it's been a long time, prob too busy. JeRk stop contacting me, neither do i want to talk him into it anymore, i did tellhim more than once that i dun wanna be the one whu always start a conversation. ANyway, no boys shd cum into my life, it only make me proud, which is definitely not a gud thing. Yesterday is teacher's day celebartion. i sent a card to MRs Nai, aferall, whu worth more than her in my heart i gave Mrs Ng a soap scupture, i think she has done more than how much she thought she would wan to give. There is a Netball match between the teachers and the students, at that instant, i really wan to join in the match, haha..... anyway it was Kat and her bf-vincent, Lijuan's- Wee seng played too. Other than that, therest of the famous guys were inside too. Bruno took part and i can see the teacher almost fallen for him, his swift act and fight against Mr lee, te ever best athletic, whu would have thought he would be that pervert a guy as to initiate a kiss against Cynthiaz , never judge a book by its cover. Bobvin kept calling me this few days, one nite i finally answer his call, and he was so desperate i can tell, i make sarcastic remark of how his brother was so much more handsome than him. Haha, these kind of handsome guy like Bob is definitely not a good bargain, he is too desperate. oh yah, Jek Sheng, Xue Fen, meg xuan and sili met yesterday, it seems that they were the only few pple whu bothered,\ to go back to peiying, Jek sheng ask if the reason i did not turn up was to avoid him, i immediately told him no, i feel so helpless, it seem so difficult a day alone. I turn down a bball game with Wei Jie, Sharon and (teck young...... dunno whu lah) i dun wanna see Wei jie again, neither do i wan him to see me, to make him regret a million times that the girl he use to fall for had turn into a ...... frog,,,,,, haha.today i did not break my promise to fanny, i went jogging and pick Kristi up from her streaming, then we walk cum jog home, i worn my tennis necklace this days, i really like it thoughti am aware yiling has a similar one.did nuttin whole day, was on the tv all day, and i mean whole day, i shd be studying, but i didn't haha, what had happen to me? haha, then in the afternoon Mrs Nair call me, she thank me for the card, her voice ever so sweet, i wanted instantly to hug her and tell her how much i wanted to turn back time, she ask how i was don in my excellent drama skill, i told her how much my talent was not being discover here in Deyi, she admitted it was a loss, she even said she recall those days where Mr Ong praise me for my leadership quality of all my achievement in school back then. i ate alot these days, prob becos i am not in sch, however in the afternoon, for lunch, i couldn'tforce much food into my mouth, i am jus use to eating little for lunh, then they cook mee fordinner, i jus drank the soup, i hate mee! Actually wanted to meet Cousin for studying, but we were both worn out, in the end i really stick my buttock on the sofa all day. Jannity told me yesterday that she saw Ismail and Shahidah hanging out together, i ws fuming, i dunno why, it was definitely not becos i still like Ismail, afterall, the Three years together is enough. I jus didn't like the idea of hearingthem together, and i tild SHahidah how much i hated Ismail, to think they were studying together and touching the hair and starign at each other, i feel rather betray, however, i mustn't be selfish since i actually fallen for JeRk a while ago, ahah..... teenage islidat i guess, we all do foolish things, and one more thing_Ismail definitely SUX man , fat and ugly. I know i was so crazy over him for the past years, i wonder whyi did that, he was jus so-the-one in the past, and now, i wanna puke upon seeing him, izzit becos i still like him thus care so much for him......... i guess not, its jus a KPO atitude, ok, prelim comin soon, i must work harder............. GeeK!~

so..... there are people out older than me that is uding this diary thingy too, haiz, this few days i didn;t realy think of guys much, maybe i am not that desperate afteral, went out to orcahrd with Cynthis and Sharon to Orchard to buy things for Vanessa, her birthday is coming. 30/8. Sharon cousin, Lijuan birthday over not too long ago, so she is buying too loh, i bought a V necklace for her and a tennis oendant for myself, i eye that for so long liao loh, mummy say it will darken after sum time, but why not buy it for a period of time, owning sumthin too long may sound not too good after all. We tok alot and i was happy, i tok about Bobvin, shaorn tok about Weeleong and nick, and Cynthia about Eric. now Msn with Zihao, Weeleong, and ming Fui. Tok to ming fui about the letters we use to wrie, sound so idiotic

