then his mum answer and told me he wasn't home. i ask for his hp no. and got scolded instead, his mum hadn;t understand eng and had thought i was bothering her in the night.

haiz. sad ya.. anyway i think my courage to even talk to him was left with null..... let it just turn into a big mistake ba/...........

sam lost 10 kg in 5 months..... i think she is working very hard to burn those extra weight away. i admire her spirit. despite saying i will try my best./ i realise i was just lying to myself..... hai.. perhaps i am such a faker..... damn.....................

Hate my class... the class mates are so mean and unfriendly. i;m only familiar with a few people.... haiz. this class sucks..


to be continue

i saw JerK today... without second thought i immediately walk away, find a place to hide myself....... guess it's prob becos i would very much prefer to meet him prepared rather than being caught on the street... he was in his school uniform, and me? the ugly yellow top that belongs to mum's. haha, what a total embarassment.
Anyway , things got better Jerk has a new target. Why do we teens fall in and out of this matter so easily?!` i guess it's becos we are still young and hasn;t been able to commit ourselves totally to the stage where things is very hard to go wrong. So i guess all of us can handle our emotion and feelings well so much so that we changes our target as fast as we changes our mood. haha....... Jerk even wrote a so-call poem for the girl on his blog..... a brnad new beginning, it kept me wondering thou, dun wanna doubt him but is what he said that time about his change true?or is it just a reason to make me stop harrasing him..... Whatever it is, i;m just glad we are all good friends....... He hasn;t change much, that ever grey-looking hair and spec.... the same old Jerk

Two days ago is the lantern festival, and i recall two years ago on the very day \, i invite Ismail to join me for Lantern festival . It was the first and only time i ever invite him out and he agree instanly. then we spend a while together......... so two days ago, i pick up the courage to call him and chat

......................... to be continue

in class right now. there's nothing much to do except wait for time to pass fast... luckily today school finishes earlier than usual... 3pm. after which must go to work.........

-today Kumaran suck......... she scolded Apel and Adrian for nothing,.......... this is rather the first time i kind of hear them tok loudly.. why didn;t she scold other who tok even louder/........?
Anyway when a person is angry there is nothing to balme them for maligning someone innocent.

-my post saving account bal is 132.50 so far...had plan. tennis 32.50. cousin 10..... 45 for train concession...........set aside 30 for meal money because i'm working./...... left a minute. how tosave up for my converse high cut leather shoe???

-wanted to buy alot of stuff. bro offer a 40%voucher for levis jeans,.... really wanted to get it but scared the waist line so obvious so in the end gave it to Si Jia... but........ today Desiny_escape msg me say she wanted a pair of levis urgently....... haha..... good things dun come by easily... sine Si Jia already mention it earlier........ too bad lo. nvm,,,,,,,,,

- have decided to go back to the cheerful me...... but things aren;t really going my way thus it's rather hard to bring on my smile again.... but i will try harder

-jea had to undergo a operation few days ago. so Sharon and i are taking turns to come in for her. this week is suppose to be a light week for me....... nvm... work more..... money more......!!
jean had a extra something on her stomach... she had to cut off.... poor things........

-am going to do a project on hooked clothings./ hopefully things turn out well......

-what more do i have to update? erm. oh ya. dream of Ismail that day.... haha.. sweet dream./

-=x.X DrEamS AreN'T reAliTy X.x=-

This is my cousin..Avanda! it was her first birthday few days ago... we went for her chalet in costa sand.... before that our class had a BBQ and all of us participated.. it was fun but its hard to get eveyone to work and play a part in organising it....... guess the fact that it work out was already a blessing...... Ws did not really help out... that was a setback of the the entire BBQ but thank god this event allow me to commuinicate with many other i never i can open my mouth to....... then after a while i rush to costa le......... but costa was fun particurlaly cos Avanda was there an cousin tooo.... cuz and i worn the same top and bottom........ and we were of BBQ-ing yah it sound kinda of stupid and childish........... but glad it all went out well only that despite we plan to stay overnight,,,,,,,, many of us were too tired to stay awake thru out the night...... cuz and i bought a top for AVanda, expensive cos it cost $22.90. imagine that for a tiny piece of clothes...... hehe.. Avanda is so adorable, she kept stretching out her hands for me to carry her, bet she loves me....... hehe.then she cannot walk and eat,... but always shout for us to let her try out what we are eating........
i wanna write more!!~ but it is time to go back to NYP le........ so thats all...... will update
p/s: i;m not forcing you to update.......you dun have to do it if you dun wan to...

i did something pretty stupid today... i read thru Jerk's blog over again from day 1. of course it's not wonder one will get all emotion over him,... he's just to transparent.... someone you can just trust and rely on.. i guess i learn a new thing each time i read your blog.. that is:

- no matter how bad, how ugly and how a failure a person is.... she/he will get appreciate one day. Thanks for making me feel i was like a princess before... hehez

-no matter how angry a person may be and how much he/she wanted to hide and escape from the truth, never vent her/his frustuation just because he/she wanted it to hide the truth, also , never blame others for the thing you realise you do and thing you realise you wanna do.

