I'm not worried about anything anymore..
Guess this heavy stone on my shoulder is forever gone........
I apologise for the temper i gave........
i shouldn't have forced things to happen this way...

We are still friend i guess........

when you read this i'll be the most glad to wish you all the best in your future undertaking.......
Remember, never forget a friend like me....... haha

finally found my way to uploading photos.... this system totally suck......
But gee..... thanks god it works!~

Not fair, not fair... so not fair!~ i think its time i change my blog entry into blog drive, cos this blog is far too plain...... think i will fetch every single entry into the new blog too........ just can;t bring myself to just leave it alone.. or maybe i can make another blog to put stuff that can be reveal and still keep this blog confidential?!
Shock! so shock, he read my blog, thought this blog will remain a secret for good....... i think i expose it in my webpage le...... gotta take it out, it's been a hard process trying to keep the blog to myself, and till date besides than him,no second human knows about it. thought he dissapear for good too..... sometimes, things just turn out the way we least expected it. No high hope, no vision, i'll keep my head low..
haha, i think by writing my blog like that , jeRk wont understand....... gee..... dun bother asking me, things you can understand means you can understand, you can;t......... hehe,. too bad.
Monday is XinYi's birthday, thought we hardly know each other, she was the first to hear my sorrowiest moment in NYP, so i plan a day for her with me and Sijia. Knowing she is a craze for kimono, we bought her one from my workplace... $24 discounted to $18.. thats the great thing about working as a retail, you always first hand stuff @ a cheaper rate.. Monday need to wear formal....... die!~ but in between got a few hours break, so Sijia and i will bring Xinyi to eat lunch, then we'll grab a tiny cake for her, cos i dun enjoy eating cake, taste funny...... after which we will pass her the present and head back to school.... short and sweet, sounds bored but with my nonsensical, funny and crazy self, i guess xinyi will enjoy it pretty well....... siJia despite being a yr older than me, we manage to click very well...... she listen and have certain thinking like me, guess my thinking is actually quite mature too..! hehe, praising myself........
dunno why i;m so happy now, i FLUNK my exam this morning and i'm still behaiving likdat.
Cried this morning..... the stupid IT exam, it was;t my fault..... I was doing all my sum on the com pretty well and have assure a full marks on the first session... Then suddenly the com delete it all, no way!~ then i have to hand in blank disk to sir. Never felt worst, the feeling of not gettin result is always terrible, esp when you have already assure yourself half the paper to be full marks!!!! hate myself!!!
when he ask me questions, it always takes me a while to answer, i dunno why, but i make sure i answer it the way i think i should, dunno why either. He's just very fragile loh, and i guess i just wan the best out of every reply i give.
Funny things is when he sudenly call me, i practically blurt out all my words, bet i sound stupid..... remember kristal...... stop assuming the impossible...
should i post this entry? yes...... no........yes........no? why not?....... but what if...... i just dun wan to lost even a friend.........
stupid 184, i practically ignore him! what have i done to deserve untrue fact. He is such a faker.....Forgive and forget, whatever it is, i have convince myself he is definitely not a good friend, not a good guy and definitely not a good boyfriend, pity his gal.........
haha, very bad ah kristal....... outside pretend to be "it-s-ok" kind of girl , reach home the "Stupid-Shit-Damn-him-her-they" pattern........
nvm lah,.... whu cares....... whu cares........ WHU CARES?
not bad a achievement today ah...... write very long........
by the way misssas SAmmie very much today, infact missas CJC very much. Kristal never regret what she did, but some times we just cant help it.