it has been reallly long since i wrte, i mean a day lah. Hehe, today hav geog test, neva study, but last min got read thru, hope to score well, anyway all the topic are previosly tested already, mop the floor today, did pretty ok for a/c today. i Have a bad feeking, that everyone in 4/6 seem to hate me, it matters a lot this afternoon, but i felt much better now, prob because my family are with me. laze around doin nuttin all day. Feel so fat, still eat alot, today my classmates saw my photos when i was young, newest was in sec 2. Back then i still look pretty slim. Haiz, they all agree, i juz suddenly bloat, too much i didn;t realise till today i guess, i agreed i use to be very beautiful, that was why i got into so much relationship(childish) prob. Now even if i wan to go back to the past me, it seem almost impossible. I really duno what to do, it seem like using the gel seem useless, it work while i was using it, now since i stop for a while, i grew badly back
anyway, i didn;t much appresiate those little fat loss. i really hope to get past to the me in the past, what a very stupid thought. if only i could control myself the way Joilin tsai do. Haiz, nonsence. Today i saw JeRk online, i did not initiate a conversation, neither did him, all of a sudden, i think i dun lyke him, he sound so timid to me. i am lyke a gorilla infront of the mouse. Haiz, why am i so un girly? maybe God giv me a task, to be a strong one. but i really wish to look litle angel i use to be. Fat hope Kris....... thats all for now, exam drawing near. haiz...........

haha, today is a rather boring day. Tuition juz as usual, everything as usual, Gavin and his friends are here. during tuition, Jasmine update me about her and her newater guy, haha, they are goin really well, went on a movie and dinner yesterday. That guy paid 40 pluss for the meal, not so bad. Hope sumthin will bloosom out of them. Saw JeRk online now, but dunno how to start a conversation with him. it is always me starting a conversation, think i shld keep low a bit. Mummy say i could purchase my spec for 70 bucks today, i thot it was rather expensive, but on the second thot, not too bad. really feel i put on weight liao, see my clothes very Zi pei. haiz, really hope to look better loh. Today, didn't really think of JeRk, prob it was only a crush that last for a while. miss tennis today, so much stuff i could hav done with Vivien.
everyone is preparing for prelim, i better start too........ nuttin much today, jus another boring, may not hav time to write he nxt few days. till then, lub lub

its me again, today is a rather unusual day, Sharon(dear) and me hang out at junction 8, she bought a short beach short and i bought a 3/4 beach short. haiz, so sad, the XL look so big on her while when i try it, i t was almost like any of my past beach short, almost pushing my fats out. At that instant, i wanted so much to shout, i am still that ugly girl i've always been, nuttin has change.When others praise me, i feel like butterfly, i guess it was all but a fat hope dream. Haiz, i hate myself, 3/4 of day i do. But the only benefits it seems to bring is that Gary and i can wear the stuff together as most of my clothes are u noe- boys'.Nvm, i think he look gud in it anyway. JeRk and i chatted yesterday online, today Sharon ask me if i like him, i dunno......... haha, i think it will be better to even be a butch, all this will definitely not come my way............... see many guys today, one was totally cool~ except for his height, look prob an 19, so cool~ lyke star, oh man, i was so crazy but lost sight of him in a while, as for Dear, she caught two guys, one really spiky fellow in white, pro 17, another red shirt sale fellow, really dilligent, pro 20. there was this very handsome guy whu caught dear and i sitting near to see the red fellow, bet he was jealous as he inform that guy and we had to hide, anyway, i was not into him but he certainly made a gud salesperson. Dear wanted to see him, in the end, we stay at 4th floor to allow her to catch him from above. what a day, iwas awfully tired. the white guy and his pals, went pass us and glee at each other, i find them not as gud compare to JeRK. the saying always goes "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder". he taught me how to write my second entry today, what a freak i am! he msg me asking bout my mock today. yesterday, his msn nick was "i really miz those time when i was depress and u were there for me, i am sorry for my mistakes" haha, i have no comment to that, prob confuse. btw, Sharon was telling me today what eric told her, that bob's friend told him i was looking pretty this days and he actually call me to pester me, haha....... some guys are juz jerk. last week, in northpoint , i saw Derry, not bad that fellow, looking well in gold fringe and standin tall. last week too i saw this guy use to be in peiying, short back then, but now really tall and fair and 'new'. when he saw me, he was staring, prob he remember me, Vivien said he was cool, i think he was staring to alert me, maybe to noe Vivien thru me. Whu noes, what matter most now is to score for my exam, that is definitely my main concern ~ Kris

15/8
haha, i am being a copycat myself. Never thot of trying out an online thingy lidat. highly influence by a friend- JeRk! i call him. i realise since no one is going to read it anyway,i might as well just pour my thots here instead of wasting my pen.
Name: ChNg KrIsTaL
BeSt FrieNd: ShaRon, LiYing, Vivien, Sylvia
Crush: JeRk
so much about what i think is essential in my further entries.
shall start abit about me today. FOr the first time in history (exaggerate.......!) mummy and i went shopping. Bought nuttin but bras. Haha, wanted to cut my hair short, but put off the idea. i realise many pple around me did things i neva thot i will do it, so felt really lucky myself. but recently got rejected or rather, turn down by a guy i neva thot i will fel for, he is too handsome, the catchy one in every one's eye. am i lucky, but too bad, there was no happy ending........ haha