scared out of my wits... now.. still am.. i will copy paste the discussion btw my bf and him later

Here is a worrying news, i tink i am suffering from very very mild Bipolar Disorder

did a quick serach on Wiki and found similar symptons. For those who dunno what bipolar disorder it, i shall not copy paste it here cos no one bothers to read them. to summarize, a sever Bipolar disorder includes

• emotional, depression
• hallucination
• abnormally elevated mood

and the symptoms include:-

• Depressive episode: persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, anger, isolation, or hopelessness i admit i get the feeling usually 2 weeks into a certain activity, be it dating, working, studying, and i manage to pull myself up by crying real hard the particular night till my eye swells too deep i had to sleep, the next morning, i usually experience the next episode
• Manic episode: i will tell colleagues and friend i am in a full force mood swing, i had a strong tendencies to smash things, to slap somebody and bite something, den i will urge my friends to answer ridiculous question of which i will force psycho them to belive my theory, otherwise my mind will psycho myself to belive they had been conquer. Unless i see baby or stuff that melts me like pets and doll, the anxiety build up till i cry uncontrollably.
• Hypomanic episode: pressure of speech and activity, and decreased need for sleep, needless to say i now understand why i had to dial 11 digits to uk to talk to bb, and why i appreciate the fact that we are 7 hrs apart and he will be sure to chat with me till i try my hands on sleeping again
• Others experience hypersexuality i can justify this, not going to explain how
• irritability please check with the bf, raymond, vivien and pau.. Oh MUST check with my sister and she can tell you first hand
• racing thoughts,: yup.. on the dot.... i cant catch up with my tots, and bf thinks i am have a lawyer inside my brains.
• individual often will deny that anything is wrong.:again.. check with the bf
• hyperactivity disorder: this only happens when i am not aware. my sister and dad have all confess to me about my very very strang personality of talking like a professor with fluent english in my sleep, i grind my teeth nonstop till it hurts, den goes on and on about a theory i cant understand, all that while i am asleep!

i dun need help, but i am proud to say the symptom are less explosive now... am i suffering from bipolar disorder

fuck this fucking life...

leave me alone.... all of u

a REALLY lazy afternoon at home, and here's all that i have loaded my tummy with

• fried vermicelli
• fried carrot cake
• prawn kuay teow soup
• egg tart
• siew mai
• salmon fish
• 1 scallop
• 1 prawn
• 2 clams

Dad has been complaining, all time he saw me at home i am helping myself to the food resources at home, as thou i hadnt eaten all year, and i cant help it, i am feeling so empty, it as if food can occupy those emptiness and makes me feel better...

i wonder why i am feeling so low lately, gotta buck up and hang out with all friends sooner, i feel my roots growing, sticking my body to within 10 km, and all that i can get my ass to, are places nearby, are places that keeps my mood in place..

oh honey, wont you come home sooner.. i need you

on a particular night, TGIF, i sat alone on the bed since 6pm, resting and getting emotional and found out a little more about myself.

- i realise i shud nt tk friends too serously, and by saying so its just cause i am taking friendship a level too high it makes me sick, it makes me emo watching things tk place in silent, it makes me put them at priority..

i hate friday... especially this fri....

bf, you need to understand how sometime it will be that great if u are around..

those u read the above post...... dont ask me anything about it.

"sorry.. I m using your pen.... "

My first conversation with a school mate

sigh.... Break time in school.. Trying real hard to resist that temptation to dial those overseas number that will allow me to hear those voice..

Had a bad dream about almost cheating on Bb.. Glad that dream are far from reality cos the actual fact was how bb n I can b super in love, thousand of miles apart. However, one can never complains about having too much attention from the bf....

omg.. omg.. omg... melt!~ Now you know why i need this man so much.........................


rodster_91@hotmail.com said (7:29 AM):
bb...
I know when u go work...
I this lazy pig of YOURS is still sleeping

rodster_91@hotmail.com said (7:30 AM):
so I send u a morning msg
so u can start work with a smile...
I love it when u smile
it melt my heart....
hehe
hope no nightmare last night
hehe
bb...

rodster_91@hotmail.com said (7:31 AM):
LOVE YOU!!!!!
muackx

Damnit,... i was chio before!