-if happiness for others can be created by covering your own sorrow, then its worth it....
sorry you had to hide the truth and make me feel you are doing all these because its me who you had change the feeling for.

-if you realise the truth is what you wanna strive for, dun keep yourself in your lies anymore
really appreciate the fact that you went ahead and do what you think is what you want... it's a hard a journey for you, a hard jourey for me too,.... but all will turn well in the end!!!~

yah thats about the few lesson i've learn today!!! hey brother, you have better update your blog le........

i'm very busy this days, reaching the point i think i will break down soon... it's working and studying evry day. monday till today, everyday after school i'll be running to the MRT station then rush to work. some time i'll fall aslp during the journey but i cant cos i;ll miss my stop, now that Fred wanna pay me for standard hours, i have to complete at least 20 hours of work in a week.... haiz, one more days of such rushing i shall break down. Then Plaza sing is also a very boring place cos customer is less than ants sometimes. i can only sit in the shop and rot, even if i wanna fold the clothes, i;ve finish folding almost all cos lily has almost done them so wonderfully, i miss far east hopefully Fred does not put in far east long term, i'll just quit... haha..

that day Jerk came to town, but i was working on plaza sing, if not we could have meet.. cos we haven see each other for long long time le, you dun wanna lose a friend nether do i!!! haha....

that day got my pay so went to shop with my BEST friends, Denise and sharon went with me to town to get present for cousin ... it's a D.K.S outing again, i;ve regain the spirit i lost all these while.
We went to Roxy and i bought a roxy tanning mat for cousin, then we went to grab a bite at Subway sandwiche. after that i went to work then they went shopping,. they then move on to junction 8 and i met them there again after work..... then i bought them each a fox brand top, so i bought 4 pieces lah, then went to Arena, and i bought a bikini top.. thats ends the day. whoo, then the day before i bought a crystal for my aunt birthday..... all in all i spent up to 120++ in 2 days, whow... thats the effect of not shopping for so long...
that day sharon also bought a bikini set for herself, think it cost 26bucks, Denis bought pant that cost 10 bucks.....

that day while i was working M1 has a event so the model keep coming into the shop to change clothes, what a busy day.......... guess today i wrote alot of nonsence....... who cares....... haha

i kinda hate myself this few days,........... dunno why.........
i hate myself...... no one likes me......... was i jealous or what? dunno lah........

there are lotsa of couples these days.................... Apel and Adrian
Chris and Celina
Simon and Shan
Wei Zhe and Wei Fang
Niko and Alex......
how should i feel..... suck
no one evem realise i exist............ why am i so ugly and stuff......... why am i born the way i am?
Why are my friends are better looking than i am................... why ppl put up message in my Friendster but not looking for me......... but the one besides me............ why am i so unlucky? No looks, No brains........ i am nothing............... nobody makes me feel better............ day by day i only feel worst................... worst....

Am i sick or what? am i just a stupid useless girl? Do i even look like one girl? i think i suck.......... right to the core,......

Why am i feeling lidat,,,,,,? Please god dun make me feel this way cos i know that will happen.........
i dun wanna go back to those crying and weeping days............. please god change me for the better.........

upcoming birthdays............. Aunt 11 Sept
Sammie 11 Sept
Cousin 14 Sept....................................

this few days of full blogging makes me proud.
My boss has been nice this few days, my colleague knew i had little-to -no money for pocket money cos mummy refuse to support me with pocket money anymore, so they request to Fred to pay me standard amout so i can work standard days instead of being on-call....... and he agreed. that was good cos from now on i have a standard 100bucks per week... but of course i have to work to pay it off....... guess my schedule will be considering very tight from now on...... its ok since i have more money to spend........

Steve banana-Jakarta actually wanted to hire me...... during the holidays........ that will be my greatest honor cos it's always my wish to work in that kind of environment....... haiz....... but he advise me to accept Fred proposal...... cos it'a always better to have a standard income and stuff....... told him actualy my greatest fear is to face talking to Fred...... then he explain this should not be a fear cos we all have to face our boss in our business world in near future.......... actually my intention to speak to him is also to apologise to him for not being able oto work........ haha........ nvm lah,......... since he always so blur one mah.....thats why i call him banana-Jakarta.....

i;m gonna cut my hair again today...... cant help it...... too long le..... reach tip of ear le...... then if lidat wanna style very difficult....... cos hair too heavy......... Cuz is coming with me....... glad cos i like having her to give comment and supervise........... haha. i siao le....... holiday one week has been so fun...... too fast cos today is friday le.......

my style change...... it was a nice thing but i start to have difficulties what to wear...... being girl is no easy thing......... so guy had better not irritate me by saying how great they are......... is Mother Thearesa Female?

Wanna work more....... must study hard......... if Kristal cannot balance both well...... one must go........

now that i have money for lunch le......... dun spend so much....... if Kristal spend too much... all money will go.