Meet up dear today... throw all my troubles to her, she listens and feel with me, if only she understands how much i value our friendship and sistership. She is different, if only she knows... told her today that i really dun think she should flood herself with studying....... but cannot bring myself to tell her that..... so put it in a way as if Denise and i told her together.........
crazy....... why bother so much about her, she is all but a best friend, now that she has her Krive....... she should need less of me....... stop acting like a nanny Kristal!
guess i should end here........... too long le

hehe... it's been consider a while since i last part from CJ, but our bonding is still there. Me and Sam toks alot, she still confine in me, that makes me really glad.!!! Had a slight quarrel with Cuz again. WOnder why we cannot agree in certain matters. But it was solve soon enuff. My Cuz is sweet, it's always me with the temper n always her whu cools me off by saying 'sorry'. Haiz, when will i ever grow up? cus is going for her piano examination today. May god provide her the strength to pass thru her examination. I know she can do it. Cuz is really funny sometime... First Amanda was her best friend then it comes Sherry n Peilian, The it was Gough, then it was Sherry n Susanne, now it was Xiu xian. That gal might put off well as a gal who is mature in thinking, but when it comes to such personal matter, nah.....z.. :P, she's my cousin, glad she make the correct choice in choosing me as her alter ego. Well, i foresee our sistahood stay, be it pressure from our parents or btw us, in the end, it is still us who makes the diff in or lives. i had better not praise her too much. She'll get big headed easily. I had been working this few days, raise up to 100 bucks, Ismail call me on sat apologising for missing the dinner we had promised. But i was really mess up cos i had tot it was next week. Well, but he did not update me on our next date. i dunnno why, he kept me thinking hard, very hard. It's hard not to, cos we share so much past together, n he was the one i totally relied heavily on for what to do , what to think n how to do. I cant help it but gets really affected by his presence all of a sudden. I feel very , n extremely guilty the presence of Bobo the first three mths of this year. dunno why things happen the way they do. But it;s always our responsibility to solve.

No one knows about my blog, i cant help but feel worst and worst everyday, it's like a secret within me. Today passes as usual, had my lecture as usual. But the most awaiting even will be the meeting with Govindasammie, haiz, it;s been a very long time since we met and i have a milion to tell her. I bet she has alot to tell me too. I also need to pass her the school uniform (althou she insist i keep it for myself, what for?! to mop floor ah....) and the school PE shirt and some files and not to forget the book i bought for her. Today is ruin by the MEdora commuinication tutorial, Haiz in the end Sam and me did not meet loh. i got so pissed off that i make the thing that is bothering me be the subject of my speech presentation.. Medora said my speech is good. Haiz, i told Xin yi and Si jia that i kind of think Apel and all will hate us cos we went on to the tutorial even thou we had agree to skip it. Why am i always thinking and assuming what others think? I sumtime think i am such a freak it;s hard to get along with me. Why does the friendship in CJC and Deyi all this damn years and all other events i attend be so smooth. ppl of BI0403 is so hard to understand. I also dunno how to carry myself, back those days i reveal my very true colours, one gal who goes really crazy and belong to the sporty and easy-going kind, whereas in NYP i'm a quiet gal, haiz, when can i finally let my hair down and hey-hoh?! Today Xin Yi, Si Jia, Jun ling played badminton, it was fun, we sweat, at least i sweat today. the last time i sweat was the jogging morning with Xin Yi last sun, we met early morning 7.30 to go jogging from yishun to khatib to seletar and back. She was a good runner........sec top few. Thanks to presence of Xinyi and Si jia and APel and Celina, the many few ppl whu makes me feel comfortable in the class........
Anyway thats about today, suppose to wake up to jog, wonder what happen,? this few days slept alot and can hardly feel energeic. Had cornflakes chocolate with milk for breakfast, tiap-tiap harshbrown and tea cos XinYi and Sijia got it for me. Went straight home after the tutorial. had tiap tiap again for lunch, grab some grapes, keropok and biscuit, all ultimate small serving.
then went on to dinner, had a handful of rice with all but sweet curry, those non-chicken kind. Kaka traditional food, taste somehoow resembles Lontong gravy......
Cynthia and i met up last night, bought my Giordano Racer back finally, worn it today..... Cynthia said i look slimmer......... better keep it up;/.////