P/s: read ur blog....... haiz.....you long long no update le hoh...... free must drop me a comment...... thanks

it been a while and i guess both of us are learning to cope well ba, this is part of growing up, making ,mistake and learning from it.
-=however, i dun believe in now and forever, it might take a while before i finally try to believe it again=-

watch "A Cinderella Story" it kept me imagining things... I should share the story with you, i NEVER say NO to Girly movie, Mean GIrl is another wonderful movie.

-=A Cinderella Story=-
Samantha was born with a perfect Dad, live in a perfect hilltop and owns a Perfect Diner with staff that treat each other like family, include their loyal customers....
One day Sam's dad bump into a fat ugly lady but fall deeply in love with her, they soon got married and Sam knew immediately her Stp-mum hate her.

One night aftr reading fairy-tale Cinderella to Sam, there was an earthquake, in order to save his new wife, Sam'dad risk his life, that was night Sam last saw his dad.
Not long after his death, Step-mum sent Sam to the attic, that was her room, she had to stay there forever....... Sam cried her way to sleep....

7 years later, Sam stil wakes up cooking breakfast for her sstep-mum and step sister... Guerilla and Buerilla....... She was dying to go to Princeton University which her dad told her where all the Prince study...

Sam has a best friend, a child-channel star, freak some call... both sam and "zorro" were constanly bullied in school..... that day Sam saw Nomad, the so-call coolest guy in school, rugby champion, but she was not interested in her, she guess nomad and the bitch was born to be together since both of them share the fame...

Sam has a very special someone who study in her school and wishes to Princeton together... he was her MSN pal and SMS mate, they grew in love through Them... Nomad suggest Sam meets him at the school Ball that very day at the middle of the Dancefloor.. Sam was scared but prepared... However, her Step-mum refuse to let her go saying that her Diner needs someone to clean up the place that night. Sam was disappointd but believes that " True Loves can wait"

Knowing she cannot make it to the Ball, Zorro went over to the Diner and persuade her to think on her own and go for it, finally, through persuation by her "family" in Diner, Sam dicided to sneak to the Ball but return before 12 cos that's when her step mum returns. but she had no gown to wear, luckily, her "family"-Rhonda has a wedding gown for her.

That night Sam was beautiful, she worn a mask to cover her identity....... afriad pple might recognise her for the Diner-girl(Yucks name!~).. she wait in the middle of the dance floor, finally Nomad arrived, he was the special guy in her life, Sam was shock and refuse to hang with him cos she knows that Nomad was meant for the Bitch.. However, Nomad persuade her to spend the night Dancing, Sam was in love, they dance in the garden........ each ask each other 10 questions: 1. are you disappointed in me, do you believe in love at first sight..... 2.do you loves me........

at 12pm the handphone alarm strike! it was time to rush home. Nomad chase after Sam but was pulled back by the audience cos he was the "most gorgeous"in the ball that night, Nomad only manage to pick a handphone that Sam drop in her rush to go home.

Tat night ended and Sam decide to hide the Cinderella identity from Nomad, however, it was discovered by her stp-sister,... they, together with the bitches star a play telling the whole school how stupid handsome Nomad was to fall for a Diner's girl, the whole school lagh..... Sam was sad, she cried for a long time that night, Nomad dod not stand out for her, instead he keep his sorrow in silence..... ]

that day got Sam very sad... she start thinking about her Dad....... and then she remember, - Never let fear strike you and prevent you from playing the Pool- that was the line her dad always wanted her to remember......... sam went up to her step-mum and scold her for the way she was treated, she then request to quit her job at the Diner and go out and go out and survived on her own....... that night the whole diner quit their jobs....... Step-mum was left with nothing........ Sam stayed with Rhonda.......

Next day in schol SAm went up to nomad and tell her hwo she feels: she was glad that she found out Nomad was such a coward and she told Nomad she will get over guy like him........ after saying she ran out crying but happy........ she also wen to catch rugby match with Zorro..

All along Nomad was sad............. it was not that he don't wan to speak out for her....... he was just speechless........

Sam saw Nomad playing for the Frog Rugby, he was the best player, the nicest Captain..... and every one was shouting for him...... AaronAmes Aaronames (Nomad real name). Sam couldn;t take it anymore...... she wanted to go home........ she was walking through the crowd... not realising at that time Nomad ran up to her......... he told Sam he was sorry and was sure now he was doin the right things,........... they kissed.............................

Sam realise her Dad had left a huge inheritance for her. Sam was rich, her Step mum and her Step sister became the Diner staff..........

Sam and Nomad went on to study Princeton University together and live happily ever after, or at least through Unversity, they were afterall , just freshmen!!! - The End-!`

Gues i hadn;t make the story sound as exciting as it was......... but it was a nice show........

Sam believes, Sam let goes, Truth will come in the end, that is True Love.....

what we shared together are not consider love, dun worry and feel guilty k? We can each find our very true partner if we wait pateintly....